Falling hard, overthinking things?

[Stay]

Ok so this girl I've been talking to came out and confessed her feelings for me, she seems to be very into me. We hung out a few times and I'm finding myself falling very hard for her. At the moment it's nothing serious and we both agreed not to rush into things.

 

Is it normal that I find myself worried about messing it up? I feel like I'm starting to worry too much instead of enjoying it for what it is, this might pass since it only started recently. I'm worrying about things like hopefully I'm not contacting her so much, we have been texting more and more everyday but if she doesn't reply or takes a while to reply I'll just leave her alone since she's busy which I totally understand, same goes for me as sometimes I can't reply to her. I find myself wanting to hang out with her more and more which is probably normal also but we live about an hour away so it's not as easy to just simply go out. I would like to hang out once every week but we've only been only talking for about 2 months so I don't want to push it either but I know that she has had something for me for a very long time, probably years.

 

Just wanting some advice since i've been out of this dating situation for a very long time, recently got out of a long term relationship about 7 months ago. She really makes me feel special, I don't think I've had anyone ever been so forward with me and so into me. Also she seems to really want to hang out with me, probably just as much as I do. What is considered rushing into things or taking it slow? What do girls usually think when they say they don't want to rush into things? Are they not sure if they want to be with you? Any advices will be appreciated

[farva2]

In my experience, if a girl says something along the lines of taking it slow or they're not ready for a relationship then that just means they're not in ready to be in a relationship with YOU. If she likes you then she'll be really eager to see talk, and hang out with you. If she said shes into you then you're probably good just be cool, confident, and don't get clingy.

[Stay]

In my experience, if a girl says something along the lines of taking it slow or they're not ready for a relationship then that just means they're not in ready to be in a relationship with YOU. If she likes you then she'll be really eager to see talk, and hang out with you. If she said shes into you then you're probably good just be cool, confident, and don't get clingy.

 

 

Well in this situation I think it's pretty obvious that she is very into me and I feel like I'm getting there also so what does not rush into things mean? What i'm reading it as is she doesn't want to jump into another relationship and make the same mistake of moving too quick and breaking up.

[GI_Joy]

Well in this situation I think it's pretty obvious that she is very into me and I feel like I'm getting there also so what does not rush into things mean? What i'm reading it as is she doesn't want to jump into another relationship and make the same mistake of moving too quick and breaking up.

 

I think you're reading it right, and it's normal to feel anxious and worry about messing things up. It's the first special thing you've experienced from a girl in a while. She wants to pace the relationship, it seems, and that's not a bad thing. If that's the case then she does seem to feel seriously about you. But obviously, you can only wait for so long. If you start feeling like you're losing yourself trying to maintain this "relationship" with her then you'll have to evaluate whether it's worth it.

[Philosoraptor]

Take a step back and stop thinking so much. The only thing overthinking does is overthink you out of any chances with this person.

 

Just be patient and do what feels right. If what feels right for you, feels right for her... then great. If doing what comes natural doesn't work with her, then she wasn't a good match for you anyways.

[Stay]

I think you're reading it right, and it's normal to feel anxious and worry about messing things up. It's the first special thing you've experienced from a girl in a while. She wants to pace the relationship, it seems, and that's not a bad thing. If that's the case then she does seem to feel seriously about you. But obviously, you can only wait for so long. If you start feeling like you're losing yourself trying to maintain this "relationship" with her then you'll have to evaluate whether it's worth it.

 

Don't get me wrong, the relationship is going.. we talk and converse everyday and it goes great. This girl is really into me. We are super flirty to a point it's crazy how comfortable we are. I'm just going with the flow but at the same time it's a little scary. I'm just being myself and she seriously seem to like it. I'll want to hang out and she'll make a lot of efforts to see me fast. I take it as a very good sign but the only part that worries me is taking it slow but it could be a good thing as rushing is bad most of the time.

 

Take a step back and stop thinking so much. The only thing overthinking does is overthink you out of any chances with this person.

 

Just be patient and do what feels right. If what feels right for you, feels right for her... then great. If doing what comes natural doesn't work with her, then she wasn't a good match for you anyways.

 

 

You're right and I'm pretty sure I do overthink as I tend to do that a lot. I'm just being myself and she seems to like it, we really flow together. I'm just scared but I don't know what of.

[henderson14]

Not rushing into things means don't put ANY pressure on her. Treat it like a friendship. Invite her to hang out on weekends with friends and just have fun with her. Don't make her feel like your trying to get a relationship with her and she will eventually fall for you if she is ready or not. Only take a step toward a relationship as you see small signs that she is feeling more comfortable with it. Make steps with her, not ahead of her.

[todreaminblue]

I am the type of woman who when I fall, fall deep, the guy i am into can hardly do wrong, for that reason I take it slow and i am glad i hardly ever fall.....feelings i feel for a guy dont go away they may change and shift but once they are there they stay another reason why i take it slow in the beginning.....

 

i date friends......always have and it works for me...we have already spent time together they know me i know them natural progression....there isnt any dissetnion abotu how much time is too much time.or shoudl i phone or not.....the guy i am with normally knows ihe can call em anytime he wants to and again if i am busy i say so......and he knows it to be true....seems so easy to me......its whenever they want to see me i see them...if i am too busy or have plans i let them know...i dont push for guys to see me...but i like pretty regular contact i would never say that ...and i havent had to .....because they know me they know that i do....soem guys think that a woman who wants to hear from a someoen she is dating often is clingy....its not always true.....a woman who wants to talk and see a guy often is not clingy...she likes him and enjoys tiem with him....as she probably enjoys time with many she is close too same goes for guys....

 

 

 

 

women shouldn't believe guys are clingy because they want to spend time with the person they care about....does that seem logical.....

 

 

i am not clingy if a guy were to tell me sorry deb i have friends over tonight can we go out another night or can we change plans i have someone i need to go see who need some help or i want to go out with a mate tonight needs cheering up or havent spent time with him ....i would not mind at all..i would smile and say have fun or ill talk to you later we set something else up then......i think its important to maintain friendships and responsibilities......i think you should however, be able to see or talk to the person you are interested in, when you feel like it..when you want and need to ...why shouldnt you be able to?...and if they are busy then they should feel they can say so...so simple.....and a lot of fun to be had in simplicity alot more can be had when its simple.....rather than complex and obscure..........deb

[Stay]

Update: So things are going well we hang out and have great nights but I think I find myself texting her too much? Or at least I think. We do have our deep conversations and times where we talk like no tomorrow then there are times where she seems busy and just replies to me. Is it normal to expect her to text me a lot or the first thing she does in the morning is text me or I text her, good morning, etc.? I feel like I'm coming on too strong? Personally I know I tend to think about things too much and that's a problem I wish I didn't have. At first she was really into me and now it still seems like she is but if you're so into a person isn't the only thing you want is to talk to them? (Again this is me overthinking) I do understand there are busy times and each person has their own life but I find myself wondering why she isn't texting me like I want to text her. I don't do it because I don't want to be bothersome and don't want to come off as clingy. It's not anything like we haven't texted for days but I'm just wondering what is going through her mind.

 

 

I find me blaming myself on things like oh, I must have said something or done something that is turning her off or she dislikes when in reality it probably isn't even like that. We're getting fairly comfortable, we have kissed already and I'm not trying to push a relationship or anything... Just having fun and taking it one day at a time. I'm the type of person that likes to express what I felt during the kiss, etc. and I expressed it and she was curious but didn't say much back(which I don't expect) but it almost felt cold. I don't expect certain responses but I would think girls get all excited to hear that from a guy.

 

 

I don't want to become a guy that bothers her all the time by texting her and so that's where I don't know the fine line, we've been talking everyday but like I said I don't want to always initiate.. Yet I wanna be real and not play games like wait for her to text first, but maybe sometimes I have to do that? I'm not clingy as in oh, I don't want you to hang out with that person because you can't hang out with me. But I think i'm a little clingy on wishing she would talk to me like no other which she was in the beginning but now it seemed to have switched roles? I'm finding myself wanting to talk like how she talked in the beginning towards me.

 

 

 

I'm kinda rambling on about nothing now, but I was thinking maybe this is the infatuation phase disappearing?

Edited September 2, 2013 by Stay

[FemmeMystere]

I think you need to relax and stop over-analyzing the situation. Like you, my guy says he doesn’t want to “bug “me by texting constantly. To be honest, I like him so much at this point, it would be difficult to feel “bugged” by him. Whenever a girl who’s really into you gets a call or text, her eyes sparkle and she hopes it’s you. Her entire face lights up when she sees your name in her inbox, and she probably smiles too. Contact her more. Don’t play “aloof”– it can hurt feelings and come across as disinterest. Which will likely turn her off. I quickly lose interest if a guy consistently acts like he isn't into me, even if he's just "playing it cool." I can't tell the difference.

 

I wouldn’t worry so much about "messing things up." It seems like you're letting your insecurity get the best of you, and she can probably sense that. You don't need to fear losing the relationship. Continue to be kind and thoughtful, but also keep in mind that you were surviving just fine before you met her. Focus on enjoying the relationship, and continue to live your life when you're apart. If it turns out that she can't give you the attention that you need, then she may not be the one for you.

[Stay]

I think you need to relax and stop over-analyzing the situation. Like you, my guy says he doesn’t want to “bug “me by texting constantly. To be honest, I like him so much at this point, it would be difficult to feel “bugged” by him. Whenever a girl who’s really into you gets a call or text, her eyes sparkle and she hopes it’s you. Her entire face lights up when she sees your name in her inbox, and she probably smiles too. Contact her more. Don’t play “aloof”– it can hurt feelings and come across as disinterest. Which will likely turn her off. I quickly lose interest if a guy consistently acts like he isn't into me, even if he's just "playing it cool." I can't tell the difference.

 

I wouldn’t worry so much about "messing things up." It seems like you're letting your insecurity get the best of you, and she can probably sense that. You don't need to fear losing the relationship. Continue to be kind and thoughtful, but also keep in mind that you were surviving just fine before you met her. Focus on enjoying the relationship, and continue to live your life when you're apart. If it turns out that she can't give you the attention that you need, then she may not be the one for you.

 

Yea, on her days off she's usually hanging with friends or family but I don't want to make it seem like I'm giving off the vibe of constantly wondering what she's doing that's why it seems like she's not responsive to me when she's busy with others. But I'm just over thinking about that. I'm not at a point where I feel comfortable asking what she's doing so I don't, instead I just leave her alone and let her enjoy herself. She seems to respond in the same manner with a lot of joy and happiness. I just find myself falling very hard for her and that's why I start to wonder and think when she takes a while to reply, I know she's busy and has her thing that's why I know this isn't a big deal. I've been out of the whole dating thing for a while so I'm just worried for myself.

 

I'm trying to find that perfect medium because on her days where she's working we converse endlessly but her days off she's either hanging out with me or other people so I don't know where that happy medium is at yet. Maybe that's why I don't know if I'm texting her too much or too little, etc. I'll try to enjoy it for what it is, worrying about it isn't going to help.