Was this wrong to do?

[FitChick]

You did nothing wrong. You didn't ask him to buy you lunch, he asked you. I call that a date. It was a lunch date. You didn't want to take it past that lunch date. That happens to plenty of people all the time. I've had similar happen. I generally enjoyed the conversation and so did he; it was a way to pass the time. Nothing wrong with it.

 

The guys with no money here are the ones crapping their pants. Ignore!

[Babolat]

Say you are in a foreign city, alone, walking the streets and minding your own business.

 

A wealthy looking businessman approaches you and asks where are you from...from there he asks if I am hungry and if I want to have lunch. I AM hungry and also a bit lonely. My romantic/sexual interest in him is zero though.

 

I accept and we go to a near by restaurant. From there, he says "I am going to pay for this. I want you to order anything you want. Ever wanted to try the most expensive champagne? Well, now is that time." I am like "and what do you expect in return?" he says..."Absolutely nothing. I have more money that I know what to do with. Money is meaningless to me. If I wanted sex, I can hire the most expensive escort right now"..

 

So I order modestly but he orders the most expensive champagne anyway....and I drink some...and we talk for about 3 hours. He keeps ordering expensive extras..He opens up about how lonely his life is. He is...interesting and philosophical. Unfortunately, I am still not attracted to him. He keeps asking me how I see him, what's my perception.

 

Anyway...after lunch I say that I want to go shopping. He offers to go with me and to pay for stuff. I firmly insist on going alone. He says OK and that he doesn't want to hassle so he won't ask me for my number but he will give me his business card and to give him a call as he wants to take me out tonight..

 

I am now sitting in my hotel room and have no intention of calling. I somehow feel bad and like I have used him, or led him on

 

What's your verdict?

 

Sounds to me like you were very open and honest with him. And from a mans point of view, especially him talking about being lonely, it's does sound like there was a bit more than companisonship interest from him. BUT, you were clear what your intentions were..so no foul, no harm IMHO.

 

He pursued you too.....

 

The alcohol would be a concern to me...like he was trying to get you a little tipsy so your inhibitions came down. As long as you were in control of that though, and you were, no issues for me. And, you are single, so have fun..just come to Virginia next time! Bring him with you so he can pick up our checks/tabs!

Edited August 26, 2013 by Babolat

[charlietheginger]

You did nothing wrong for all you know the guy could

Be driving a rented car and paying for things with a stolen

Charge card and be a killer that lures in women......

[Star Gazer]

Sounds to me like you were very open and honest with him.

 

Again, why are you saying this?

 

Where does ES say anything about what she said to this guy?

 

He asked her what she thought of him. She doesn't tell us what her response was, so we don't know if it was honest. Whatever her response was, it motivated him to offer to take her shopping and ask her out again to dinner, and then she wonders if she led him on. Ummmm...??

 

What did she say that was open and honest? Where is that in her post?

 

I'm not saying she was dishonest, but I'm really confused by so many of you saying she was honest when she doesn't even tell us what she said during lunch!!

[carhill]

The OP wrote:

 

" I am like "and what do you expect in return?" he says..."Absolutely nothing. I have more money that I know what to do with. "

 

"Anyway...after lunch I say that I want to go shopping. He offers to go with me and to pay for stuff. I firmly insist on going alone. He says OK and that he doesn't want to hassle so he won't ask me for my number but he will give me his business card and to give him a call as he wants to take me out tonight.."

 

Irrespective of what else she may have said during the 3 hours they supposedly 'talked' during lunch, these statements sound very direct. She questioned directly regarding quid pro quo and stated firmly that she was going shopping alone.

[Star Gazer]

The OP wrote:

 

" I am like "and what do you expect in return?" he says..."Absolutely nothing. I have more money that I know what to do with. "

 

"Anyway...after lunch I say that I want to go shopping. He offers to go with me and to pay for stuff. I firmly insist on going alone. He says OK and that he doesn't want to hassle so he won't ask me for my number but he will give me his business card and to give him a call as he wants to take me out tonight.."

 

Irrespective of what else she may have said during the 3 hours they supposedly 'talked' during lunch, these statements sound very direct. She questioned directly regarding quid pro quo and stated firmly that she was going shopping alone.

 

And...?

 

The OP specifically leaves out her response to, "He keeps asking me how I see him, what's my perception."

 

She does not tell us what her response was, what she told him about what she thought of him.

 

Whatever her response, he was motivated to offer to take her shopping and out to dinner. Do you think she said, "I'm not attracted to you at all"? Would a man, even a lonely man, still extend those offers to a woman who'd told him that?

 

I wouldn't have accepted an invite from a "wealthy looking business man" who approached me on the street if I wasn't attracted to him.

[Babolat]

Again, why are you saying this?

 

Where does ES say anything about what she said to this guy?

 

He asked her what she thought of him. She doesn't tell us what her response was, so we don't know if it was honest. Whatever her response was, it motivated him to offer to take her shopping and ask her out again to dinner, and then she wonders if she led him on. Ummmm...??

 

What did she say that was open and honest? Where is that in her post?

 

I'm not saying she was dishonest, but I'm really confused by so many of you saying she was honest when she doesn't even tell us what she said during lunch!!

 

Good point, and I agree..so what say you ES? What reply did you give to this man? When I say honest, you are right, she with honest with what she shared with us.

[FitChick]

She wasn't rude enough to insult his feelings by telling him she found him repulsive. I think that is commendable. He 'got the message,' which is the only thing that matters. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.