MrTurk Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I've met a few women in person through OLD. So I really wouldnt categorize that first meet n greet as a date. So before my OLD era....EVERY woman that I went on a date with turned into a serious relationship. I seem to be the type that can sense if a girl is my type right off the bat. I dont need to go on 3, 4, 5 dates to see if I like her. My first gf was at 16. Dated her almost 2 years. Then single for year or so. This was the pattern for me with all 5 of my gf's....and then at 32 I met my ex-wife. We got married 2 years later....divorced after 5 years. How rare is this for men and women to not have to date around to find the one? Or is it because when I was single....I wasnt on the prowl going on date after date like others do? .
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Let me put it this way... Have you found the one? 3
StanMusial Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I've met a few women in person through OLD. So I really wouldnt categorize that first meet n greet as a date. So before my OLD era....EVERY woman that I went on a date with turned into a serious relationship. I seem to be the type that can sense if a girl is my type right off the bat. I dont need to go on 3, 4, 5 dates to see if I like her. My first gf was at 16. Dated her almost 2 years. Then single for year or so. This was the pattern for me with all 5 of my gf's....and then at 32 I met my ex-wife. We got married 2 years later....divorced after 5 years. How rare is this for men and women to not have to date around to find the one? Or is it because when I was single....I wasnt on the prowl going on date after date like others do? . I know several of guys that hardly dated at all and married the first girl they had sex with. It's not as rare as you'd think for guys to not date around. Plenty of guys struggle to get a date period, just look around this forum.
Author MrTurk Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Let me put it this way... Have you found the one? Yes I have.
Star Gazer Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Yes I have. You're single and not the result of death, so no, you haven't. 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Yes I have. You're single and not the result of death, so no, you haven't. She makes a valid point...
Author MrTurk Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 Let me put it this way... Have you found the one? Yes I have. You're single and not the result of death, so no, you haven't. She makes a valid point... No there is no valid point. I did find THE one....but she passed away. .
xxoo Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Did you know these women fairly well before you started dating? Know them through work or school? A lot of the dead-end dating comes from dating strangers. 1
Star Gazer Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 No there is no valid point. I did find THE one....but she passed away. . I thought up divorced your wife, not that she passed.
carhill Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Did you know these women fairly well before you started dating? Know them through work or school? A lot of the dead-end dating comes from dating strangers. That's a good point. I did a lot of 'stranger' dating from my early 20's to mid 30's and the results were mostly dating experiences which never resulted in relationships. Perhaps those experiences, over time, honed skills in both picking better who to continue with and how to continue in a manner which they found attractive, since similar dating after did result in relationships and a marriage. I did note that, as opposed to prior, I proactively ended both dating interactions as well as burgeoning relationships far more frequently after my mid-30's. Perhaps the OP's experiences are a result of having a naturally good 'read' on women; perhaps he's just the kind of man who is widely attractive as well as having accomplished relationship skills, so can 'get along' with most any woman he 'picks'. My experience with friends and acquaintances who quickly move from one marriage to another or one relationship to another is that they have both social 'status', meaning popularity in the community/social circle, as well as having a fluid and practiced way of interacting with the opposite gender, whether that be their partner/spouse or any member of said gender. This was touched upon in the 'successful men' thread. Success breeds more success, especially when the success stems from an early age. Perhaps the OP is an example of that.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 How rare is this for men and women to not have to date around to find the one? Or is it because when I was single....I wasnt on the prowl going on date after date like others do? 2/3 of my first dates turned into exclusive relationships BUT my lifetime number of first dates is only 9. Most of the successful daters on LS can knock off 9 first dates in a couple of weeks or a month. I think one's style of getting to know women plays a big part in this. My natural instinct was to get to know a woman before asking her out -- this resulted in a lot of rejection and friendzoning but the few women that didn't do this were obviously interested in pursuing relationships. I think you find that most successful daters secure first dates relatively quickly after meeting someone and get to know her WHILE dating her. But since you are starting from almost ground-zero, you could see why a lower percentage of these first dates evolve into exclusive relationships.
xxoo Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 2/3 of my first dates turned into exclusive relationships BUT my lifetime number of first dates is only 9. Most of the successful daters on LS can knock off 9 first dates in a couple of weeks or a month. I think one's style of getting to know women plays a big part in this. My natural instinct was to get to know a woman before asking her out -- this resulted in a lot of rejection and friendzoning but the few women that didn't do this were obviously interested in pursuing relationships. I think you find that most successful daters secure first dates relatively quickly after meeting someone and get to know her WHILE dating her. But since you are starting from almost ground-zero, you could why a lower percentage of these first dates evolve into exclusive relationships. But what defines a successful dater? I wouldn't consider a ton of dead-end dating successful dating. Dating that leads to satisfying relationships is successful dating to me. I really haven't dated much at all. I fell in love with a guy in my group of friends, dated him for 2.5 years, and married him. Does that make me successful or unsucessful at dating? It was a success from my perspective!
man_in_the_box Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 First girl I ever 'dated', still together so yes it can happen.
Author MrTurk Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 I thought up divorced your wife, not that she passed. My ex divorced me. The woman that passed away, was the women I was dating before I met my ex-wife. .
hotpotato Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 No there is no valid point. I did find THE one....but she passed away. . Im sorry to hear that, Mr. Turk.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 But what defines a successful dater? I wouldn't consider a ton of dead-end dating successful dating. Dating that leads to satisfying relationships is successful dating to me. Successful means being able to confidently navigate the biggest pressure point in the dating process. For me -- and I think a good number of guys -- it's the initial attraction part that's most daunting. If you can regularly attract women, you'll eventually meet the right one -- no pressure. If you struggle to attract women, then it puts a lot of pressure on dating situations. You have to choose between pushing ahead with a relationship or facing a long dry spell. At some point, dealing with the latter becomes too much to bear.
Author MrTurk Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) If you can regularly attract women, you'll eventually meet the right one Just because someones attractive to the opposite sex....doesnt mean they automatically know how to sustain a solid long term relationship. Some of the most superficial, egotistical people are attractive....and have zero respect or manners towards the opposite sex. If you regularly attract women you have a better opportunity to find the right one, than someone that is less attractive. But you can also through in the mix....the "type" of women an attractive guy is attracting. You are correct....but there are a ton of variables to it. . Edited August 25, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fixed quote
MissBee Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 There are more people that I'm not a good match for than those that I am. Dating is exploration and figuring out if we can possibly be serious....even after we decide we could possibly build something, sometimes it still doesn't pan out. I have gone on dates, had fun, liked a guy, hung out more but knew it wouldn't become serious. So no, most of my dates do not become serious relationships. Truth be told, I always figure those who go from one serious relationship to a next easily must be easily pleased or like anyone...because it seems so weird to me that every person you go out with or date you become inlove with them and are serious.
todreaminblue Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Never had to date around before,i know when someone si the type of guy i could see myself with,i am not the type to go with someone off the bat,I hardly ever feel attraction to be with someone,I have a problem with people trying to control me, so i am fiercely independent, have been so from eight years old,was taught to stand on my own or should i say conditioned to, hate admitting i would ever need anyone....i have been blessed to have peopel come into my life and withotu em asking have been there for me...so for me to give that up and be committed it has to be someone special...so when i feel something even if its little, ill kamkaze.....because it is rare........ until recently..... i have never developed feelings for someone who hasnt had feelings for me......i am pretty heart smart.......i normally sense that something is returned......i guess i learned my lesson...dont trust my heart..it lies....lol...not really laughing just wanted to lighten the mood.....so ....lol...haha funny.stupid heart..deb.
Recommended Posts