Betterthanthis13 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 One of the first things I did after Dday#2 in June was go visit my doctor for an STD test. All good but she said several things need to be re-tested in 6 months, just to be sure. Aghhhhhhhh Xbf cheated with escorts, ONS and even had sex in a massage parlor (not a happy ending, full on sex- I didn't know that was available as a service but apparently it is for the right price) he also was not always careful (aka didnt wear condoms) I'm trying to think positive (ugh- I mean negative??) Xbf said its been over a year since anything physical happened so I'm probably ok. He obviously trustworthy... No need to worry... (sarcasm) Did you know herpes was transmittable through a condom? And can remain undetected for 6 months? I learned that fact in June It's not like I was going to date anyone right now anyway. I just wouldn't because my head isn't straight- but what if I meet someone I like in say, October? I guess I have to inform him that I'm possibly incubating some hideous STD and can have sex with him after Xmas and New Years IF the test comes back negative... yeah.... Ok. That's really hot babe, can't wait... I've always been super super careful about this type of stuff and can't get the thought of impending herpes, HIV or some cancer causing strain of HPV, out of my mind. I'm probably obsessing over nothing- i know im a hypochondriac anyway-- but damn
Author Betterthanthis13 Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 PS I'm fully aware I'm being melodramatic and a big baby. I just felt like being that way for a moment. Now that it's out I already feel better. 3
karnak Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Don't worry. All the results will come out negative. Be happy and don't think about it. Time to live without fear. 3
So happy together Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 PS I'm fully aware I'm being melodramatic and a big baby. I just felt like being that way for a moment. Now that it's out I already feel better. I don't think you are being a baby at all. You've every right to worry. Hang in there. 2
janedoe67 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Sending good thoughts your way and, I admit, thoughts of doom to your Xbf. I hope everything turns out clear, and if you DO meet someone in Oct. I hope he is an amazingly hot and respectful and compassionate man who says "baby, I'll wait till New year's cause you're worth the wait." 2
BetrayedH Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I went thru a long period wondering if my children were my own. I never did do a paternity test. It's quite something to have to ponder. There are some long term consequences that I think are rarely anticipated. 2
Author Betterthanthis13 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Yeah it's not consuming my mind every day. I can stay positive and really don't think I have anything to worry about. I was just having a moment.
Author Betterthanthis13 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 I went thru a long period wondering if my children were my own. I never did do a paternity test. It's quite something to have to ponder. There are some long term consequences that I think are rarely anticipated. I can't imagine that mental battle. I know I gave birth to my child because well- duh, but if for some reason I found out there was a chance he was switched at the hospital at birth and wasn't biologically mine-- he's still my kid and always will be mine. I wouldn't do a test either.
Ebelskiver Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Herpes shows up in two weeks, maybe a wee bit longer. Something like 99% of HIV tests will accurately give your results in 6 weeks. Chlamydia and gonorrhea can hide on our lady bits, but again, will be fully apparent with testing 14 days post exposure. HPV...that's different. It can remain dormant for months or years, however if it's a viral strain that causes actual warts, as opposed to cervical changes, those will show up in 6-12 months. BUT, 95% of the sexually active population has some form of HPV, condoms don't really protect against it and you could have had it already or gotten it from someone else. Best protection...yearly paps until you get 3 clean in a row then you can graduate to once every 3 years. Can you tell I do this for a living? 5
Journee Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 (edited) I totally understand. It's strange how the people who safe guard their sexual health the most end up in these situations. While everyone else is in la la land we are scared for our lives. It is very real concern and good for you for taking charge! I was completely devastated that while I was pregnant I found out I had two strains of HPV that can cause cancer. Right along with an abnormal pap and precancerous lesions on my cervix. A few colposcopies and biopsies later I just got a normal pap result! No more HPV. No more abnormal cells. No more lesions. My lowered immune system while pregnant was what let the strains take over. At least this is my doctor's theory. I can't help but think that my exposure came with my husband's cheating over the years. There is no way to know but I most definitely harbor resentment and anger in regards to how everything has went down. I look at him sometimes and think " You could had killed me." Extreme? Maybe.... but I had never had an abnormal pap before. Adding to my anxiety , my obgyn wanted to see me immediately. I was so scared. I bet everything is fine on your end and you will be so relieved in the coming months. I also hope you do meet someone special when you are ready. It's amazing how irresponsible people can be with their own health then act kind of anmoyed when a BS even mentions STD's being a concern. Hello, you don't know the BS either AP. No one in the dynamic can be certain of another's sexual past (or present in these cases). Sexually transmitted infections and diseases are not made up stories but can be apart of these affairy tales. Good luck OP! Edited August 26, 2013 by Journee
LimeBlue Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I know two men who sleep around. They both use condoms but they have both told me that sometimes they do not. One of them uses prostitutes on occasion as well. However, they both feel that using a condom will protect them from everything. Do condoms protect from HPV? Chlamydia and gonorrhea can be removed with antibiotics (I think?). But there are so many other STDs which cannot be solved with antibiotics, and those are the worrisome ones.
veryhappy Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 HPV was actually one of the main reasons of being worried about having an affair. Yes, more than the moral side of it that is so popular with BS. My gynecologist said it can take up to 5 years for a strain to show up in tests, so that is a huge gample to me. I have asked exAP to check his wife's results aftee she had a check up and assure me she was negative (there's no HPV test for men, just for women), but...at this point I wouldn't trust his word on anything. For all of you BW out there I consider myself a very responsible OW, I have actually shown him my test results. As for the hopefully good part, I drilled the STD thing into him so much that he actually said I scared him (talking about him and his future being faithful). I don't think you're obsessing over nothing. These things go around, and an unfaithful partner can eff up your health. It's again one of the reasons why I think people should take affairs seriously, and any sort of sexual involvement for that matter.
Author Betterthanthis13 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Herpes shows up in two weeks, maybe a wee bit longer. Something like 99% of HIV tests will accurately give your results in 6 weeks. Chlamydia and gonorrhea can hide on our lady bits, but again, will be fully apparent with testing 14 days post exposure. HPV...that's different. It can remain dormant for months or years, however if it's a viral strain that causes actual warts, as opposed to cervical changes, those will show up in 6-12 months. BUT, 95% of the sexually active population has some form of HPV, condoms don't really protect against it and you could have had it already or gotten it from someone else. Best protection...yearly paps until you get 3 clean in a row then you can graduate to once every 3 years. Can you tell I do this for a living? Thanks- a dose of reality is always good. I logically know for 99% sure I am a-ok. I think this thread by me was more about resentment than it was actual fear of incubating STD's. I just feel dirty, like while I was sleeping a bunch of hookers came over and rubbed themselves on me while xbf watched it happen and said nothing. I don't even have a problem with people having casual sex or hookers or group sex or anything consenting adults want to do with themselves. Whatever risks they want to assume are their business and I hope people do what makes them happy. I resent the fact that risks were taken for me without my consent. I could just as easily contract something from someone, it's not like I am some saint or anything--- but if I took the risk myself then that's my problem. I don't appreciate the risk having been taken for me. Especially since he risked condom free sex with more than one woman... Ugh it's just hard not to stay angry about that 1
BetrayedH Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I think December marks the end of hurricane season. Coincidence? 1
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