Meeting dating prospects at the store

[fortyninethousand322]

Instead of a self-pitying thread about how my life sucks, I thought I'd post a more helpful thread.

 

For those of you who meet people at the store, how do you do it? Is it intentional? Accidental? A bit of both? Is it fellow shoppers you go for or the employees?

 

I saw quite a few attractive women the last two days at the store, and usually there are quite a few women at the grocery store. What's the standard working procedure here?

 

If I can't make good use of any tips in this thread, maybe someone else can at least.

[StanMusial]

Are the people you work with friendly? If so, try to round up a group of people to hang out after your shift.

[fortyninethousand322]

Are the people you work with friendly? If so, try to round up a group of people to hang out after your shift.

 

I haven't started my new job yet, I've only had orientation. From what I've heard though, they're mostly recent immigrants who speak English as a second (sometimes third) language. Not sure how it will work out...

[StanMusial]

I haven't started my new job yet, I've only had orientation. From what I've heard though, they're mostly recent immigrants who speak English as a second (sometimes third) language. Not sure how it will work out...

 

At least you are out of the house... baby steps... Maybe you can hook up with an immigrant girl that doesn't know any better. Fresh off the boat, you can convince her that you are the King Shet of that joint.

[jcrew11]

If she's cute, and seems to be friendly, just stand next to her and ask her for suggestions buying something that she is looking at. Make a funny comment, or just say "i was intersted in buying that, is that product good"

 

Employees are always helpful and friendly and its good to practice flirting with them. Just smile and ask for their help on something innocent. It will build up your confidence talking with women.

[tbf]

Don't start talking to women you're attracted to. Chat with people who don't make you uncomfortable.

 

Observe what they're buying and doing. Then open with something that is tailored to them. Forget humour if it's not your natural way to connect with people since comedy has a timing and comfort level factor. DO NOT insult or criticize strangers. Forget serious topics. Keep it light, easy patter.

[KathyM]

What men have tried with me at the grocery store or other stores is that they will ask for directions on where to find a product, or they will ask what kind of bread (or whatever) they should buy, or they will go to where I'm standing in line (such as the deli counter, bakery, or check out line) and strike up a conversation unrelated to any products.

[man_in_the_box]

Why do you want to rely so much on the cold approach?

[fortyninethousand322]

Why do you want to rely so much on the cold approach?

 

I don't meet many women through my social contacts. And even on the rare occasions that I did, I was too wimpy to say anything beyond "hi how are you?".

 

Any way you slice it, unless you meet through work or friends, it's going to be a cold approach. Might as well learn how to do it properly...

[fortyninethousand322]

Don't start talking to women you're attracted to. Chat with people who don't make you uncomfortable.

 

Observe what they're buying and doing. Then open with something that is tailored to them. Forget humour if it's not your natural way to connect with people since comedy has a timing and comfort level factor. DO NOT insult or criticize strangers. Forget serious topics. Keep it light, easy patter.

 

I'm pretty good at that part already. It's taking the next step that I'm not so good at.

 

Sort of like riding a bike without training wheels...

[tbf]

I'm pretty good at that part already. It's taking the next step that I'm not so good at.

 

Sort of like riding a bike without training wheels...

Then up your game. Start chatting with people who make you a bit uncomfortable but without any intent to pursue. Just be friendly and if possible, send someone off with a smile on their face.

[man_in_the_box]

I don't meet many women through my social contacts. And even on the rare occasions that I did, I was too wimpy to say anything beyond "hi how are you?".

 

Any way you slice it, unless you meet through work or friends, it's going to be a cold approach. Might as well learn how to do it properly...

 

Aren't there ways to change that? My social environment did not have that much women and I managed to get a girlfriend through that route. If I'd have to rely on cold approaching I doubt I would have had much success.

[fortyninethousand322]

You already know what to do and we told you too. Go for it man. Stop playing it so scared.

 

Yeah you're right. I remember in high school I went up to the most attractive woman I'd ever seen and asked for her phone number (and got it). Asked a really pretty girl to dance at homecoming. Stuff like that.

 

I don't know what happened. I don't know how I lost my mojo...

[carhill]

For those of you who meet people at the store, how do you do it? Is it intentional? Accidental? A bit of both? Is it fellow shoppers you go for or the employees?

 

My most prolific contacts are in the produce area and checkout line, with the meat counter being a close second. It's never intentional, rather going with the flow of interaction that I sense. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. The most common scenario is light flirting with any of the female checkout clerks, most of whom I've known for a decade or more, and then triangulating the conversation with a fellow line member. There are also a few of the regular female baggers I have fun with. They're all married so it's good clean fun. As I've shared before, I rarely meet women in my demographic who aren't married so I don't really care about that anymore, rather just having a good time. If a single woman happens to fall into that good time, bonus.

[Star Gazer]

Do you and irc333 have the same guy in your avatar? Totally random, but I just noticed why I confuse you guys all the time.

 

I agree with tbf. Just amp up your game a little bit.

 

I'd also suggest going somewhere where more women are likely to be, like the shampoo aisle... Ask for suggestions.

[fortyninethousand322]

Aren't there ways to change that? My social environment did not have that much women and I managed to get a girlfriend through that route. If I'd have to rely on cold approaching I doubt I would have had much success.

 

So what did you do? Did you just make new (additional) friends? Or stick with it until some women made their way into your group?

 

I've known these guys for 5+ years. And outside of their wives or girlfriends I've met 3 single women. And none since 2011. So I think that well is kind of dry.

[fortyninethousand322]

Do you and irc333 have the same guy in your avatar? Totally random, but I just noticed why I confuse you guys all the time.

 

I agree with tbf. Just amp up your game a little bit.

 

I'd also suggest going somewhere where more women are likely to be, like the shampoo aisle... Ask for suggestions.

 

Yeah we do. He had the avatar first, but I actually resemble the guy. I literally look like a middle aged bald guy with glasses and a mustache-goatee (I'm only 25 though so I'm not actually middle aged, I just look like it). As a result, I don't buy much shampoo anymore.

[Star Gazer]

Yeah we do. He had the avatar first, but I actually resemble the guy. I literally look like a middle aged bald guy with glasses and a mustache-goatee (I'm only 25 though so I'm not actually middle aged, I just look like it). As a result, I don't buy much shampoo anymore.

 

Okay, the produce section then. "Do you know which of the apple varieties are the sweetest? Granny Smiths are too sour to me."

 

(This is not a play on the Good Will Hunting apples reference... )

 

Or, whatever. But the best way to strike up a convo is to ask her opinion.

 

Or, on another thought... Hang out in the shampoo aisle and say you're running errands for your mother, and for obvious reasons have no idea what she meant by "nice shampoo."

[Star Gazer]

49, I want to follow you around and coach you like a female version of Hutch. You're a good guy.

[tbf]

Or, on another thought... Hang out in the shampoo aisle and say you're running errands for your mother, and for obvious reasons have no idea what she meant by "nice shampoo."

Can you imagine this scenario? It would be adorable if you were grinning at the humour, running your hand over your head to illustrate the reason in a masculine, sheepish manner.

[clia]

Okay, the produce section then. "Do you know which of the apple varieties are the sweetest? Granny Smiths are too sour to me."

 

(This is not a play on the Good Will Hunting apples reference... )

 

Or, whatever. But the best way to strike up a convo is to ask her opinion.

 

Or, on another thought... Hang out in the shampoo aisle and say you're running errands for your mother, and for obvious reasons have no idea what she meant by "nice shampoo."

 

Yes, exactly this. You need to start a casual conversation that has nothing to do with getting her number or asking her out on a date, but is context appropriate based upon what she is looking at and doing. Other examples:

 

"Those peaches are really good! You should definitely try them!"

 

"Are the buffalo burgers good here?"

 

Etc...

 

Just be casual, and you can evaluate her interest. Some women may not be in the mood for the small talk, so just move on. Other women may be in a totally talkative mood and may take the conversation further. At some appropriate point, you can introduce yourself. At a further point in the conversation you can evaluate whether to ask for her number. I get the impression that with a bit of practice at this, you will be fine. Just don't get discouraged. Sometimes people just aren't in the mood to talk or flirt and it has nothing to do with you.

[StanMusial]

Yes, exactly this. You need to start a casual conversation that has nothing to do with getting her number or asking her out on a date, but is context appropriate based upon what she is looking at and doing. Other examples:

 

"Those peaches are really good! You should definitely try them!"

 

"Are the buffalo burgers good here?"

 

 

"These pretzels... are making.. ME THIRSTY!!!!"

[Star Gazer]

They called him Hitch. But you'll be Hutch haha

 

Hahahaha! I have a friend named Hutch, that's where that comes from.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I am a fan of cold approach dating.

 

 

 

Honestly though, if that is your form of choice, I would hold off on hitting on anyone you work with.

 

As for customers, I really think you need to be able to read women well, and pick up on social cues. Along with that, don't be afraid of rejection. Cold approaches don't give you a high success rate, but that is because you literally are trying to start something with a stranger.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Op, I don't want to offend you, but are you charming at all?

 

 

 

I think what star said are great starts, but if won't really work if you can't pull off the approach.