paigej91 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 We had gone on several (10+) dates in the past, but it's been about 2 months since we stopped dating and I don't think either of us think it's going anywhere at this point. We never verbalized that we were going to stop dating, it just seemed to happen on it's own- (because he seems too busy doing other things in his life right now and didn't want to make time for a new relationship, but was okay keeping things casual). He's never stated it, but his actions show he doesn't want to be in a relationship (maybe at all, or just not with me). Despite this, he will still ALWAYS pays for my dinner, drinks, etc when we hang out (even when I initiate it). Why is this?? Does him always paying for me indicate he still has a "soft spot" for me? I can't think of another time when a guy would pay for me each time and didn't like me somehow.
NateC Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Guys typically pay for dates because it's the social norm. Not everyone does it, though. It doesn't mean much aside from that he enjoys your company enough that money is a non-issue.
tbf Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Not necessarily. Some men are raised with the etiquette that men always pay when they're out with women. The other possibility is that during the course of your dating, he always paid so he's maintaining status quo, assuming you expect it. 3
timg41 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I was guilty of this. It just came to feel like the norm after always paying while together.
Els Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Depends on his culture/upbringing. Where I come from, men often do that even for female friends (though I usually point-blank refuse so as to enforce platonicity). 1
carhill Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 IMO, the best and most accurate answer will come from him. Each man's 'reasons' are different. From my own perspective and experience, I have done such (paid for social interactions) with women I consider friends, as a persistent habit, mainly stemming from socialization in such matters, not uncommon in my generation. However, I have not experienced paying for interactions with women I've formerly dated (with romantic intent) simply because, when those associations ended, they ended, entirely. For me, it's simpler and clearer that way.
Star Gazer Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I have a couple guy friends who insist on paying for me when we go out for a drink or lunch, but I think that's just their own personal code - has nothing to do with our *relationship.* 3
crosswordfiend Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I'm with everybody else on this one. Some guys are just like this. It's kind of like women who enjoy flirting for fun. It totally adds a bunch of noise to what would otherwise be a solid sign of interest.
theonlyjuan Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I do, even if I have lunch with my sister. 2
StanMusial Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I do, even if I have lunch with my sister. Yeah me too. I don't mind. I have more money than my sisters or my female friends. 1
crude Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Pavlov's dog. Men don't think rationally, just react based on conditioning. That's why it's funny to me when men say they're logical, rational, and not emotional like women.
SugarLips72 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I have 2 guy friends, one is very well off makes 6 figures and is probably a millionaire on paper, the other does pretty well for himself and both always pay for me when they see me in platonic setting.
nescafe1982 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 My BF likes to pay when he's out with just about anyone- friends, family, me, etc. Even when he's out with a group of people, he and his friends will vie with one another over who gets the check. I wouldn't read too much into it if a man picks up the check but it's not otherwise clear it's a date.
phineas Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I'll buy a few drinks here & there for lady friends when out in group. They do appreciate it. And i'm not doing it in hopes they will want me. However I hardly ever hang out one-on-one with women friends. If I do they usually pay their own way or we take turns buying rounds. But, even though almost every woman I know claims she don't use men to buy them drinks, almost all will do it & they each have a handful of "good friends" who want to get with them that they have no interest in that will pay their way whenever they call them. How else do women with crappy job's afford to go out 3 to 5 times a week? Because she isn't paying the majority of that time. Hence why I don't spend very much money on women I go out with until i'm sure they arn't just wasting my time.
Recommended Posts