The myth of "Women should initiate more..."

[jma500]

And there are millions of relationships because she was interested. Fate favors the bold.

 

Not buying it.

 

There is no "should". Men DO approach. And those that do tend to get the girl.

 

Again not buying it. Some of the men that do succeed. Most men don't and have to place their necks on the chopping block over and over again and for what?

[xxoo]

Again not buying it. Some of the men that do succeed. Most men don't and have to place their necks on the chopping block over and over again and for what?

 

Most men find partners. This is a fact.

 

Why stick your neck out? For a shot at what you want!

[tbf]

Im glad you feel that way..women who harp on needing a man to lead her as if she is a child seems like theyre looking for almost another father figure..its kind of creepy imo

Social dominance is indicative of high T levels. If you look at the traits of alpha males, protectiveness, leadership qualities, provider, socially and physically dominant, confidence, high sex drive, they're all indicative of high T levels which translates to greater likelihood of the survival of mother and child.

[joystickd]

Most men find partners. This is a fact.

 

Why stick your neck out? For a shot at what you want!

The same could be asked of you. Hate to lose that entitlement I guess right.

[xxoo]

The bottom line is that you don't have to approach women. And they don't have to approach you. Stalemate!

 

.....except that other guys are approaching and charming the women you want. If you are going to get mad at someone, why aren't you mad at those guys?

[xxoo]

The same could be asked of you. Hate to lose that entitlement I guess right.

 

I don't want a guy that doesn't have the boldness and desire to approach. I actually don't want him, as in he doesn't get my panties wet, so why would I approach?

[jma500]

Why would I want a guy whom I had to approach? First off, I'm always going to have the nagging suspicion that I'm more into him than he is into me. Second, there is absolutely nothing attractive about a gutless male. The guys who wait or expect women to approach are the same ones who don't have an ounce of boldness in their meek little bodies; the same ones who don't know how to lead. I can feel my vagina drying up already.

 

A woman approaching a man seems totally contradictory to everything I prefer and wholly out of place. God god, there are so few "real men" out there these days the least one could do is muster up a little masculine courage to approach a woman to express interest.

 

Then there's the variation between how men and women select mates. I know some men swear women only want 'hot bad boys' but a moderately attractive but funny, interesting guy is going to gain my interest much faster than a pretty boy. However I can't see wit and intelligence from a cold approach. Alternatively, most men like a woman's looks and go from there.

 

Because a man doesn't approach he is gutless? I don't approach women and yet as a photographer I do some pretty bold things to get images. I do not approach women not because I am gutless but because I am smart enough to know my approach would not be accepted.

[ThaWholigan]

Again not buying it. Some of the men that do succeed. Most men don't and have to place their necks on the chopping block over and over again and for what?

 

Contrefaire was a little harsh in her post, but this is basically what she meant when she said "gutless".

 

When did we as men start seeing talking to women as "putting our necks on chopping blocks"?. I was guilty of the same mindset when I was younger too - hell I'm still trying to break it now. Seriously, sometimes it doesn't hurt to even say something as innocuous as "hello".

[PJKino]

Contrefaire was a little harsh in her post, but this is basically what she meant when she said "gutless".

 

When did we as men start seeing talking to women as "putting our necks on chopping blocks"?. I was guilty of the same mindset when I was younger too - hell I'm still trying to break it now. Seriously, sometimes it doesn't hurt to even say something as innocuous as "hello".

 

Harsh rejection in a public place where alot of people can see is not a fun experience..

 

I realize its something i have to get over but for women to call guys out for being gutless and not men just because some of us are shy or have anxiety is pretty trashy imo

[Revolver]

For the most part

 

A woman's default answer when asked out/approached is no a mans in the same situation is yes

[tbf]

Harsh rejection in a public place where alot of people can see is not a fun experience..

 

I realize its something i have to get over but for women to call guys out for being gutless and not men just because some of us are shy or have anxiety is pretty trashy imo

 

I don't. Women are not interested in men like me. They like me as a friend only. Only certain men qualify as a partner. I take umbrage with your arrogant assumptions about men who do not.

So both of you feel that women are responsible for your personal emotional issues? Why would an entire gender change their biological and social imperatives to make your lives easier?

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

OP, I agree with guys should be happy to be the ones approaching and it'd be much worse if women approached more. I am very happy that that is how it usually is. Everyday, everywhere, it is endless probabilities with women I come across. I am a very selective person and I like that the probabilities keep their distance unless I choose to try to make them a reality. It just simplifies everything for me. I go for the girls I want and the girls I don't want don't bother me. Total win win. I don't understand why some guys think it's bad.

 

I've been approached before by some women. I don't always find them attractive, to me. I don't care who initiates as long as we don't have to make too much bull**** small talk and can get right on with having fun.

[PJKino]

So both of you feel that women are responsible for your personal emotional issues? Why would an entire gender change their biological and social imperatives to make your lives easier?

 

Huh? i didnt say they have to date me i simply think its trashy to call men names because they dont fit your stringent views of what a man should be

[jma500]

Contrefaire was a little harsh in her post, but this is basically what she meant when she said "gutless".

 

When did we as men start seeing talking to women as "putting our necks on chopping blocks"?. I was guilty of the same mindset when I was younger too - hell I'm still trying to break it now. Seriously, sometimes it doesn't hurt to even say something as innocuous as "hello".

 

I am older than you. It is a chopping block when you know they would never wish to speak to you nor accept your approach.

[xxoo]

I can see how a man would take it hard to hear that women consider men fearful of approaching as gutless and unattractive. It's not about disrespecting anyone as a person. You may be amazing and strong and wonderful in other ways, but this is a very real reason many woman aren't going to feel sexual attraction.

[jma500]

So both of you feel that women are responsible for your personal emotional issues? Why would an entire gender change their biological and social imperatives to make your lives easier?

 

Never once did I blame women for anything but I cannot stand these arrogant assumptions about men not approaching. I never said women should approach either nor anything about being emotional. Do not put words in my mouth.

[PJKino]

I can see how a man would take it hard to hear that women consider men fearful of approaching as gutless and unattractive. It's not about disrespecting anyone as a person.

 

Calling someone gutless or a weak man is not disrespecting them as a person please

 

It's a classless trashy thing to do..

[ThaWholigan]

What would women approaching a man change? - It's not like they don't already. Sh*t, I've been approached before!

 

It's frightening but also strangely liberating to be able to just go and talk to a strange woman on a whim. You know how many times I strike out? Publicly? More time, I expect it and I still do it because you never know. It's like when I first played guitar and my friends had all done it for much longer. The weeks after I had blisters all over and my fingers hurt. I was like "how do you continue?", and they were just like "You have to keep doing it through the pain - eventually you will develop callouses and your fingers will be much stronger. Won't hurt after that".

 

That's kinda how it is with socializing with people for me. You develop thicker skin, callouses. I've had awkward moments all the time, even with people I knew vaguely. I made myself look foolish in front of some very beautiful women, including the girl I would later have some feelings for. I could put the first day I met her in a comedy movie - that bad. Eventually, you get better at dealing with it and even though sometimes it's still difficult, you tell yourself that you can still go and talk to her like you're both humans - because you are.

 

Simple really.

[xxoo]

Calling someone gutless or a weak man is not disrespecting them as a person please

 

It's a classless trashy thing to do..

 

When the man is asking "why don't women approach?", how do you suggest we better answer the question if the real reason is that we require the guts to approach for attraction?

[tbf]

talk to her like you're both humans - because you are.

When you lift the lid, that's all it is.

 

The basis for confidence is that there's nothing to lose by interacting and if interactions aren't always positive, you're resilient.

[jma500]

I can see how a man would take it hard to hear that women consider men fearful of approaching as gutless and unattractive. It's not about disrespecting anyone as a person. You may be amazing and strong and wonderful in other ways, but this is a very real reason many woman aren't going to feel sexual attraction.

Fearful? Another assumption. Then they should stop saying there are no good men. We are there but because we don't choose to do what you want us to do you are not interested. Heaven forbid a man be a human being.

Edited August 25, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[xxoo]

Fearful? Another assumption. Then they should stop saying there are no good men. We are there but because we don't choose to do what you want us to do you are not interested. Heaven forbid a man be a human being.

 

You are making assumptions. The women who claim there are no good men are another minority, and I am not among them.

[PJKino]

When the man is asking "why don't women approach?", how do you suggest we better answer the question if the real reason is that we require the guts to approach for attraction?

 

How about say i prefer the man approaches and end it there? degrading men who dont approach shows a lack of character

[William]

Did some editing and reined in an unruly poster, so there may be a few ambiguities in quotations but the gist of the topical conversation is retained. Please remain topical and civil in responses. Thanks.

[jma500]

You are making assumptions. The women who claim there are no good men are another minority, and I am not among them.

 

Not an assumption. I have read it many times on ls. Nice evasion of my calling you out on the word "fearful".