Weird or normal?

[theedge]

Hey Love shackers!

 

A bit of background on me. I am 30, never had a girl friend in my life. I had 1 not sure what you would call it closest I can say is friends with benfits. I had fallen for her, but she never had the intention of being commited. I rarely had dates and when I did have dates they would last a few times and then it was done. My esteem because of past girls killing it has been very low. The last year 2 of the girls I dated when I asked "Where is this going?" I got the answer "I really do like you for your personality, but I just can't deal with your appearence" Now I know I am not a model but I am not pug fugly either lol 1 girl went as far as to say "The only way I would consider a relationship with you is if you got full facial reconstuctive surgery" I told her she had no tact and she said I am being honest and I think there is no point in sugar coating things.

 

I met another girl, but due to a serious situation of it being complicated it wouldn't work out. I started talking to someone online, but she was nervous to meet face to face. She lived about 1 hour away and I told her that we can do it on her turf and she could bring her friend. She agreed and we met, there was no pressure either way to start anything. We had a good time and she asked to set up another date to come to my turf.

 

We became close fast and I started knowing in my mind there was a future together. After about 5 weeks I brought up the idea of her being my girlfriend. Possibly caught her off guard but she said she was fine with it.

 

Its not going on 3 weeks of being offical and I really do like her. Now here is where people think its hmmm different from most people. With in a week of being official the talks of furture started coming up ie When we move in together, ideas of what area to live in. She has already discussed with me she has her wedding planned out and other things. Now for me I just figure its exactly as I said talk of future, but in the last week it has sprung up that she wants to move in with me come January-Febuary. I thought thats not bad, but I clued in its November now lol I know that shouldn't have been hard to know. So I think wait....Thats 2 months away!!! Some people have said thats just plain weird and way too fast to think about this soon. From my post it may sound like I have 2nd thoughts about moving this fast. 5 weeks we are only breaking the surface as to what the other is like and bad traits. Through all this though I have always wanted security in a relationship and so its working out well to that degree. I do feel a lot for her so maybe thats why the idea is not phasing me.

 

Now a few concerns......As I mentioned above I have always had people say they aren't attracted to me. They would never say "You look handsome" or things along those lines. In the time I have known her she always complimented me on my personality, but I can't recall more then 1 time that she has called me handsome or good looking. So with my esteem problems it does phase me. I always make her feel attractive as she is, but I also want to know she finds me attractive.

 

Both her and myself are 30 years old. This is going to sound bad but its a concern. I hope she is not with me for the wrong reasons. By this I mean she is 30, I commited relativly fast for most guys. This may all be in my head as well. I fear that her biological clock is ticking and she wants to settle down, get married and have kids. I don't want her with me because I am willing to commit and settle down where as the search for another guy would take too long. I know if she ever read this it would probably sound like I don't trust her. To be honest its all new to me so I am getting all confused lol

 

So tell me your opinions on this

[Sukotto]

Well you definately have self esteem problems and those girls that said you were ugly are just shallow bitches, beauty is more than skin deep. If you act like your super handsome and dress well and give off the vibes that your good looking then other people will believe it. Its about body language.

 

I wouldn't say i'm particularly good looking and at this moment in time I've not shaved for 6 days, i need a hair cut and i'm wearing a faded t-shirt and old jeans. The life of a programmer

 

Though if i was going out with friends or on a date i'll clean myself up good and when i'm out i'll act like i'm the best looking guy there and well it usually works, i dont even give girls the opportunity to say otherwise.

 

Now this girl that you've met well since you've never been in a proper relationship it might be hard to tell if she's sincere about whats going on, you should just watch out for signs that she's just taking advantage of your good nature. I'd just have faith at the moment that she is with you for the right reasons.

[theedge]

Oh I have no fear she is using me at all. We are both 50/50 kind of people. I just wonder if people would enter a relationship with the wrong person to settle down. I am a very easy going person, there is no doubt she is a great girl. Just that because of past people have been with me for the wrong reasons ie affection starved, wanted to be pleasured, someone who will treat them like a queen, boost their ego untill they find someone better. With her talking of future I don't see it that way of looking for someone else though. Its just new to me is all, and I do want to feel attractive to her.

[tanbark813]

Can you post a pic of yourself? I'm a little curious what would prompt a comment about needing reconstructive surgery. That's pretty harsh.

[paradissa1]

my husband and i moved in together after just 3 months of dating.needless to say it worked out.everyone was a bit leary but we are still together today and happy .........TAKE A CHANCE BUDDY

[theedge]

I would post a picture but that would take away my anonimity Trust me though I can assure you I am not a hidious monster lol I just have esteem issues is all.