Betterthanthis13 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 a friend of mine (Kara) is in love with a MM (Jimmy) and has been with him for 2 years. He tells her he is in love with her but can't leave his family even though his marriage is dead and he and his wife (Alexis) don't have sex anymore. They have 2 kids. He says he will divorce her when the time is right. Kara is head over heels for Jimmy. She thinks that when Jimmy finally leaves Alexis, he will marry her. I also know Jimmy and Alexis personally. I'm freaking out. Alexis has a fetish where she likes to make Jimmy sleep with other women. They are swingers but it just really turns Alexis on to think that Jimmy can get girls to fall in love with him. They laugh about Kara and how gullible she is to fall for it. Alexis reads all her texts and gets a kick out of the fact that Kara is so smitten with her husband. Jimmy and Alexis are freaks and use this scenario to better their crazy sex life. I'm afraid if I tell Kara she will be upset, because she loves Jimmy and I don't want to hurt her. And if I told, Alexis and Jimmy would be mad at me. It seems like everyone is happy and getting what they want. I feel like I should mind my own business. What should I do?
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" Think about who you are. What do you stand for. Are people that are capable of such evil really worth having as friends. Another saying...you are the company you keep. 2
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 By the way...your friend is not an OW, she is a victim....the cruelty being done...is beyond words for me right now.. How do some people actually look in the mirror each day? 5
Author Betterthanthis13 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" Think about who you are. What do you stand for. Are people that are capable of such evil really worth having as friends. Another saying...you are the company you keep. That's true. I shouldn't be friends with people like this. I'm going to delete them all from Facebook. 1
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 By the way...your friend is not an OW, she is a victim....the cruelty being done...is beyond words for me right now.. How do some people actually look in the mirror each day? How is that any different than an OW and MM, talking about the BS, laughing about her being gullible and planning the demise of her marriage? If your friend is happy to dish it out and plan a future with a man whose wife she THINKS doesn't know, how is she really a victim? I have a hard time believing this is true but in case it is, yes tell your friend. 11
orangegirl Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 How is that any different than an OW and MM, talking about the BS, laughing about her being gullible and planning the demise of her marriage? If your friend is happy to dish it out and plan a future with a man whose wife she THINKS doesn't know, how is she really a victim? I have a hard time believing this is true but in case it is, yes tell your friend. No, don't tell her. I think the husband should tell her, not you. Stay out of it. What are you nuts!? 1
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 In this case the mm is not doing anything behind his wife's back, they are using another persons lack of Self Respect and are cheerleading them all the way to self destruction...to *let me barf* spice up their sex life. How twisted of an individual to you have to be...to get sexual pleasure out of hurting another? Even if the other person inadvertently signed up for it. 1
orangegirl Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 In this case the mm is not doing anything behind his wife's back, they are using another persons lack of Self Respect and are cheerleading them all the way to self destruction...to *let me barf* spice up their sex life. How twisted of an individual to you have to be...to get sexual pleasure out of hurting another? Even if the other person inadvertently signed up for it. Ppl enjoy having sex with multiple partners, who are you to judge. Unfortunately, stuff happens. Sex is sex.
fanine Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Ppl enjoy having sex with multiple partners, who are you to judge. Unfortunately, stuff happens. Sex is sex. If this is some kind of sex game for the married couple then they should at least find a third party who knows this is all a game. Multiple partners is fine if all parties involved are clear about the situation, but not one like this. 5
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 In this case the mm is not doing anything behind his wife's back, they are using another persons lack of Self Respect and are cheerleading them all the way to self destruction...to *let me barf* spice up their sex life. How twisted of an individual to you have to be...to get sexual pleasure out of hurting another? Even if the other person inadvertently signed up for it. I don't see any difference than thinking "love" is a reason to deceive and hurt another. She BELIEVES the wide doesn't know. Lets say I purposely sit next to some thug types and mention how the back door lock on my business is broken and I hope no one breaks in and steals the weeks earnings that I hid in the freezer in the break room. Then me and my police buddy sit in the dark room and arrest the thugs we set up. The thugs weren't actually victims. It was their intent to do harm, we just offered them the opportunity. I do believe your friend should be told. 6
HopingAgain Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 How is that any different than an OW and MM, talking about the BS, laughing about her being gullible and planning the demise of her marriage? If your friend is happy to dish it out and plan a future with a man whose wife she THINKS doesn't know, how is she really a victim? I have a hard time believing this is true but in case it is, yes tell your friend. I agree with this but I would just back off from all of these people and not say a thing. But this reminds me of that old saying "the pit you dig for someone else will be the one you fall into." This OW thinks she is helping to plot against the wife but the tables are really being turned on her. Oh well!
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I don't see any difference than thinking "love" is a reason to deceive and hurt another. She BELIEVES the wide doesn't know. I never said there was. Wrong is wrong, no matter who the wrong is being committed against or by whom.
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Then me and my police buddy sit in the dark room and arrest the thugs we set up. What is more accurate is...... Then me and my police buddy sit in the dark room and masturbate each other and have the most amazing orgasms watching those "losers".
fanine Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I think if the OP was going to tell anyone, it is the man involved. She can say she knows what the whole deal is on both sides. I am sure he would not want the OW to know the real truth, so if he is not a complete **** he could at least end it with her, say he wants to concentrate on his marriage or something. Yep she will be heartbroken but better than finding out she was being used to spice up their sex life. I agree the OW should never have got involved with a MM in the first place, and she has played her part in the whole deception process, thinking she was doing all this behind the wife's back, but this situation is a bit more extreme. I would think most OWs don't laugh at the wife behind their back or think it is all a big game. Most will have a massive amount of guilt. Plus what the hell do this couple think could happen if she did find out the truth? Finding out something like this could literally destroy someone and is very dangerous.
HopingAgain Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 First let me say that YES what is happening is cruel. That being said, I really can't believe some of the hypocrisy I'm reading. Somehow its acceptable for BS to be lied to and gaslighted and laughed at by OW and MM. But God forbid an OW be deceived by a man and his wife. 7
ComingInHot Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 It sounds like one person in this threesome is being left in the dark, betrayed, lied to & and made to look/feel the fool. Please help her to come into the light so she can make decisions about her life that are currently being made/manipulated for her. 4
bentleychic Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 First let me say that YES what is happening is cruel. That being said, I really can't believe some of the hypocrisy I'm reading. Somehow its acceptable for BS to be lied to and gaslighted and laughed at by OW and MM. But God forbid an OW be deceived by a man and his wife. I think that was the point the OP intended to be made by posting this thread to begin with, tbh. 3
fanine Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 First let me say that YES what is happening is cruel. That being said, I really can't believe some of the hypocrisy I'm reading. Somehow its acceptable for BS to be lied to and gaslighted and laughed at by OW and MM. But God forbid an OW be deceived by a man and his wife. I'm certainly not saying it is acceptable for BS to be lied to by the MM or for the MM to gaslight them. MM should not lie to the OW or gas light them. OW should not stay involved when they find out the truth about their MM either! Or OW should not get involved if they know the truth in the first place. To me it just sounds like this is a pretty nasty, selfish, narcissistic couple... 2
HopingAgain Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I think that was the point the OP intended to be made by posting this thread to begin with, tbh. You're probably right!
HopingAgain Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I'm certainly not saying it is acceptable for BS to be lied to by the MM or for the MM to gaslight them. MM should not lie to the OW or gas light them. OW should not stay involved when they find out the truth about their MM either! Or OW should not get involved if they know the truth in the first place. To me it just sounds like this is a pretty nasty, selfish, narcissistic couple... No doubt they do sound like twisted people, possibly even sociopathic. But its kind of hard to feel sorry for OW in this scenario when she thinks that she's plotting with MM against the wife. Its like a thief expecting sympathy from others when the thief is finally stolen from. 2
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 a friend of mine (Kara) is in love with a MM (Jimmy) and has been with him for 2 years. He tells her he is in love with her but can't leave his family even though his marriage is dead and he and his wife (Alexis) don't have sex anymore. They have 2 kids. He says he will divorce her when the time is right. Kara is head over heels for Jimmy. She thinks that when Jimmy finally leaves Alexis, he will marry her. I also know Jimmy and Alexis personally. I'm freaking out. Alexis has a fetish where she likes to make Jimmy sleep with other women. They are swingers but it just really turns Alexis on to think that Jimmy can get girls to fall in love with him. They laugh about Kara and how gullible she is to fall for it. Alexis reads all her texts and gets a kick out of the fact that Kara is so smitten with her husband. Jimmy and Alexis are freaks and use this scenario to better their crazy sex life. I'm afraid if I tell Kara she will be upset, because she loves Jimmy and I don't want to hurt her. And if I told, Alexis and Jimmy would be mad at me. It seems like everyone is happy and getting what they want. I feel like I should mind my own business. What should I do? I think you tell your friend that the married OW told you that she and husband discussed the affair, and are reconciling, and that she is considering letting him have a girlfriend as long as they stay married. I hate lying, and I stink at it, but it gets the pertinent details out without being hurtful.
Author Betterthanthis13 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 I think you tell your friend that the married OW told you that she and husband discussed the affair, and are reconciling, and that she is considering letting him have a girlfriend as long as they stay married. I hate lying, and I stink at it, but it gets the pertinent details out without being hurtful. I don't know. Kara is no saint either. Shes not a very nice person in general- plus Jimmy and Alexis have a lot of money- jimmy pays for Kara's condo and her car and gives her an allowance every week so she doesn't have to work. It's complicated. I know she thinks Jimmy loves her but- it looks like she is using him anyway. 1
Tayla Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 ironic given the title of this post. Seems that ones mouth is not shut if its hit the internet. Did it get to the right ears...probably not. But then again...I consider this OP's posting less then believable. The OW is two years into the relations and has no clue...highly doubtful. 1
bentleychic Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 But then again...I consider this OP's posting less then believable. The OW is two years into the relations and has no clue...highly doubtful. Yes and given that the original poster is normally on the infidelity board, this definitely feels more like a jab or a "learn your lesson" type of "tale" to OW/OM. 2
orangegirl Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 If this is some kind of sex game for the married couple then they should at least find a third party who knows this is all a game. Multiple partners is fine if all parties involved are clear about the situation, but not one like this. I guess. But people do it all the time. Right??
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