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Internet dating experience

Bluebelle38

By Bluebelle38
in Dating

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Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

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Not sure what you mean star gazer by pickings are slim? I have found that there are a lot of separated men around with children grown up that are looking for someone special. And I am using the messages and interest I have got online to substantiate that.

 

Then date THEM, not this guy.

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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Then date THEM, not this guy.

 

 

Oh I have. One said he was 44, on paper a real catch, total gentleman, the works, we met and he admitted he had a confession - he was 52.

 

The whole dating game has to be taken with a large pinch of salt! A very large pinch. :laugh::laugh:

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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It wasn't his c*ck. You couldn't see it...;) it was the torso and that general area!

MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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Seriously what is it with men and cock pics?

 

So gross. I wouldn't want one from my dude, let alone a perfect stranger. :sick:

 

Not really sure why you're going to see this guy. I would be SO turned off by that.

Sending a butt shot in return let him know she's up for the challenge. Yea, OP, he may make it to three dates, just enough to let you think he's 'invested'. Just don't forget condoms!

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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You don't know me so no need to make a comment like bring the condoms.

 

I have already said I wont be shagging anyone after just a few dates.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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You've allowed the guy to disrespect you, and after putting your foot down, now you're a challenge. He'll keep coming back until he gets what he wants, and then he'll move on. His initial actions towards you say it all; he wants to get laid. That is his priority.

I agree.

 

OP, what are you looking for? A relationship or casual fun? You say you want something "special". This guy is not treating you like anything special. At all.

 

If you're looking for a relationship, I think this guy's a dead end. If I were you, I'd just move on.

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MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

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I am sure he is out for sex, God knows I am as well. :laugh: It has been a while for me and I certainly find him attractive.

 

But I am not giving it up after 1, 2 or 3 dates with him or indeed any guy. I have made it clear to him that is not what is happening. I am very happy to wait for that till I feel a genuine connection with someone that I want to romantically date.

 

 

 

I'm sorry, I thought it was you who wrote the above? You really think you won't give it up after three dates if he says and does all the right things? Especially when you want it too?

 

 

Sorry, I have eight years of OLD under my belt, starting at age 42. I was simply advising you to be safe.

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SugarLips72 Established Member

SugarLips72

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Ive done online dating off and on since last year. I am 41. If this guy is willing to drive to you and you have made it clear no sex I would probably meet him. He could be just clueless that you dont send pics like that unless you want sex.

 

Last year I just seperated from my ex husband and put a match ad up. my head was still spinning but started texting this local guy. I was interested he was flirtatious then one day he sends me a naked pic. Totally turned me off. I deleted it but we still met up. He was alright..tall nice fit body was alright looking in the face not a knockout. He kissed me after our date and it was an awful kiss. He clearly did not know how to kiss so that turned me off anyways so I didnt see him again.

 

You dont have alot to lose by meeting him. Plan a short date in case he is not your type then you have an exit strategy.

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

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Is this what people do now? Send each other pics of their naughty bits before even meeting?

I did it once. Had to send a few though as it all wouldn't fit in one shot. After she got done putting the picture together like a puzzle the only response I got back was "wow". ;)

 

 

:lmao:

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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I agree.

 

OP, what are you looking for? A relationship or casual fun? You say you want something "special". This guy is not treating you like anything special. At all.

 

If you're looking for a relationship, I think this guy's a dead end. If I were you, I'd just move on.

 

I admitted I was wrong to him to send the pic back. It is not something I would do, but I did it. I told him I wanted to meet someone special and he said he does too. He said we had been chatting and did have a good connection/spark so he sent the message. He asked if we could forget about the pics and start over.

 

I have put it to him that sex is not on the agenda now or in the foreseeable. I have no problem with a kiss or cuddle, but I am not willing to just sleep with someone as I do not just want something casual, he said OK and is coming to meet me tonight knowing this.

 

I made that mistake too many times when I was younger. I felt if I didn't sleep with a guy fast enough he would lose interest. At my age now I am well aware how ridiculous a notion that is.

 

It may well be the only night we meet, either of us may decide we don't really like each other or fancy each other in the flesh. We may just be friends. Who knows.

 

I have met and chatted to all types on online dating. Yes, plenty of them only want one thing and there are plenty of women on there that offer that as well. I have made it clear I am not one of them. My last ONS was a long time ago and I don't intend on having anther again :)

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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Ive done online dating off and on since last year. I am 41. If this guy is willing to drive to you and you have made it clear no sex I would probably meet him. He could be just clueless that you dont send pics like that unless you want sex.

 

Last year I just seperated from my ex husband and put a match ad up. my head was still spinning but started texting this local guy. I was interested he was flirtatious then one day he sends me a naked pic. Totally turned me off. I deleted it but we still met up. He was alright..tall nice fit body was alright looking in the face not a knockout. He kissed me after our date and it was an awful kiss. He clearly did not know how to kiss so that turned me off anyways so I didnt see him again.

 

You dont have alot to lose by meeting him. Plan a short date in case he is not your type then you have an exit strategy.

 

I have nothing to lose. I fancy a night getting the glad rags on and hitting the town. I live a short walk from where we are meeting (5 mins) so I am not going out of my way.

 

We have spoken a few times on the phone since I put this post up. He has said he has not sent pics like that before. That he found me very attractive and after my response is not something he would ever do again. He does have a lovely physique and maybe wanted to show it off?? He has asked that we forget it and look forward to meeting up as we were earlier.

 

I said OK, I am not going to keep bringing it up. Will see what happens, but I am happy for a night out with an attractive man at any rate. I don't drink, so no chance of getting tipsy and losing run of myself either :laugh:

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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Are you aware of all the mixed signals you're sending this guy?

 

Yes, I am. He said it takes two to tango and I agreed 100% it was wrong of me to send a message back as it implies I was well up for something.

 

We spoke about that on the phone.

HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

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So why bother posting the question? You are getting very good advice but you have excuses for every one. It's ok to admit you think he's hot so basically it doesn't matter how disrespectful he is. He sent you these pics before even meeting you so you can be sure he is sending them and worse to every woman he's texting. Don't be gullible. Most of us have lived this and did the same thing you did, gave him the benefit of the doubt only to regret it later. Hey, some people have to learn the hard way. Don't be surprised when you meet him and he has a pot belly and eventually turns out to be a jerk. He will probably come off as respectful in person because most perverts don't have the guts to do these things in person. They hide behind a computer. Don't make being lonely and not having a date in a while cloud your judgement. Just make sure you stay safe and in areas with plenty of people.

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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Happylove, you and I have no idea what his long-term motives are, only he does.

 

Is it any different to a man that sleeps with a woman on the first date? Plenty of people do that and go on to have relationships/marriages with the person.

 

It is not a case that all people that do A are after B. Life is thankfully a bit more varied than that.

 

Having seen the photo, he does not have a beer gut, but anyways..... not all men that send pics use someone else's body. :)

HappyLove Established Member

HappyLove

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They may not use other people bodies but they sure know how to use old pictures. It seems your mind is set so all I can say is be safe and smart. Have a good time.

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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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I just don't want to be played. God knows I have met enough of them.

This is the comment we're all responding to.

 

If you want to play and be played, that's your business. Just as long as you own your decisions, whatever they may be.

 

This guy is obviously trying to get laid ASAP. YOU choose the pace.

 

So if you want to play, play. If you want "something special", take your time and get to know him.

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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They may not use other people bodies but they sure know how to use old pictures. It seems your mind is set so all I can say is be safe and smart. Have a good time.

 

I am sure some do that, but we joked on the phone that if either of us does not look like our pics then all bets are off. :)

 

I will be safe, thank you :)

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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Good for you, appreciate women with the above adult, accountable attitude, it's refreshing here. You both could have been caught up in meeting someone new and did something a little naughty you wouldn't normally do in the moment. This wasn't a c-shot btw. NBD IMO.

 

The question you ask in your OP, of course it's possible, anything is possible at this point, including any possible interpretations of his and your actions. You are doing the right thing in finding out face-to-face. If the date is a negative experience, you learn from it, if positive, who knows? Its just a date.

 

In the future, suggest limiting the contact before meeting in person, that way such misunderstandings and doubts don't arise. But some of the handwringing in the thread is premature. Good luck and let us know how things go.

 

Thanks for your message.

 

I am meeting him because he asked me to, because he said sending pics like that is not who he is and that he got caught up in the excitement of being very attracted to someone and them finding him attractive and the excitement of it.

 

It is feasible, of course.

 

I am looking forward to meeting him - after everything has happened, I don't feel nervous at all as we was have talked a lot about it.

 

Regardless of whether he sent a pic or not, he may or may not be out for just one thing. Plenty of people don't send pics and have a ONS on the agenda. I think we have to look at the individual situation and person and the circumstances before we all jump to conclusions and write someone off as a pervert.

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FitChick Established Member

FitChick

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How convenient for him you live only five minutes away from where you are meeting. Easy to make an excuse to see where you live and then, "Oh, I am too drunk to drive. You wouldn't want me to get arrested, would you?" If you met him during the day, he wouldn't have the excuse of "It's so late..."

 

Get the name of a cheap hotel near you and reserve a room for him just in case. Make sure you won't get charged if you cancel the same night.

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StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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Ok, so I need a bit ofadvice if that is OK.

 

I am 40 and recently started internet dating. I have been on a few dates, nothing special, but I got chatting to a guy who is 34, single now, but has 2 kids. That does not bother me at all.

 

So we are chatting away and I am thinking God, he is gorgeous. He tells me he loves my pics and we agree to meet upin a week's time. He then asksif I am free for a walk on the Sunday before the planned date, which is Thursday eve. I have stuff on so decline.

 

He calls me and we have a good chat and both admit to looking forward to meeting up. Then it happens.... he sends me a pic, semi naked and says he feels comfortable doing it. I was kind of shocked but laughed it off and sent him a bum shot, you can't see anything, jus the shape.

 

In hindsight this was a very stupid thing to do as he then sent another. I told him I feel uncomfortable and wont be sending anymore.

 

he said it is exciting and will add to the meet-up. He said he has NEVER on his life sent a pic like that to anyone but he feels comfortable sending it to me and is incredibly attracted to me. He asks again and I say no yet he still says he is looking forward to the date.

 

I message him I think we want different things, that I want to meet someone special and I think he want something more casual. He replies, that no, he wants to meet someone special too.

 

Is it possible this guy is just totally clueless after being in a relationship 13 years and single 2 years? Is it possible a man thinks a woman would actually be turned on by this stuff?

 

He has also sent me normal pics and one of him with his little girls. I just don't want to be played. God knows I have met enough of them.

 

The first part is disturbing enough. Put it with the second part and this really creeps me out.

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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How convenient for him you live only five minutes away from where you are meeting. Easy to make an excuse to see where you live and then, "Oh, I am too drunk to drive. You wouldn't want me to get arrested, would you?" If you met him during the day, he wouldn't have the excuse of "It's so late..."

 

Get the name of a cheap hotel near you and reserve a room for him just in case. Make sure you won't get charged if you cancel the same night.

 

Oh God, I am not booking a hotel for a grown man. If he needs somewhere to stay, he can do it himself.

 

We were going to meet Sunday morning but I had plans, think I mentioned that. I said I prefe rmeeting in the evening as there is less pressure if there are people out and about.

 

I chose the venue as I don't drive and it is easy for me to walk home from.

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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The first part is disturbing enough. Put it with the second part and this really creeps me out.

 

Really? Oh, OK.

 

We talked about his kids on the phone so I was not bothered he sent a pic of them to me. Plenty of people have pics of their kids on their dating site profiles, he doesn't, so he wanted to show them.

StanMusial Established Member

StanMusial

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Really? Oh, OK.

 

We talked about his kids on the phone so I was not bothered he sent a pic of them to me. Plenty of people have pics of their kids on their dating site profiles, he doesn't, so he wanted to show them.

 

Well if that's what people do then that's what they do. I mean a grown-@ss man with kids and he sends sexy time photos over the internet? I guess I'm just behind the times. :sick:

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Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

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Honey this is way too much too fast. Pics of his kids and his naked torso before you've even met?

 

Do you not see how the lack of boundaries here is a little disturbing? You are a stranger to him.

 

I do hear you. I suppose being on the dating site and seeing so many profiles with kids proudly posted on them, I am somewhat immune to it. Is it any worse than someone having loads of pics on their social networking sites of their children? We had been talking on the phone about then and I had asked about them so I am not going to write him off over that.

 

The naked torso he admitted was silly and he regrets. I am only meeting him for a date, I am not doing anything else. If I think he is a loser, no harm done, I leave. :)

RedRobin Established Member

RedRobin

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Sounds like you got it all together...

 

What was your question again??

 

As for me, I really don't care what you do... However, it is a bit annoying when some women tell guys "oh, I would never do that"... then go ahead and do just that.

 

It just kind of plays into the BS stereotypes that the PUA types here love to toss around.

 

Seems more straightforward to stop making a lot of proclamations about your chastity or what you will or won't do. Would probably help you and the guys you meet as well.

 

It is more clear cut to just say what you are looking for ONCE... then after that, you show them with your actions. My actions with a guy like that MIGHT include sex, but since I'm looking for a committed relationship, I'd just dump him afterward. Because I wouldn't want a relationship with a guy who sends pics like that to a stranger.

 

*shrug*

 

OTOH, I can't imagine even a ONS with a guy that uncreative and tacky could be fun at all... never mind... I wouldn't meet him.

 

...but yea, do whatever.

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