FearingTEN Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 So, I am in day 4 of NC and it got me thinking.... My question is plain & simple... How can dumpers be so f*cking cold? I mean like, I don't understand how they can go from being so nice and loving one day, then break it off & act like your an enemy. My ex girlfriend broke up with me after 2 and a half years and began dating another guy 2 weeks later. I dont understand how she can be so damn cold. I gave her everything she wanted and we absolutly loved each other. Im talking like commited love. And then when she started datig this other guy, she basically blocked me on everything and told me the harshest things you could think of. How is this even possible. Im hurt and confused at the same time & beggining to question wether she even loved me or not.
templeofmax Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 She is hurt and on a rebound relationship, which seldom last. People cope different ways, especially dumpers. Its just coping mechanisms based on personality, but guess what, they cannot hide their feelings forever. Don't worry about her, worry about you. They don't do it to hurt you, they do it because its the only way they know how to cope. Dumpees usually just go through the loss stages early on. Dumpers start doing it before the dump and then cope with the loss in ways that are not healthy, but they just refuse to deal with the feelings right away, try to escape from them, by for example, engaging in rebound relationships. Do you really think she feels for this new guy the same as with you or do you think she wants to love him the same? Even if she wanted to, love is not a creation of our own devices.
barky2 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 They are mean because they , right now, arent the same person you know. For some weird reason they are trying to stick their head in the sand to not deal with it. Its no reflection on you, its thrm. Use it as power to continue moving forward. Barky
JustSomeoneHurt Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 So, I am in day 4 of NC and it got me thinking.... My question is plain & simple... How can dumpers be so f*cking cold? I mean like, I don't understand how they can go from being so nice and loving one day, then break it off & act like your an enemy. My ex girlfriend broke up with me after 2 and a half years and began dating another guy 2 weeks later. I dont understand how she can be so damn cold. I gave her everything she wanted and we absolutly loved each other. Im talking like commited love. And then when she started datig this other guy, she basically blocked me on everything and told me the harshest things you could think of. How is this even possible. Im hurt and confused at the same time & beggining to question wether she even loved me or not. The answer to your question depends on the reason for the dumping. Not all dumpers are mean and cold, and sometimes break ups are extremely painful. In your case your ex had someone lined up (the guy 2 weeks later). I highly doubt she randomly broke up with you and met him 2 weeks later. She probably already knew him and liked him, but that doesn't mean she was physically cheating, so she broke it off with you and went with him. That's the emotional coldness you are feeling. When someone's feelings for you go away you end up with a sense of coldness. On the other hand sometimes two people don't work out and the break up ends up being very difficult to deal with for both parties, with an ensuing depression...
Author FearingTEN Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Well, Not to sound concieted but I think I was a pretty good bf. I never treated her badly, never yelled or called her names, always supported her. And she began crushing her current bf a year into our relationship. So i dont see how she can be so cold? I didnt do anything wrong..
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