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How long until you feel comfortable going over to someones house for dinner?

mammasita

By mammasita
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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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Does it matter whether you met on line / at a bar / through friends?

 

For women - would you go over to a mans house for dinner on a 2nd date?

 

For men - would you go to a womans house for dinner on a 2nd date?

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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Yeah I'd go over for dinner for a 2nd date.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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For men - would you go to a womans house for dinner on a 2nd date?

 

If she was a heretofore stranger, no.

 

If I knew her otherwise and we had just started dating, probably.

 

In any event, I would communicate through words and actions that a dinner invitation does not equal sex, for me anyway. YMMV.

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

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I suspect for men, earlier is fine. For women, I would not recommend it nor believe it as desirable so early on. I've had ladies to my home for dinner, but beyond the 3rd date and almost always culminating in sex. There was not expectation verbalized, but at my age, the ladies pretty much know and want some intimacy when heading back to the guy's place. Again, there was not expectation.

BluEyeL Established Member

BluEyeL

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I'd say as soon as you are ready for sex. For me, not second date under any circumstances. With my current BF, I went to his place for dinner after 11 or 12 dates, had lost count by that time, it was over one month of dating, about 1.5 months. He invited me after 5 dates or so and I said, I can't wait for that, but I'm not ready to visit your place just yet.

tbf Established Member

tbf

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For women - would you go over to a mans house for dinner on a 2nd date?
Not a chance.
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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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Not a chance.

 

Why do you feel that way?

 

I'm kind of with you WRT safety because I don't know the guy more so than the expectation of sex.....

clia Established Member

clia

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I don't do the at home type dates with anyone for awhile -- at least six dates, if not more. I've frankly never understood the allure of the "let me cook you dinner" date. I'd much rather go out.

tbf Established Member

tbf

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Why do you feel that way?

 

I'm kind of with you WRT safety because I don't know the guy more so than the expectation of sex.....

When single, not much of a stranger dater so my concerns surround the expectation of sex or even heavy make out sessions. The second date is way too soon to get that intimate.
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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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A lot of men use the excuse of wanting to cook for you. Tell them you like barbecue and reserve one of the pits in your local park some Sunday afternoon.

crude Established Member

crude

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Why do you feel that way?

 

I'm kind of with you WRT safety because I don't know the guy more so than the expectation of sex.....

 

 

All the female posters here seem to equate going to his house as automatic sex, so they say the 2nd date is too soon. It's the same mindset as when they say if a woman asks a man out, it means she's desperate and wants sex, and of course he'll do her and immediately lose interest. Nonsensical ideas. Going to their home has nothing to do with sex. If a woman wants sex she can ask for it in any number of blatant ways, like grabbing and leading, sitting on the lap etc. A man with a brain in his head can distinguish between a date, eating at someone's home to get to know them better, and all out sexual desire. If the guy you're seeing is a sexist, neanderthal moron, then why even go out with him? If he's a modern, classy guy, the stereotypes and assumptions simply don't apply.

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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It depends. Is she a good cook? I'm not to picky, spaghetti works. Maybe some pot roast or what-have-you.

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yankees51988 Established Member

yankees51988

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I've got nothing against dinner/hanging out at my house or a girl's house for the first date, I'm comfortable doing so if I have at least met the person before/know them somehow/have had a conversation with and am a little interested in at least.

tbf Established Member

tbf

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All the female posters here seem to equate going to his house as automatic sex, so they say the 2nd date is too soon.
It's called not giving out mixed signals by being in a private place with someone you're newly dating. You know. Social cues, et al.
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yankees51988 Established Member

yankees51988

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Private place, public place, no difference. If they wanna bang they are going to find somewhere to hide in public or go back somewhere anyway. Dinner is dinner, if it leads to sex, well then it probably would have after dinner out too.

Skyraider829 Established Member

Skyraider829

Posted
Posted
Does it matter whether you met on line / at a bar / through friends?

 

For women - would you go over to a mans house for dinner on a 2nd date?

 

For men - would you go to a womans house for dinner on a 2nd date?

 

I'm a guy, and if I count our time spent together in terms of the number of dates, it would probably be more around the fourth or fifth date. But I may change my mind if I click with her really well and feel comfortable around her.

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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When single, not much of a stranger dater so my concerns surround the expectation of sex or even heavy make out sessions. The second date is way too soon to get that intimate.

 

This.

 

I don't go over to a guy's house for a date, or invite him to mine, until I'm ready to get horizontal in some fashion.

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crude Established Member

crude

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It's called not giving out mixed signals by being in a private place with someone you're newly dating. You know. Social cues, et al.

 

Maybe an over-reliance on social cues is responsible for the incidence of people being confused, left wondering, mulling it over in their heads, overthinking etc. Since when are social cues a replacement for honesty, common sense, and forthrightness? If a woman asks me over to her house for some food and a movie, that's all I assume it is. If someone is interested in more, they can express that any time, any place.

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tbf Established Member

tbf

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Posted
Maybe an over-reliance on social cues is responsible for the incidence of people being confused, left wondering, mulling it over in their heads, overthinking etc. Since when are social cues a replacement for honesty, common sense, and forthrightness? If a woman asks me over to her house for some food and a movie, that's all I assume it is. If someone is interested in more, they can express that any time, any place.
So you're suggesting that women should risk giving mixed or false signals just because they might not give mixed or false signals because social cues aren't definitive because WTF? There's zero benefit to having a guy over for dinner on the second date.

 

Your argument is spurious, to say the least.

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Maybe an over-reliance on social cues is responsible for the incidence of people being confused, left wondering, mulling it over in their heads, overthinking etc.

 

Reliance on social cues actually assists, it doesn't cause people to be confused, wonder, over-think, etc.

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todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

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Does it matter whether you met on line / at a bar / through friends?

 

For women - would you go over to a mans house for dinner on a 2nd date?

 

For men - would you go to a womans house for dinner on a 2nd date?

 

yes....because i would know them as friends first and trust they would respect me and my personal space.....i bite anyway...kidding.... i think something that makes women feel safer is if there is not just dinner for two and there is another person in the house at the time even if they arent in the room having dinner or joining in...it gives a more relaxed feeling.....but then maybe i am strange.....yep i am..... scratch that maybe...deb

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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I have. Always make sure you let someone know though that is close to you.

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