Saw my ex after 1 year NC, what now?

[nadina]

Hi guys, I need some advice on how to deal with this situation with my ex.

 

So we broke up over a year ago, we were together on and off for about 3 years.. he was the one that kept walking away as he couldn't be in a relationship (we were in our early 20's at the time) he said he felt 'pressured' in a relationship, but after a few weeks or months, he would always come back saying he missed me and still loved me. We were very much in love in the first year, and he always said what we had was special and hadn't experienced anything like it... which is why he always kept coming back, but obviously he couldn't deal with his emotions. Anyway the last time this happened I told him I couldn't do it any more that it had to be the last time (stupid I know because we were still very young). We ended up arguing, he of course walked away as he couldn't deal with arguments, much easier for him to walk away then to deal with the problem.

 

Anyway, I knew that we weren't going to work out at the time as he obviously couldn't be in a relationship so I went no contact, deleted his number and off social networking too.. And tried to heal and move on.

 

We saw eachother after a few months, and he told me he still had strong feelings for me but that he wasn't good for me... a few months passed again and we bumped in to eachother again and ended up kissing.. he told me to spend the night with him, I told him no way ( I didn't want him to think I would have a one night stand with him) we texted briefly after that meeting but then I didn't hear from him again.

 

That was until over a year later that he messaged me on my birthday. I was really surprised as I was expecting to hear from him again, and well I wasn't mad at him or anything any more so I replied thanking him for the message. In this past year I have thought about him a lot, I've dated other guys and kept myself busy to move on from him.. and I do think I am over the relationship... or at least I thought I was.

 

Coincidently a few days after my birthday I bumped into him randomly... the first time we had seen eachother since we kissed over a year ago. It was a shock but I was happy to see him and we had a brief catch up, he asked me if i would talk to him and understood if i didn't want to, but i told him no of course i would (i wasn't upset or mad with him anymore)..

 

The thing is, he told me he had been thinking about me and he obviously messaged me on my birthday, but after about a 10 min conversation, it got a bit awkward. He said his friends were watching and said 'see you around' ...I was like ok, fine... and thought it was strange he didn't hug me, kiss me on the cheek or even say it was good to see me. Especially since he was the one that initiated contact only a few days before and had also told me he had been thinking about me.

 

Anyway, I saw him the next day and he completely ignored me... I was totally surprised! He didn't have to talk to me, but a wave or a hello, or fancy seeing you again?

 

Our meeting left me feeling confused, why would he react in this way?

My friend told me he will contact me again, and then I can ask him what was up... but I thought I'm not going to wait around for a year to see if he will contact me again... I waited a few weeks and decided to message him and ask him why did he react in that way, I was a little disappointed as I was happy to see an old friend and thought he would be too.

I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it.. and there was something else I wanted to bring up. Turns out a few months back I heard through a friend that he told his friends I was crazy (yeah I reacted emotionally when we broke up, and whenever he hurt me every time he walked away and came back - it really messed with my head!). So I kind of wanted to bring it up and ask him why the hell was he telling people that? We were very much in love when we were together, so I thought he would respect our relationship!

 

Anyway I didn't expect a response, but he did reply and said he doesn't understand why I thought he was off with me, that he was rly happy to see me and has no issue towards me.

 

Now, I dont know what to reply back... I kind of wish I hadn't messaged him at all as I don't want this to turn into an argument, but at the same time I really want to get things off my chest. I want to tell him that he ignored me the following day, and that he could have gvien me a nicer goodbye.. I also want to mention that I heard he told his friends I was crazy and I didnt believe it, but now after his reaction towards me when he saw me I believe it now.

 

What do you guys think ? What is going through his head, and should I send this response?

 

Thanks..

Edited August 24, 2013 by nadina

[templeofmax]

I am sorry, but judging for VERY recent experience, NOBODY knows what is going in his head, only him! If you are looking for the why of his behavior, you will just be wasting time running in circles. Continue NC again. Maybe he is immature and is playing stupid mind games.