abby_tx Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I made this post a few days ago about having "the talk" with my boyfriend of three months. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/418161-when-have-where-going-chat-3.html I drove to his town to spend the weekend with him. Yesterday afternoon I decided to have the "where is this going?" talk because I felt myself falling in love with him. What happened is he decided to break up with me because he is starting grad school and was worried it would be stressful trying to juggle a relationship and school, especially since we would no longer have weekends together because of the work he had to do. He then cried a **** ton. I am so confused because this was a wonderful relationship from start to finish. He was also the one who pursued me and wanted to make it exclusive immediately. He acted like a guy who was looking for marriage. I am sitting here in disbelief wondering why this had to end. The relationship started the week his summer break started and ended the weekend before classes started, so the timing just seems really f'ed up. Like did he plan for this all along?? He said he still wants me in his life and wants to be friends. I do love his company and talking to him, but I'm not sure what I should do.
tart6245 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Cut him out. It's too painful to be friends with someone who has no interest in dating you, especially if you have feelings for that person. You will continually get hurt and continually worry about what they are doing and who they are with when you aren't together. Trust me.
Sanctionne Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Personally I don't think that it's a good idea to try and be friends. At least not now. Give it some time and when you finally feel that you're over him then you can be friends. Otherwise it'll just delay your healing process. I might sound selfish and it is in a way. But sometimes we have to do what's best for ourselves and try to ignore what other ppl may think. Just explain to him the reasons why you can't be friends 'right now' and hopefully he will understand. If not then that doesn't make him a very good friend. 1
Author abby_tx Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 The only reason I would want to be his friend still is so he realizes he ****ed up and asks to date me again. Since I realize that probably never happens, I should maybe just cut him out of my life?
tart6245 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 The only reason I would want to be his friend still is so he realizes he ****ed up and asks to date me again. Since I realize that probably never happens, I should maybe just cut him out of my life? That rarely ever happens. If anything, you will just be friendzoned hard or he will just come back to you as a last resort. Don't put yourself down like that and don't ever accept being someone's last resort.
BluEyeL Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Oh, how nice! So you expressed you wanted commitment, he bails, then asks you to be friends, then maybe quietly, one evening, things get very emotional, and oh ups, we had sex again, here we go, we are friends with benefits. What? Didn't he tell you he didn't want a relationship and just wanted to be friends? Don't be stupid, excuse my French! Go no contact! That's the only way to have him, maybe, with 1% chance, give you what you want and deserve. 1
BluEyeL Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 And listen Abby, I hate to tell you I (we, a few) told you so. It was too early to discuss marriage and stuff, three months in. Next time, please just hold off for 6 months to one year.
Author abby_tx Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 And listen Abby, I hate to tell you I (we, a few) told you so. It was too early to discuss marriage and stuff, three months in. Next time, please just hold off for 6 months to one year. I never got to the point of discussing marriage or kids. We broke up before I said anything. I actually just said "I like you and it's scary"
BluEyeL Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I never got to the point of discussing marriage or kids. We broke up before I said anything. I actually just said "I like you and it's scary" Just THAT? Hm. OK. Well, in any case, don't agree to be friends. Bad idea.
Author abby_tx Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 Just THAT? Hm. OK. Well, in any case, don't agree to be friends. Bad idea. Did I mention he CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED? And I didn't.
BluEyeL Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Did I mention he CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED? And I didn't. Irrelevant. good for you for not crying.
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