banditkitty2001 Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, and have been living with him for 1 year. He has 2 teenagers, has been married twice before and when the subject of marriage comes up, he either says "We'll see" or "we're working on it"! What does this mean? is he just a chicken or am i wasting my time? He is 41 and I am 35. I personally have never been married and would love to be married one day! HELP!
bluechocolate Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 "We'll see" or "we're working on it"! What does this mean? Ask him - he's the only one who knows. I personally have never been married and would love to be married one day! Tell him that. Only you can decide how long you're willing to wait for marriage with this guy. It may just be that he never wants to get married again so decide if you're willing to wait, how long you're willing to wait & then have a serious conversation with him about it. Forcing the issue may end the relationship but I'm sure you're aware of that risk.
HappyInNJ Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 Hi Banditkitty, I got married when I was 20 the first time. It didn't work out, and we drifted apart, eventually divorcing. I knew I was too young to not get married again (because I liked the idea of settling down, and having someone to always be with) 2 years single and dating, I decided I wanted to be with someone. I was ready. I was 28, and when I met my (now) wife, she was 34, and never married. She had been in long relationships that went nowhere, and by this time she knew what she wanted. So on our first date she said to me and I quote" Look, I want to know if you are interested in getting married and having children" (not asking me to marry her, but seeing where I was at that point in my life). After I took in what she said, I then thought, here is a woman who knows what she wants and does not want to waste time getting what she needs. So I said, yes, I would like that. And she said, o.k. we can go out then. Of course 3 months later I proposed, and within 10 months, we were were married. (Just celebrated our 10 year anniversary). We have two beautiful, healthy daughters; one born when she was 36 and one when she was 38. My point to this whole story is this; if you know what you want, don't be shy in going about getting it. My wife is very direct by nature, but I have to say, that I really respected her for that. If it scared me away, then it would not have been meant to be. I think your boyfriend (rightfully so) is a bit hesitiant to go through marriage again (after all divorce ruined me financially, and he went through it twice), but probably does not reflect on his feelings towards you. Look; I am sure you want to be married, and have children. It's still possible at 35, but if you end up in a long term relationship that does not lead to marriage, you may be cheating yourself out of one of life's greatest gifts. That's just my take on the issue. Good luck!
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