The perfect thing ended, why?

[CBKBM]

I can't believe I actually joined a relationship forum, but I can't handle being this alone and this sad, and I'm so hoping that random internet hugs will help. Even if just a little. Because this feeling is pretty unbearable.

 

A few days ago, after nearly two amazing years, he just ended things. He couldn't offer me any real explanation. He said he loved me, that I was perfect, I didn't do anything wrong, that I was the best person he ever knew, he was worried he was making a big mistake, and that there was still chemistry and attraction, but he just felt something was wrong and didn't want to continue down the path. He cried, I cried (made a pretty pitiful scene actually), but there was no anger or hateful words.

 

I'm just totally blindsided. Last weekend everything was fine and we were talking about the future. Everything has always been fine. Not just fine--wonderful. It has always been wonderful. We are just so compatible. Everyone thought we were perfect together. I thought we were perfect together. We never fought. The sex was good. I loved his friends and family. They all said I made him happy. The relationship always felt good and wonderful and right. I could talk to him about anything and everything. Perhaps the most meaningful aspect was that I could be 100% myself around him. I've never had that gift in other relationships--I've always changed myself to fit the needs of the guy. But not with him. This was the first real, honest, adult relationship I've had. The first relationship where I felt comfortable and loved instead of anxious and uncertain. I was completely me and he loved that. I thought.

 

I just cannot imagine a life without him. And now I'm analyzing our entire relationship trying to find the holes. Where did I go wrong? What signs did I miss? What should I have done differently? What about me wasn't worth fighting for? Why couldn't I make him happier?

 

I'm thinking of all those times I should have called and didn't, should have talked about him instead of me, should have worn makeup instead of sweats, should have insisted we go out instead of sit around and watch tv, should have told him I loved him, should have showed him I loved him, should have made more time for him. He said it was none of things, but I can't help but think that on a subconscious level, all of those things probably piled up to create a perfect storm of dissatisfaction, even if he doesn't realize it.

 

I feel like I screwed up the most important thing in my life.

 

I am so hurt and upset and confused. I can't do this. I can't imagine life without him. I know I can't change his mind and I have to accept his decisions. The rational side of me knows that, but the emotional side just wants him back. I want him to realize what a mistake he made and come back to me. At the very least I want a reason I can wrap my head around.

 

I just don't know what to do or how to get through the day. How the heck am I supposed to function at work tomorrow?

 

Sorry for the novel...

[Soat]

This is so sad to read. It must suck for you. He's a moron. Remember all this pain he's put you in when he comes running back to you begging forgiveness and to take him back.

[todreaminblue]

i give hugs.......((((((hugs))))))))

 

 

I don't know why perfect things have to end........I think maybe because relationships are never perfect..because thw two that are needed for a relationship to be, are always imperfect ...and expectations of perfection are a short road to nowhere...

 

 

On the surface of the ocean we know it can appear calm,inviting, serene tranquil, ripples of deep blue, but, underneath the surface a great white can be ripping apart a fur seal, although you never actually see it...the blood rises to the surface too late to stop it....too late to change it, even if we wanted to.....and that blood then seeps out to change the whole surface fo the water not so inviting anymore........

 

 

from what i know when a person worries if they are making a big mistake.....they normally are...but they make it anyway, powerless to stop a ever moving ever changing tide of thought....they eventually try and return....to the best person they have ever been with, someone good who really doesn't need to be messed around any more because he or she moved on or plan to, and it may eb at a time where you feel really vulnerable or in need of just that hug from soemone whose arms you adored........so i feel he may contact you in the near future.......and he will be that perfect guy and offerign to go back to that perfect relationship everybody else thought as perfect......please see above for ocean and great white analogy before you take him back......i wish you well as i go through something similar....i hope we both remember.....what used to be is probably not what should ever be again.....that is why relationships end...they arent meant to be..deb

[Waynester]

So so sorry you are in pain, but you are amongst friends here, & while we cannot fix things for you..we can try & support you with understanding words & virtual hugs. ((()))

 

So he has given no reason..a real reason that is? I know this may be painful to hear, but have you considered he may have met someone else? I so hope not, just so you avoid that very worst pain of all..rejection for another.

Has his behaviour changed in any small way.. online more.. more secretive use of his phone?

 

Whatever the eventual reason, & if this is permanent (I hope not for you)...remember & never forget your own very important value & worth! You deserve honesty & respect from him right now!

Also..& this may be a little way off & not something you are even thinking about.. you deserve happiness & love from someone who is prepared..& 'wants' to give this to you for always.

Someone who will love you..just as you have described, but...even more so, & until you are both old & grey.

Sadly this man may not be your soul partner..even if you thought he was. Which means, the guy for you is still out there. And he will be looking for you! When you're ready..you will find him, & he will find you. A whole new chapter of your life is before you..waiting.

 

I hope everything works out as you want, but if it doesnt..& you need a hand to stand straight..we can listen here, & hopefully help..even if just a little.

[Soat]

i give hugs.......((((((hugs))))))))

 

 

I don't know why perfect things have to end........I think maybe because relationships are never perfect..because thw two that are needed for a relationship to be, are always imperfect ...and expectations of perfection are a short road to nowhere...

 

 

On the surface of the ocean we know it can appear calm,inviting, serene tranquil, ripples of deep blue, but, underneath the surface a great white can be ripping apart a fur seal, although you never actually see it...the blood rises to the surface too late to stop it....too late to change it, even if we wanted to.....and that blood then seeps out to change the whole surface fo the water not so inviting anymore........

 

 

from what i know when a person worries if they are making a big mistake.....they normally are...but they make it anyway, powerless to stop a ever moving ever changing tide of thought....they eventually try and return....to the best person they have ever been with, someone good who really doesn't need to be messed around any more because he or she moved on or plan to, and it may eb at a time where you feel really vulnerable or in need of just that hug from soemone whose arms you adored........so i feel he may contact you in the near future.......and he will be that perfect guy and offerign to go back to that perfect relationship everybody else thought as perfect......please see above for ocean and great white analogy before you take him back......i wish you well as i go through something similar....i hope we both remember.....what used to be is probably not what should ever be again.....that is why relationships end...they arent meant to be..deb

 

 

This is beautiful. Where is this analogy from?

[Dzlez]

I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. I've been there and it sucks a lot. He left you without giving any reason, he doesn't deserve a lady like you. I suggest you don't take him back (if he comes back). Now, learn from the experience and focus on yourself, stay busy, try something new. Don't just sit in your room and think about him all the time because that will break you. I promise you, you will find someone who will treat and love you BETTER. Hang in there, you will be okay

[todreaminblue]

This is beautiful. Where is this analogy from?

 

 

 

it is mine......from me to you......i am a poet....part time bohemian poet, not very good..but i do like that analogy it is yours..words sent from above probably .....meant for you....smilin atcha....deb

[keepontruckin]

We live in a disposable society nowadays, and I'm seeing more and more of this disposable attitude transfer itself into relationships also. Nothing is fixed anymore. Things are just thrown out. The marriage success rate is appalling.

 

CBKBM, stop beating yourself up. You are whom you are, and you seem like a good person. Whatever problems you perceive there were, are inconsequential at this point.

 

He left, and without any real reason. To hell with him. And even if there was a reason, it would make no difference. You may not want to even know the real reason, like if he's banging a coworker...

 

Now, here's how you proceed. You don't contact him for anything except business. You FOCUS on your job, because at this point your job is more important than him, believe it or not. If he comes crawling back, you'll have your opportunity for serious discussion. If he doesn't, time is the key to your success.

[clairedunham]

There must be something in the back of your head saying the r/s wasnt right

[Sparkle304]

I feel for you! I have no idea what propels people to act the way they do.

 

You stated that he talked about a future with you, but maybe he just can't see himself settling down anytime soon and he freaked out.

 

Maybe he thinks he doesn't deserve you. In other words, he can't give you what you deserve.

 

Possibly he's feeling completely overwhelmed with life at the moment.

 

Be gentle with yourself. I've been there too. I've spent many many hours and days trying to find ways that I messed it up: I should've cooked for him more often, I should've dressed more sporty (cuz he likes that), I should've been less silly. The list is endless....and it's pointless. You will drive yourself into a depression if you let those thoughts rule you. You did nothing wrong!! You didn't cheat, abuse drugs/alcohol, give him an ultimatum. Those are relationship breakers. Any other things such as not wearing make up, or watching tv too often or cooking terrible food are part of being human and most rational boyfriends do not kill a relationship over these things. And if he did, you wouldn't want him anyway!!

 

Try writing down your thoughts and feelings. Write him a letter explaining your confusion (you may choose not to send it). Talk to friends and family - do not be alone! Just having someone sit on the couch with you can be comforting. My mom spent many hours doing this with me. And please try to eat something!!

 

There will be contact in the next few days...and that will be a difficult conversation. Everyone makes mistakes. But please do not discount the fact that he's stated that something is just wrong and he can't move forward with you. Will you ever really be able to forget those words? LISTEN TO WHAT HE IS TELLING YOU.

 

As for going to work tomorrow.....it's gonna be a tough one. Take a deep breath and realize that you WILL get through the day (even if that means crying in the bathroom).

 

And remember, you are not powerless. You do have some control here. It takes two people to be in a relationship. He's chosen his actions, and now you have a choice as to how to react. You know you're an awesome person so please try to maintain minimal contact. You do not EVER want to beg and plead and cry to get a man to want you. You are far too good for that!!!

 

Keep posting......

[keepontruckin]

Ya, never beg, plead or cry.

 

I made that mistake, because I didn't know any better at the time. Also, don't get angry at him either, like I did with my wife after she left, because that won't help either. I tried all tactics known to man, and they didn't work.

 

Business only, as emotionally driven conversations don't work if one party has checked out.

 

And be well aware that if he needs to contact you, he can and will find a way. Just don't expect it.

[CBKBM]

I did the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do. I caved. I called, begged, pleaded, apologized, cried, bargained, groveled, demanded answers, and said pitiful things about how much I was hurting. The entire time I could tell how ugly and unfair and pathetic I was being, but I couldn’t stop. I just wanted to keep talking because I couldn’t bring myself to hang up the phone, an action that would finalize that it was actually over. As long as I was talking, I was talking to *him*, and I couldn’t make myself stop. He was gracious and understanding, and let me talk myself out, although I’m sure he was annoyed. I’d be. No real answers. Just the same refrain of “I’m sorry,” “I wish you weren’t hurting,” and “It was nothing you did.” The only extra tidbit I got was that when he envisioned his future, he didn’t like the path he was on. It didn’t feel right. He couldn’t explain what feeling he WAS looking for, just that he didn’t think this was it. Maybe there’s more. Maybe he’s lying to me to spare my feelings. I don’t know. He didn’t say much, even when I begged for him to share his thought process.

 

 

Of course, now I’m paranoid that I’ve ruined any chance of reconciliation with my call. Not that that was likely, but my ridiculous imagination is thinking “What if he was just about to call and say sorry? What if he just needed a few days to miss you? What if he was just processing his feelings? You just ruined everything by calling. You just totally validated that you’re crazy and pitiful. Now he doesn’t even respect you, let alone want to be with you. You just annoyed him, bored him, and pushed him further away.” Why why why why did I call?

 

 

 

My ridiculous imagination is thinking all sorts of things…

 

 

…what if this is karma? What if I failed some sort of cosmic relationship test and this is my punishment?

…maybe if I wish hard enough at 11:11 or 12:34, he’ll change his mind.

…what if he randomly comes across my post, realizes it’s about him, and is so mortified by the fact that I’m posting my emotions and problems on an online forum, that he loses all positive feelings for me? Ugh, the thought of him reading this makes me cringe.

 

 

 

I feel delusional and crazy. I can’t sleep, I’m sick to my stomach, I can’t eat. I’m trying to come up with any answer and reason and justification at all, anything to make sense of why I’m hurting so bad. I can’t stomach the idea that this is *it* and there’s no more *us*. I’m also driving myself crazy wondering how long he’s felt this way, and why he couldn’t mention his anxiety before when it first cropped up—maybe if he spoke up, I could have fixed it? (He says he can’t pinpoint when the feeling started.) It makes me feel a little sick to think that I was ignorantly part of this relationship charade while he wanted out. How many days, weeks, or months was he just going through the motions, secretly wanting me gone? God, I can’t handle that thought. If only I had known, there would be so many things I would and could have changed.

 

 

 

I feel so down on myself for taking the relationship for granted…for comfortably coasting on it when I should have been actively nourishing it.

[todreaminblue]

…what if this is karma? What if I failed some sort of cosmic relationship test and this is my punishment?

…maybe if I wish hard enough at 11:11 or 12:34, he’ll change his mind.

…what if he randomly comes across my post, realizes it’s about him, and is so mortified by the fact that I’m posting my emotions and problems on an online forum, that he loses all positive feelings for me? Ugh, the thought of him reading this makes me cringe.

 

 

 

karma supposedly happens to people who are bad......not inherantly good...people who hurt others...i believe if karma were real that would not include you....

 

it wont happen by wishing.......not at 11.11 not at 12.34 or any other time.......but i know that for some people,prayer can comfort you give you a sense of peace...works for me.......

 

 

i often wonder what would happen if the guy i had an interest in, read what i have posted on here, all my history, my goofy comments to other posters.....my stupid poetry .........read what i dont come out and say....or share so easily.........i decided you know what........ill just move to africa my youngest daughter is up for it...smilin...just have to convince the rest of my family..;0)

 

 

 

 

what can you honestly do if he were to read your posts, hold it against yourself because you are hurt..move to zimbabwe...sounds a cool idea lets go trekkin.....kidding

 

 

...deb is my real name......it wouldnt be too hard to put it together to out me..i have had worse things happen to me....i have been isolated before and ridiculed.....i am still here.....so if i can get through worse..i can get through someone who thinks i suck even if it hurts to know the person thinks you are a fruit loop or finds you not to their liking because of personal history you have divulged...thats what most of this board is history and varying degrees of history .....like an hour ago to two years ago to ten eyars ago would it honestly be the first time for you someone judged you unfairly?..you survive and find someone a little more understanding of your feelings and a bit less judgmental on what you decide to share due to distress..... ..........hugs to ya....deb

[beyond]

I feel for you, I really do. It's a horrible gut wrenching sick feeling, your whole world feels like it's been turned upside down.

 

I know your imagination is running riot just now, but please STOP with the negative thoughts about yourself and what you could have done 'better/different'.

 

Although you say he gave you no reason - he did (as best he could). It didn't feel right to him and he didn't like the path he was on. It sounds like classic GIGS (Grass is greener) to me - thread pinned to top of this board about it - read it, REALLY read it, it will help.

 

xx

[CBKBM]

Thanks for the support. It really is cathartic to write and so lovely to know I'm not alone.

 

Reading the GIGS forum. I was totally that girl once. Maybe what I'm going through now IS karmic retribution. Think GIGS can strike a 35-year-old guy?

 

Here's to the first day of NC...

This is like rehab. Do I get a chip?

Edited August 26, 2013 by CBKBM

[karpeezy]

Wow, you ARE me. My ex broke up with me on Friday, after 9 months.

 

Everything you said in your post is true about us to... everyone said we were perfect, and they thought we'd be getting married soon. Up until the night before, we had been talking about vacations next year, and what we were going to do this fall, etc. I am completely blindsided and painfully hurt as well.

 

He said his feelings 'stalled' since the last time we had an emotional talk, and that they hadn't progressed to the point he thought they should be at. I was able to tell him I loved him...and he said he would never be able to love me. That he didn't see a future with me. He's never been in love, and never liked someone as much as me...I don't understand why he's given up so easily.

 

I've chalked it up to, he's not ready to give me what I want...and doesn't know if he ever will be. He's always been happy being single, and now is able to go back to doing 'guy stuff' and coaching hockey and being busy with work. He just didn't see where he'd be able to find time for me.

 

It's the first time I've been in love, and now I am broken hearted. We haven't talked since the break up. It's been extremely difficult but I have been able to cope s0 far by talking it through with friends and family, reading LS and realizing life will go on, writing in a journal. I'll also be going away next weekend with a friend, since ex and I were supposed to be going away and now we aren't.

 

You will get through it, I will to. It's going to be an extremely tough road, and there will be pain and hurt, but stay strong. You can do it!

[Soat]

I did the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to do. I caved. I called, begged, pleaded, apologized, cried, bargained, groveled, demanded answers, and said pitiful things about how much I was hurting. The entire time I could tell how ugly and unfair and pathetic I was being, but I couldn’t stop. I just wanted to keep talking because I couldn’t bring myself to hang up the phone, an action that would finalize that it was actually over. As long as I was talking, I was talking to *him*, and I couldn’t make myself stop. He was gracious and understanding, and let me talk myself out, although I’m sure he was annoyed. I’d be. No real answers. Just the same refrain of “I’m sorry,” “I wish you weren’t hurting,” and “It was nothing you did.” The only extra tidbit I got was that when he envisioned his future, he didn’t like the path he was on. It didn’t feel right. He couldn’t explain what feeling he WAS looking for, just that he didn’t think this was it. Maybe there’s more. Maybe he’s lying to me to spare my feelings. I don’t know. He didn’t say much, even when I begged for him to share his thought process.

 

 

Of course, now I’m paranoid that I’ve ruined any chance of reconciliation with my call. Not that that was likely, but my ridiculous imagination is thinking “What if he was just about to call and say sorry? What if he just needed a few days to miss you? What if he was just processing his feelings? You just ruined everything by calling. You just totally validated that you’re crazy and pitiful. Now he doesn’t even respect you, let alone want to be with you. You just annoyed him, bored him, and pushed him further away.” Why why why why did I call?

 

 

 

My ridiculous imagination is thinking all sorts of things…

 

 

…what if this is karma? What if I failed some sort of cosmic relationship test and this is my punishment?

…maybe if I wish hard enough at 11:11 or 12:34, he’ll change his mind.

…what if he randomly comes across my post, realizes it’s about him, and is so mortified by the fact that I’m posting my emotions and problems on an online forum, that he loses all positive feelings for me? Ugh, the thought of him reading this makes me cringe.

 

 

 

I feel delusional and crazy. I can’t sleep, I’m sick to my stomach, I can’t eat. I’m trying to come up with any answer and reason and justification at all, anything to make sense of why I’m hurting so bad. I can’t stomach the idea that this is *it* and there’s no more *us*. I’m also driving myself crazy wondering how long he’s felt this way, and why he couldn’t mention his anxiety before when it first cropped up—maybe if he spoke up, I could have fixed it? (He says he can’t pinpoint when the feeling started.) It makes me feel a little sick to think that I was ignorantly part of this relationship charade while he wanted out. How many days, weeks, or months was he just going through the motions, secretly wanting me gone? God, I can’t handle that thought. If only I had known, there would be so many things I would and could have changed.

 

 

 

I feel so down on myself for taking the relationship for granted…for comfortably coasting on it when I should have been actively nourishing it.

 

 

Suggest you read the link in my signature. You sound like a fantastic person, don't do this to yourself. Have some pride, i know it's hard

[ShockS]

Reading the GIGS forum. I was totally that girl once. Maybe what I'm going through now IS karmic retribution

 

 

What happened in the past?

 

I honestly hope you get through this. You seem to have made all the right moves within the relationship so don't look back thinking "should've"

 

I'm a guy & this is exactly what i would've wanted a girl to be like.

 

He might miss you later or maybe its over for good. You should do stuff you love now. Not relationship stuff.

 

It won't fix everything but at least you won't feel like you're wasting your time.

 

Platonic Man Hugs to you. ((((((()))))))

[CBKBM]

What happened in the past?

 

 

Platonic Man Hugs to you. ((((((()))))))

 

 

 

Thanks for the platonic man hugs .

 

I was the GIGS girl in a college relationship. I was just a different person at 22 than I was at 18. But when I broke up with him, I felt a sense of relief. I felt as if a massive and oppressive weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and that's how I knew I had made the right decision.

 

When I asked my most recent boyfriend (I just can't put the "E" word in writing), if that's how he felt, he said no, he didn't feel relief. Maybe he's lying to spare my feelings. Maybe he isn't. But that message is really confusing to me.

 

 

 

I've gone a whole two hours at work without breaking down. It is a physical effort. Like throwing something really heavy. I actually have to hit myself and say "stop it" whenever I feel the tears start to well up...

[CBKBM]

 

Everything you said in your post is true about us to... everyone said we were perfect, and they thought we'd be getting married soon. Up until the night before, we had been talking about vacations next year, and what we were going to do this fall, etc. I am completely blindsided and painfully hurt as well.

 

He said his feelings 'stalled' since the last time we had an emotional talk, and that they hadn't progressed to the point he thought they should be at. I was able to tell him I loved him...and he said he would never be able to love me. That he didn't see a future with me. He's never been in love, and never liked someone as much as me...I don't understand why he's given up so easily.

 

 

Wow, yes, almost exactly the same conversation. Especially the part about stalled feelings and the relationship not progressing to the point he thought it should be at. (Part of me really resents the fact that he felt, in my opinion, that there was a finish line destination, and since we weren't getting there fast enough, that was an indicator it wasn't working---my words, not his, so maybe that theory is totally in my head).

 

Except HE was the one who said he loved me first, HE was the one who wanted to take the relationship further, HE was the one who always promised that if we ever broke up, it would be me doing the breaking up, because he never would.

 

Wow, that hurts to write.

 

Like you, and probably everyone else who lost a good thing (I really cannot identify one problem we had), I can't believe he would give up so easily. How could look back at the amazing moments--every moment--we had together and not think it was worth fighting for?

 

I'm trying not to take it personally (easier said than done.) Im telling myself that I'm just the tragic casualty of a perfect storm of elements that may or may not have had anything to do with me, and were totally outside my control.

[Brown-Eyez]

Wow, yes, almost exactly the same conversation. Especially the part about stalled feelings and the relationship not progressing to the point he thought it should be at. (Part of me really resents the fact that he felt, in my opinion, that there was a finish line destination, and since we weren't getting there fast enough, that was an indicator it wasn't working---my words, not his, so maybe that theory is totally in my head).

 

Except HE was the one who said he loved me first, HE was the one who wanted to take the relationship further, HE was the one who always promised that if we ever broke up, it would be me doing the breaking up, because he never would.

 

Wow, that hurts to write.

 

Like you, and probably everyone else who lost a good thing (I really cannot identify one problem we had), I can't believe he would give up so easily. How could look back at the amazing moments--every moment--we had together and not think it was worth fighting for?

 

I'm trying not to take it personally (easier said than done.) Im telling myself that I'm just the tragic casualty of a perfect storm of elements that may or may not have had anything to do with me, and were totally outside my control.

 

Oh wow, I truly feel your pain!

 

do whatever you can to treat yourself to goodness right now (in any form) because you're still in a state of shock and when that wears off, that's when the emotional s**t is really going to hit the fan...hang in there, ride it out, and keep posting (even if he happens to recognize you, all of what you're saying is sincere and lovely).

 

Though I am in great despair myself, I reach out to you and give you a big hug, because loving sucks & you did the best you could with who you were at the time, remember that too.

[ShockS]

I was the GIGS girl in a college relationship. I was just a different person at 22 than I was at 18. But when I broke up with him, I felt a sense of relief. I felt as if a massive and oppressive weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and that's how I knew I had made the right decision..

 

Stay strong when you can. But allow yourself to be weak when you're on your own. No point in holding anything in when you've got an outlet or someone to listen.

 

Did you ever ask your Gigs ex how he felt after your breakup?

 

Was it a good relationship?

 

Did you ever want to go back?

 

( I guess I'm asking this for myself )

 

Do you think if he asked you how you felt back then would you have told him it was a relief, or would you have tried to spare his feelings?

 

 

 

For the case of your most recent bf

 

As a guy of 35 myself I can only tell you that at this age a man feels like he is setting down the foundation for the rest of his life & sometimes that can scare men into taking drastic action. Kind of like GIGS.

 

There's no way to tell the outcome unfortunately

 

It's better that you don't try the wait & see approach though.

 

After all you didn't get back with your GIGS ex

 

It's your life. So you'd better live it

 

I hope love follows every choice you make

Edited August 26, 2013 by ShockS

[CBKBM]

1 day NC

 

After work was awful, as that's when I always call to tell him about my day.

 

I never though I'd be here. I thought we had it perfect. Like really, truly. I felt that we had stumbled upon the perfect relationship formula. It was always good, and happy, and honest. There were no games, drama, or calculated moves. There were no "buts," as in...

 

...he was perfect, but...

...it was a great relationship, but...

 

None of that. No buts. It was always so comfortable and right. For which I should be thankful, I know. It's better to have loved and lost, right? But it does make it so much more confusing.

 

Which isn't to say that I didn't have doubts either. Of course I did. Of course there were times I took a step back and wondered if this was right, if he was right. That's natural in any long term relationship. But I always DECIDED it was. Because I firmly believe that real, sustaining love is a CHOICE. Maybe if he knew he wasn't alone in his doubts? Maybe if he knew that was natural?

 

I can't stop crying. I feel sick to my stomach at the thought that he pities me or something. I can't stop asking myself why I wasn't good enough. Why I wasn't worth fighting for. Why I wasn't loveable. Why I didn't do this or that. Why I missed the signs. I can't even be angry. There's nothing to be angry about. I'm just so bewildered and hurting.

[Kobe2345]

Take a deep breath, and listen to some relaxing music, I Know how hard the very 1st day of NC is, all those routines u guys did, now you're all alone. I know exactly how you feel... you got a long way to go and you will feel angry, sad, and all those other crap, but i promise you it will get better! just try not to focus too much on the relationship and the pain will die slowly... and keep venting!

[Sparkle304]

CBKBM......stay strong! We're all here and will help with any advice!

 

I had a rough day myself One minute I was fine and the next I was back on the couch crying and trying to figure out how I made it all go wrong. But as usual, I found no answers.....

 

My mom has lived through all my dating woes and I remember recently telling her that whoever gets me will be a lucky man. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

 

Take a deep breath.....you WILL get through this.