Dude420 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 It's been 3 months now since I've dated this girl. We enjoy spending time with each other and haven't fought yet. Each time I asked her to hang out she always said yes, and if not that day, she'll arrange another day. We are also very affectionate to each other. Everything has been going well between us, until now. This is the first time I've ever been this far with a girl and we're super comfortable with each other, so I've decided to come up with the topic about us being official. The thing is, I'm new to this and I think I screwed up that chat as I picked an awkward moment to do this and was really nervous and ended up choking. I basically just asked if she wanted to be with me and if she thought we could take this further into a relationship. Without hesitation, she said yes and so we became official, I think. Fast forward a couple of days later, at work she was completely ignoring me. When I tried to get her attention, she only said a couple of words without even bothering to look at me. I thought later maybe she was being discreet, the next day, I was thinking about what had happened, then I realized that she must have been upset because of the talk. I sent her a text later that night saying "Hey, I was just thinking about you, can we take a walk after work tomorrow?", she ignored... Another day has passed, we both work the same shift, she's talking to me during lunch time but is still cold, as in not jolly to see me or smiling. I sensed in my gut that something was wrong, so I asked her if she wanted to take a short walk to the park after work, she replied with a genuine "no", I asked why, she replied "I only slept 2 hours" (it certainly didn't look that way). Then I asked, "well how about if we just hang out for a bit tomorrow", then she said "we can arrange something" and then I said "ok, sounds good". After work, I sent her a text about just grabbing a coffee and going to the park or something. Next day, no reply whatsoever I'm really starting to see that's she's just flat out ignoring me and when I see her at work, giving excuses to avoid me, but then I don't know, I'm not a bloody mind reader. I figured that she was probably upset with me because perhaps I didn't express my feelings for her or something and that I just wanted to get the official talk out of the way. The truth is, I want to see her because I want to continue talking about this to her, about how I truly feel about her (no not "I love you"), but she's not letting me. I think she's being immature about this, she is shy after all so maybe she doesn't know what to do and goes with the "avoid at all costs" tactic. Should I just ignore her and give her space, or should I confront her about her actions? I'm getting frustrated here.
Author Dude420 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 First of all Dude, people have emotions that have nothing to do with you. And assuming it's about you is, well, selfcentered. Now that that's over. She's ignoring you and isn't sharing what's wrong even though now you guys are "exclusive", or "together"??? Back off. If it means something to her she'll open up. If she doesn't then it seems your maturity levels simply don't match up. I half expected a post like this, like I said, this is the first time I've gone far with someone. I expect mistakes will happen and I will be anxious. I'm not perfect and I just don't want to screw this up as she's such a great girl. I'm not being self-centered, but is it wrong to assume that it could be about us when she acts the way she is right after we had the exclusive talk? That's why I'm asking if I should just give her space for now as you clearly pointed out. I would want to confront her, but I'm afraid it'll probably make things worse, I'm just basically looking for second opinions.
Author Dude420 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Oh ok thanks then, sometimes it's hard to tell what people are really trying to say on the internet.
Lansing Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 My spin on things... You were maybe both viewing this as a totally different situation?? Like, you said "dating"... What do you define as dating. Were you guys intimate? I mean, some people could think hanging out with someone is dating even if not kissing/intimacy. Not to be blunt, but were you guys physical in anyway? I am just asking because you said you weren't very experienced. Maybe you were hanging out with her and she thought you guys were friends and now you have told her about all of your "feelings" and she is shocked/backing away. If you guys are intimate and actually dating, maybe she was a bit overwhelmed by your feelings if you haven't been telling her about them all along or maybe she feels you are a lot more into her then she is you. I would back off a bit as well. Just let her get in touch with you to hang out again. My last gf started backing away, she would text all of the time before/etc. I guess she just decided there wasn't a future with us and I had been debating the same thing for a while (I felt like I was more into her then she was me). Well, eventually she said she wanted to stop by to "talk" and I knew what that meant.
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