Is snooping still considered bad if you found something?

[Lasticee]

I know a lot of people say snooping is bad, if you snoop then there's a lack of trust, if there's a lack of trust you shouldn't be in a relationship and so on.. But what if you snooped and you found something bad?

 

I usually take everything guys say with a grain of salt because guys my age (20) seems to say just whatever to get in a girl's pants. But the last guy who I dated for 3 years seemed like a really good guy, so even though I was picky, I gave him a chance because he really seemed THAT nice! He was almost everything I looked for in a guy - hardworking, blunt/honest (well he seemed like he was), considerate, supportive, well-mannered, seemed to treat women with respect. But when I went through his phone one time out of curiosity, I found out he was flirting with an ex, went to the club with another girl alone and tried to get close with her, flirted and asked a co-worker on a date, and texted his best friend how he saw these two "thick" women and how badly he wants to bang them. We talked about it and he gave me some lame excuses, which I don't know why I even believe at the time..

 

Anyway, the point is, it doesn't matter how "nice" the guy I am dating is, I'm going to snoop only once. If he's good, then I will NEVER check again. If I find something I consider as cheating, then I don't see why snooping is bad? I mean, if I were to never snoop, then I would've probably went on believing this guy was perfectly faithful to me. Nothing about his behavior would've led me to think he was doing those things if I were to not snoop (he's that good people).

[miss_jaclynrae]

Snooping is unhealthy.

 

 

 

Some things we just aren't meant to know.

[Betterthanthis13]

If it was just curiosity that made you go through his phone- why did you snoop to do it, why not do it right in front of him?

 

Something about his behavior must have been bothering you- even though you keep saying he was so great- what was it?

 

What do you ultimately want from this guy, or any guy?

[hotpotato]

Most of the time you won't have to snoop. Chances are you will stumble upon their misdeeds by accident.

 

~~~

 

I've snooped before, but I dont touch phones. You are a brave girl. I know women who have gotten beaten up for going through a mans phone.

[L1ght]

In my experiences snooping is the result of mistrust. The question is where did the mistrust come from? If I trust my partner I don't feel the need to snoop as the relationship has sense of openness and transparency. Once I feel like my partner is not being open and transparent I have every right to snoop because its obviously time to put my best interests first before I get screwed over by somebody I can not trust.