Author fortyninethousand322 Posted August 27, 2013 Author Posted August 27, 2013 Op, I don't want to offend you, but are you charming at all? I think what star said are great starts, but if won't really work if you can't pull off the approach. Well it's almost impossible to offend me. I don't know if I'm charming or not. Maybe I am sometimes.
man_in_the_box Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 So what did you do? Did you just make new (additional) friends? Or stick with it until some women made their way into your group? I've known these guys for 5+ years. And outside of their wives or girlfriends I've met 3 single women. And none since 2011. So I think that well is kind of dry. When I turned 18 I started to live on my own and first thing I did was join a student organization (as I just started studying). That quickly leads to a relatively large and fluctuating social circle consisting of both genders. I took up some responsibilities with a girl there and after there she became my girlfriend - didn't even have to make a move. Many of the guys I know have found a relationship at one point or another this way. I've also joined a sports organization although I didn't really particularly like that one. As I'm closing in to finishing my study I'm starting to look for new social environments as well - I think I'm going to try another sportclub after I'm done studying. If I were single at this point I think that looking for these things works good: you want something that's relatively easy to become part of, which has mixed genders and preferentially that if you are having a good time there that your social circle starts growing because you eventually start getting to know people who know your friends. I've went to salsa classes which in hindsight wouldve been great to get to know girls quickly, I've volunteered a while and while this particular job didn't offer potentials I'm certain there are volunteering event which are great for meeting people. There's also group lessons for learning an instrument. A more social oriented sport club works wonders, I've been part of an athletics club and used to have a tight circle of friends there. The options are pretty broad. Remember that its not a 100% guaranteed thing - some social groups are too stable and non diverse like the one you are in now. No big deal, at least what you have from it in the end is better than a rejection from a cold approach. I'm also not saying stop cold-approaching if it doesn't bother you that much. It can always be helpful, especially for always improving on your social skills. I'm 25 as well and i changed dramatically in this regard, even though im still no smooth talker who becomes friends with everyone.
FitChick Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I literally look like a middle aged bald guy with glasses and a mustache-goatee (I'm only 25 though so I'm not actually middle aged, I just look like it). As a result, I don't buy much shampoo anymore. There ya go -- hold a package of Rogaine in your hand, stroke your bald head and ask a woman, "Do women really prefer men with hair? Should I buy this? I'm single." Since you look older, you should chat up older women. You might have better luck.
KungFuJoe Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Op, To be honest, I would just not worry about the cold approach. It works for some and for others...not so much. You seem like a nice and friendly guy who likes sports and isn't a couch potato. People like you can meet women through activities or social circles. One thing I've learned is that you have to know what works for you and what doesn't...and then focus on what DOES work. I also want to mention that I would probably SUCK at cold approaching if I had to do it 2
Lansing Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I have done cold approaches in the past. I have made some friends out of cold approaching and also dated some girls from it. In the past I have found it easier to meet someone if there is a reason to talk to them. Like, waiting in line for something. I go to film festivals/etc and there is a lot of waiting around. I have talked to girls on commuter trains as well. I usually don't have a problem getting a number but sometimes it is tricky converting it into an actual date. One thing I would recommend is to get out and volunteer for something you are passionate about/interested in. Don't do it to meet women but do it because you want to help out. At the same time there is a lot of possibility to meet interesting people. I have a friend who won't do things unless there are young/pretty girls doing it too. He doesn't want to volunteer if it is just old ladies there. For me, I will talk to everyone including older ladies. I am trying to think if I have ever done a grocery store approach... I don't think I have but definitely been those times when I saw a girl and thought "wow". I guess I don't want to bug people in those situations and at the same time I guess I feel we don't have much to connect on (vs. if you both went to see the same film, etc).
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