JesRabbit Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I posted yesterday about how my boyfriend's parents let his child's mother come over to bring their 2yr old son and spend nights over the weekend. Well, I noticed that when she is there, he ignores me when I send him texts. I would send him a text and he may not respond to it until 3 hrs later. I talked to him about this recently and he claims that whenever him and I talk when she is there, she starts an argument with him. I asked him why does she start an argument if she knows we are together. He just claims he wants to keep drama down. Right now, I don't know what to believe or what they have going on. I tried to be understanding. When she isn't there we talk all day. I also noticed that when I'm around him and she calls/text him, he doesn't respond to her either if I'm there with him. It just really pisses me off that he does that when he's around her at his parent's house. I also noticed that he is active on Facebook but he doesn't respond right away to me. He still claims that his parents have a lot to do with her coming over all the time which is why we are supposed to be moving together next month. I don't know if he's busy with his son or what, but it drives me crazy knowing she is there with him. I'm just confused and don't know what to believe. I am trying to be an understanding girlfriend about him seeing his son, but I'm about ready to give up. The problem is also that I don't want to give up if he's really not into her like he says he's not. He claims he love me and he just deals with her for their son. I need advice, because it's heart-breaking sometimes.
darkmoon Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) you expect a Hollywood-perfect situation, just take the guy at his word and move in with him, only month to go, look, you know that you will have to accept his past, his mother, an involved granny, wants all this family get-together stuff, I hope you keep in her good books, and if nothing stops your upset, bail out and move on, arguing will make you feel more like an outsider if living with him doesn't make this okay - what will? Edited August 25, 2013 by darkmoon
veggirl Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Like I asked in your first thread--what is the LEGAL custody agreement? SHE doesn't get to just CHOOSE that she has to be there for your bf to see his kid. What is the legal agreement and why doesn't your bf enforce it? Or is there not one? Why don't you go with when he is at his parents?
Author JesRabbit Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Like I asked in your first thread--what is the LEGAL custody agreement? SHE doesn't get to just CHOOSE that she has to be there for your bf to see his kid. What is the legal agreement and why doesn't your bf enforce it? Or is there not one? Why don't you go with when he is at his parents? There is no legal agreement as of right now. I don't go over to the parent's house when she is there, because I don't want to be in their little family function and it's obvious she doesn't like me so why bother and start drama?
sweetheart5381 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I posted yesterday about how my boyfriend's parents let his child's mother come over to bring their 2yr old son and spend nights over the weekend. Well, I noticed that when she is there, he ignores me when I send him texts. I would send him a text and he may not respond to it until 3 hrs later. I talked to him about this recently and he claims that whenever him and I talk when she is there, she starts an argument with him. I asked him why does she start an argument if she knows we are together. He just claims he wants to keep drama down. Right now, I don't know what to believe or what they have going on. I tried to be understanding. When she isn't there we talk all day. I also noticed that when I'm around him and she calls/text him, he doesn't respond to her either if I'm there with him. It just really pisses me off that he does that when he's around her at his parent's house. I also noticed that he is active on Facebook but he doesn't respond right away to me. He still claims that his parents have a lot to do with her coming over all the time which is why we are supposed to be moving together next month. I don't know if he's busy with his son or what, but it drives me crazy knowing she is there with him. I'm just confused and don't know what to believe. I am trying to be an understanding girlfriend about him seeing his son, but I'm about ready to give up. The problem is also that I don't want to give up if he's really not into her like he says he's not. He claims he love me and he just deals with her for their son. I need advice, because it's heart-breaking sometimes. This is a tough one, for both yourself and your bf. Do you have a child from a previous relationship where you need to deal with your ex? The reason I ask OP is that past romantic relationships with children can be very complicated and hard to understand if you aren't in the same sort of situation. I would trust your bf at this point. He is trying to keep the peace and that is the right thing to do as a parent. It's easy to get caught up in drama, but really it's the children that will suffer the most. My bf and I both have children from previous relationships and we have had to deal with similar situations. For example, his ex-wife called my house late at night last week (apparently to talk to his daughter, according to the daughter). I do not ever give out my home number except for business and very close relatives so I snapped at him and blamed him for giving it to her. Turns out that his daughter had called her mother on my home phone and the ex saved the number to her cell. The ex purposefully called to cause trouble, since she knows that she can call my bf's cell anytime to talk to their daughter when he has her. Ex's can be a nightmare. Unless your man has given you reason to mistrust him, then assume he is trying his best to keep things civil for the sake of his child. He will appreciate if you can understand his position in the matter. 1
Author JesRabbit Posted August 28, 2013 Author Posted August 28, 2013 This is a tough one, for both yourself and your bf. Do you have a child from a previous relationship where you need to deal with your ex? The reason I ask OP is that past romantic relationships with children can be very complicated and hard to understand if you aren't in the same sort of situation. I would trust your bf at this point. He is trying to keep the peace and that is the right thing to do as a parent. It's easy to get caught up in drama, but really it's the children that will suffer the most. My bf and I both have children from previous relationships and we have had to deal with similar situations. For example, his ex-wife called my house late at night last week (apparently to talk to his daughter, according to the daughter). I do not ever give out my home number except for business and very close relatives so I snapped at him and blamed him for giving it to her. Turns out that his daughter had called her mother on my home phone and the ex saved the number to her cell. The ex purposefully called to cause trouble, since she knows that she can call my bf's cell anytime to talk to their daughter when he has her. Ex's can be a nightmare. Unless your man has given you reason to mistrust him, then assume he is trying his best to keep things civil for the sake of his child. He will appreciate if you can understand his position in the matter. I'm trying my best to stay sane, but it is getting too out of hand now. Like this past weekend he made up a lie to get me to stop talking to him while she was there. Lying talking about his phone battery was dying and he had no internet service, but he is online playing internet games it shows up in my feed and he doesn't even realize it. I tried to ask him on numerous occasions do him and his baby mama have something going on and he denies it. She also had me blocked on Facebook and somehow, recently she unblocked me for some reason. I smell a fish, but I don't want to push it until I have proof.
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