The myth of "Women should initiate more..."

[tbf]

You are still missing my point

Your point lacks substance. It's based on subjective emotional preferences and biases.

[PJKino]

It's based on subjective emotional preferences and biases.

 

So is your's youre just hiding behind science

[tbf]

So is your's youre just hiding behind science

Expand on this.

[Imajerk17]

It always amuses me how these types of threads devolve into a discussion about fairness. I'm coming to see that worrying too much about fairness is a waste of time. The really successful people (in all fields) don't concern themselves with that fairness stuff. I'm not saying that they aren't ethical or that they don't care about other people... They're just too busy hustling, seeing opportunities and going for them, and overall just making things happen.

Edited August 24, 2013 by Imajerk17

[Divasu]

Yeah, I've had that happen to me. Wasn't actually interest though.

 

Yeah, that's a stinker.

 

That's why I toned down flirtyness/friendliness because it can be interpreted the wrong way and I prefer not to mislead anyone. I've seen this happen many times over with a female friend of mine, she is very personable with everyone but not necessarily interested in them romantically. She enjoys friendships with women and men, but, the men aren't looking for friendship with her...

 

So I can understand why, in that case, men are hesitant to pursue. No one wants to waste their time on someone who isn't interested. I think a good indicator of interest for men (and I know this specifically with the friend I mentioned above of which she doesn't do anything physical wise), is when she makes herself available to spend time with you and welcomes physical interaction after a couple of dates.

 

Of course there are women who do that and aren't romantically interested but are doing so just for the attention it brings which you have to watch out for.

[PJKino]

Expand on this.

 

I think science is a convenient excuse of why you cant approach in reality you like it because it makes it easier for a women moreso then men early on because they dont have to put themselves out there and risk rejection..

 

Nothing wrong with hat i just wish more women were honest as to why they prefer it

[tbf]

I think science is a convenient excuse of why you cant approach in reality you like it because it makes it easier for a women moreso then men early on because they dont have to put themselves out there and risk rejection..

 

Nothing wrong with hat i just wish more women were honest as to why they prefer it

Technically, while my husband made first contact, it could be argued that I approached him since the first invite came from me.

[joystickd]

Your point lacks substance. It's based on subjective emotional preferences and biases.

Well here is my thing. I say it because I'm for equality. Women want to be equal to men but hate to accept everything that encompasses equality. This being a prime example. I'm Black and want to be seen as equal. This means I want to be equal in everything that comes along with that. It's hypocrisy to say you want to be equal and not accept everything. It's like saying you want to be a drug dealer then when someone steals your money "I just want the making money aspects of drug dealing not having to hurt anyone." Using science to justify not accepting all aspects of equality is disrespectful to the women who fought to have equality.

[Anela]

haha good realization! I think women approaching more would be great for the more attractive men but would leave less attractive men feel even worse. This is kind of what's going on with women...That's why women always despise their more attractive friends, because they pretty much steal all the attention from them.

 

I don't despise my better-looking friends. My sister has always been prettier than I am, and I would notice the guy's heads turning to look at her again once she'd passed. I got plenty of attention, but not in the, "oh my god, she's so pretty" way. I've always found it amusing, the way they would fawn over her. She was both embarrassed and flattered.

[tbf]

Well here is my thing. I say it because I'm for equality. Women want to be equal to men but hate to accept everything that encompasses equality. This being a prime example. I'm Black and want to be seen as equal. This means I want to be equal in everything that comes along with that. It's hypocrisy to say you want to be equal and not accept everything. It's like saying you want to be a drug dealer then when someone steals your money "I just want the making money aspects of drug dealing not having to hurt anyone." Using science to justify not accepting all aspects of equality is disrespectful to the women who fought to have equality.

So, if as a black man you wish to be equal, would you be all for affirmative action in reverse, where because white men have been disadvantaged through affirmative action in the past, you'd be all for affirmative action for white men?

[joystickd]

What about the good looking women that don't get approached because most men see them an unapproachable?

[joystickd]

So, if as a black man you wish to be equal, would you be all for affirmative action in reverse, where because white men have been disadvantaged through affirmative action in the past, you'd be all for affirmative action for white men?

I'm a hustler. It wouldn't bother me either way. Do you see what I am saying now?

[tbf]

What about the good looking women that don't get approached because most men see them an unapproachable?

So should good looking men and women dumb down their looks, to ensure equality? How about intelligent people. Should they dumb down their IQ to ensure equality?

[tbf]

I'm a hustler. It wouldn't bother me either way. Do you see what I am saying now?

So now, you believe everyone should be exactly like you?

[joystickd]

So should good looking men and women dumb down their looks, to ensure equality? How about intelligent people. Should they dumb down their IQ to ensure equality?

I'm all for people being more proactive in their life. You're lucky because that fact you put up could have gotten you a comment saying that there shouldn't be no women's rights. I approach women but at the same time I'm approachable well to certain women but that is another story. As a person you must have drive and testosterone is not a factor in that. If you as a person want something you have to go and get it.

[Anela]

Agree. Men are horny all the time.

 

If women approached there would be less rejections.

 

Women have no reason to be afraid of rejection. Most men are desperate.

 

As someone already mentioned: they might not approach those who want them to approach more. It tends to be those who complain about this top 20%, who also think that women should approach.

[tbf]

As a person you must have drive and testosterone is not a factor in that. If you as a person want something you have to go and get it.

Analogous would be "If you really want to live, you can do so without blood".

[Anela]

Women have no reason to be afraid of rejection. Most men are desperate.

 

I've approached and been rejected. And someone being desperate wouldn't make me feel any better about not having been rejected. It's like someone dumpster diving for leftover food. I'm there, so I'll do. Yuck.

[joystickd]

So now, you believe everyone should be exactly like you?

No I am not saying be like me. Really wouldn't wish some of my experiences on my worst enemy but one must be more proactive. It's funny how you see women initiate when it comes to other things in their life but not dating. Maybe just maybe it would improve if they did that sometimes

[tbf]

No I am not saying be like me. Really wouldn't wish some of my experiences on my worst enemy but one must be more proactive. It's funny how you see women initiate when it comes to other things in their life but not dating. Maybe just maybe it would improve if they did that sometimes

This presumes that most women complain about not getting men. That's factually untrue. Take a peek around LS. Men are the big whiners on this site.

[joystickd]

This presumes that most women complain about not getting men. That's factually untrue. Take a peek around LS. Men are the big whiners on this site.

They maybe getting men but not quality men. It's not the men they really want.

[tbf]

They maybe getting men but not quality men. It's not the men they really want.

I can't stand this irrational discussion. Making things up out of thin air don't make them valid data points.

[xxoo]

As someone already mentioned: they might not approach those who want them to approach more. It tends to be those who complain about this top 20%, who also think that women should approach.

 

The irony is that women already to throw themselves at the men they want to throw themselves at. What would reasonably change?

[joystickd]

I can't stand this irrational discussion. Making things up out of thin air don't make them valid data points.

 

The fact is you want to be equal to men. You have to accept everything its simple as that.

[joystickd]

I can't stand this irrational discussion. Making things up out of thin air don't make them valid data points.

 

Irrational? I never knew not accepting all of equality is irrational.