robert_trebor Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Not sure where to post this is it’s not really my relationship. I have grown up with my best friend from the time we were born 2 days apart. We were next door neighbors, we went to school together, we lived together for a while, we have done some wild things together, heck we have even been arrested together. I’m single (divorced), he has been with his wife 7 years. The thing is, I am in love with his wife, I always have been from the moment I saw her. I often fantasize about her but that is as far as it will ever go. There is no chance I would ever screw over my mate. The more I talk to her and the more I hear about their exploits the more I just feel that we are incredibly compatible. They have had a number of threesomes with other women before and she openly talks about them but I got a shock the other night. My mate pulled me aside and said his wife wants to try a threesome with another man. My name has been bought up and she is happy with that. The reason my name was dropped was because we have shared the same girl a number of times back in our school days. I am happy to be with my mate again, it’s been many years but it would be fun. But I so desperately want to be with her, I was literally shaking when I was asked. I have already said yes and it’s going to happen on a weekend away (that was already planned) in a few weeks. When she found out I said yes she gave me the biggest kiss in front of my mate and he was happy about it. In return she was so happy when I kissed him. I went weak at the knees, it was like being a teenager again. Now I have had a few days to digest all this I’m not sure I can go through with it. I mean I really want to do it, but I am worried that I will just fall deeper under her spell and am scared of the consequences of that. On the other hand, we are all adults and comfortable with it so why not just enjoy the moment. I realize this probably isn’t your everyday garden variety problem but and opinions are more than welcomed. I really want this, but if the choice was doing this and losing the friendships or passing on this and keeping them as friends then I would have to pass. I can see no reason why I can’t do this and be even better friends but I am just not sure.
Philosoraptor Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Sounds like a big ol pot of trouble. I've got no issue with the polymory scene, but you already feel like you love this woman and you're going to sleep with her... knowing she is married for your friend. If you can't keep your feelings separate from this I would say following through with it may not be in your best interests. 2
Author robert_trebor Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 If you can't keep your feelings separate from this I would say following through with it may not be in your best interests. Mistake. Don't do this. You'll only become more attached. You need to tell them both how you feel about her. It's not casual for you. My feelings for her are going to be the same whether or not I go through with this. They have asked me specifically because of my friendship with them both and my history with my best friend. They can't possibly think that there would be no feelings or attachment there can they? I was thinking that was the reason they asked, because there was feelings? Am I reading it wrong? If this goes ahead it's not like I am going to all of a sudden want his wife all for myself and start pursuing her.
Author robert_trebor Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 it's not just platonic feelings you have for his wife. Isn't that obvious and self explanatory? I currently have a platonic relationship (affectionate but not sexual). Obviously it is going to move beyond that at their request. My feelings are a little bit different but I don't see it as a deal breaker. Yes, I want to be with her sexually but I have no intent, no feelings, of trying to win her away from my best friend. I can't see what benefit would come from telling them that hey guess what, I've fantasized about being with you for years.
bubbaganoosh Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Your in love with his wife. She wants you for sex only. There's a big difference. You'll want to make love to her and she just wants a romp in the hay. When the night is over, she'll give you a kiss on the cheek and say thanks and go to bed with her husband and that will be it. You on the other hand will go home by yourself with terrible mixed feelings and only get worse. Sooner or later you best friend will pick up on that you have real feelings for his wife and that could lead to the end of your friendship. Your in a difficult position. If you really value your friendship with your friend, tell him thanks but no thanks, that you two are to close and you don't want to ruin a life long friendship.
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