Valenxio Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) This is the follow up to my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/417056-any-chance-we-get-back-together After 3 of NC after we broke up she texted me to tell me that she was coming to my place to give me some things I left at her apartment. I took the occasion to tell her that I reconsidered some priorities in my life, but that after all, I still loved her, She cried a bit and gave me a hug. She said she loved me before leaving. Later the same day she called me to get some information on a file she left at my house. She the said that her mom was leaving for vacations on Wednesday august 21. Two hours later I called her back and told her if she wanted to go out on Thursday, she replied that she will be glad to. Then no contact until Wednesday night. She called me to ask where I was taking her, and I said it was a surprise (when we were in couple I would always tell her that I had a surprise for her, and she always tried to guess it) well she wanted some clues I told her that I had the clue on a piece of paper and that I was willing to give it to her. She told me to come over, and I did. When I arrived I told her that the only way to get the clue was to give me a kiss on the cheek, she accepted. She started her kiss and soon began to cry. She then rubbed her nose on mine, and stated to kiss. we later had sex and I slept a her place. We've been acting like a just like couple except that we say ''I love you'' less often. She told me that she was looking forward to see me and that she missed me. I even found out that the kept a t-shirt of mine, and she slept with it every single night after our break-up. By the way, I slept at her place every day since her mom went on vacation on Wednesday except for 1 night. The thing is, that only her closest friend know about our break-up, not even her family. We have been acting like a couple, but she still keep telling me that we are not together. I really want her back. She cries when I tell her that I love her. I really don't know what to do or think. Please I need advice or just your opinion! If you need further explanation, just ask! Thanks! Edited August 25, 2013 by Valenxio typo
eleve82 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Valenxio, I can tell you that it is 100% possible for someone to say they love you, miss you and that you're the most important thing in their life, sleep with you, go on holidays and dates with you and still not want to get back together. How do I know this? Because I've gone though the EXACT SAME thing. Let her go - if she has decided not to be with you, she needs to realise the full consequences of that otherwise she will forever sit on the fence (though her actions and words). However, it is blindingly obvious that she is not going to commit to you because she hasn't in her own mind, concluded that she cannot live without you or that she is happiest with you in her life. Give her that opportunity to find out for herself.
moneyneversleeps Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 Most of us understand what you are going through. Needless to say, breaking up was the hardest thing i have ever endured. Firstly, if she was madly in love with you, her sister could not convinced her otherwise, she may have had small doubts and currently be at a point of weakness, and her sister has exploited her weakness at this point. Let me tell you, without her sister on your side, you are now fighting an uphill battle. How to win her back. 1. Find out why her sister is saying all these nasty things? Why can't these things be worked on? 2. Tell your ex, that if someone can 'convince' her out of love with you, then you are worried about being with them (after all that is weak character) and this was probably best for both of you. 3. Cut her off. Ignore her for a while. Or when you talk and meet up, get your friend to call and say i got to go see 'insert friends/girl/group here'. Currently you are a puppet. You need her to FEEL that she can and will lose you and you aren't going to take this crap. Literally, just go out for a week, and every time she tries to catch up with you cut her off. Be a man and have fun. 4. If she kisses you and it escalates, stop right before sex. Tell her that you just don't know how you feel about her anymore and you are confused and its a bad idea. Leave. You cannot keep seeing her for a while or she will use you as an emotional blanket.
Author Valenxio Posted August 26, 2013 Author Posted August 26, 2013 Alright thanks guys. I think I should leave her alone for a while so she can figure things out. Do you guys thinks its a good idea to ask her why she don't want to be with me before I cut contact with her? Because she haven't given me any explanation yet. And it's really hard to turn the page when you just don't know what went wrong. Should I ask her why can't we be together?
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