Two Weeks NC. It's hard.

[Willusmile]

It's been two weeks NC, and 2 month post BU (It was a 5 year relationship and I'm the dumpee.) We have absolutely no reason to talk to each other anymore since we moved out of the apartment. He's in his new apartment and Im back at home.

 

I did what every suggested not to do and I wrote him a email about how I really felt a month ago. I told him that I still loved him and that I was wanted to see if we could try again. He replied back to me quickly, that same night. He said that he did still care for me but he didnt want to confuse love, with us being used to each other. I don't really know what that means, but I told him I understood and asked him not to contact me anymore, and I would do the same.

 

He told me I could contact him at any point in time, and I didn't respond to him. It was not the answer I was looking for, and I did feel slightly worse. But at least now I knew for sure, I had my closure. So I've been focusing on eating better, I'm back in college after a 3 year break, and I've been going out actively with my girlfriends. I have no desire to meet someone else at this moment. He has not texted me or contacted me since. I have done the same.

 

Yet since going full NC i seem to feel much worse lately. I feel more alone than I did after we just broke up and I seem to miss him more and more as the days go. It's very hard, much harder than I thought. I have heard through mutual friends that he is pursuing another girl already, and they seem to heading towards dating very quickly. This doesn't make me feel much better of course, and Im just wondering how to handle it when I find out he has a girlfriend. Im sure it will happen soon. Im just venting here more than anything, I don't really have a question. But I appreciate anyway who takes the time to read this.

[LoveIs]

I wish I had something more useful to say than, "just hang in there." If you're like most people, it'll go in waves and cycles. Some days just really suck more than others.

[JimRiley]

When I hit the two week mark and started going into three weeks, I felt progressively worse myself. I didn't understand why at this point in time I would be feeling so bad. But I hung in there and pushed on. Set my goal for 60 days no contact and would stick to it. Eventually by the end of the week I got over that depression hump and felt much better.

 

You're going to have those ups and downs. It's expected. You're doing everything that is expected of you and you're still hanging in there. Good job! Just be positive, enjoy what you have now and what's around you. You'll make it!

[hellischrome]

for me mornings are the hardest part. Just because I hate mornings in general, and it was a bit better when I used to wake up with him. But yes, it's going to waves, unfortunately you won't notice it when you are in the middle of it but it will slightly improve. Personally, reading stories here on LS makes me feel better. Do something that makes you feel better even if it seems weird!

[Willusmile]

Yeah I guess I'm having a really rough week. I just wanted to vent more than anything. But I appreciate the thought!

[Willusmile]

When I hit the two week mark and started going into three weeks, I felt progressively worse myself. I didn't understand why at this point in time I would be feeling so bad. But I hung in there and pushed on. Set my goal for 60 days no contact and would stick to it. Eventually by the end of the week I got over that depression hump and felt much better.

 

You're going to have those ups and downs. It's expected. You're doing everything that is expected of you and you're still hanging in there. Good job! Just be positive, enjoy what you have now and what's around you. You'll make it!

 

 

I guess it's just something about the two weeks that takes it toll. Thank you for the kind words. I just have to stay positive.

[Willusmile]

for me mornings are the hardest part. Just because I hate mornings in general, and it was a bit better when I used to wake up with him. But yes, it's going to waves, unfortunately you won't notice it when you are in the middle of it but it will slightly improve. Personally, reading stories here on LS makes me feel better. Do something that makes you feel better even if it seems weird!

 

I hate mornings too lol. For me it tends to get worse at night since I work a late shift, I would get home around this time and he would be there waiting to chat with me. And I do feel better reading on LS. Just makes me feel better that Im not the only one having such a rough time.

[Ireallydontknow]

I'm at two weeks. I feel 70 good / 30 bad. I'm starting to fall out of love for her already. I'm starting to see how terrible of a person she really was. Yet I still miss that terrible person. She was my best friend. We were never apart. I was told the world needed more people like us. I guess the world was wrong.

[Dez]

I'm at two weeks. I feel 70 good / 30 bad. I'm starting to fall out of love for her already. I'm starting to see how terrible of a person she really was. Yet I still miss that terrible person. She was my best friend. We were never apart. I was told the world needed more people like us. I guess the world was wrong.

 

 

same with me too. i see how my ex was a super b***h, yet i still love her to death, she was my bestfriend, my girl, my everything.

[Willusmile]

I'm at two weeks. I feel 70 good / 30 bad. I'm starting to fall out of love for her already. I'm starting to see how terrible of a person she really was. Yet I still miss that terrible person. She was my best friend. We were never apart. I was told the world needed more people like us. I guess the world was wrong.

 

IM sorry to hear that. It's hard no matter how terrible that person may be, we were still in love with them. One step at a time though. We'll get there.

[DresdenKing]

Love is such an addiction. But it's helped me to note that all our behavior is very predictable... because it's merely science; a chemical bond. We got stuck in routines and patterns, and they included heavy oxytocin and dopamine rushes to our brains. We literally get addicted to it. Then we go NC and we're suddenly forced to kick the habit. And we're all capable of doing so, it just takes time. I don't know, thinking about it that way makes me feel better about it... maybe because it reminds me I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do and there are countless others in the exact same boat. Behold, the power of group commiseration. Hope you find some solace in these thoughts as well.

[Willusmile]

Love is such an addiction. But it's helped me to note that all our behavior is very predictable... because it's merely science; a chemical bond. We got stuck in routines and patterns, and they included heavy oxytocin and dopamine rushes to our brains. We literally get addicted to it. Then we go NC and we're suddenly forced to kick the habit. And we're all capable of doing so, it just takes time. I don't know, thinking about it that way makes me feel better about it... maybe because it reminds me I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do and there are countless others in the exact same boat. Behold, the power of group commiseration. Hope you find some solace in these thoughts as well.

 

At least we're all supporting each other. Even though we're all miserable. But we'll get past it.

[Brown-Eyez]

I think the awful realization sets in that there will be no miracle.

 

That the no contact in the beginning may be just waiting for them to realize their mistake and return...then that doesn't happen...and denial fades fast and is replaced with loss..this is where I am now sadly.