diddlgirl Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 Hi! Im new to this forum but wanted some advice. Last weekend i met a guy at a bar with my friends he was absolutely gorgeous (and i was really surprised he went for me) we chatted a lot, he told his friends how beautiful he thought i was and was dying to see me again. We swopped numbers and he called the next day. We arranged to go out that night even though i was really tired and so was he. However i had a friend staying who i couldnt abandon so he agreed to bring a friend too. We met at a bar he chatted to me, his friend chatted to my friend. We didnt run out of things to say and he asked if i was free to meet mid week which i said i was... After 50 minutes the bar closed so we moved on to another only to find that closed to. On the way to the second bar he did kiss me a few times and put his arm round me but would pull away after a few minutes. When he found the other bar was closed his friend was like why dont u girls come and have a drink at ours. My friend was keen and since id already said at the bar the previous night that i like to take things slowly and its just a group of people i didnt think it was a big deal. However whilst our friends who wont at all interested in each other were up for the drink. The guy i liked said he wasnt sure then agreed. This threw my confidence a little. And when we got on the bus i felt even more insecure when he went to sit with his friend - like we wre no longer on a date. Back at the flat he didnt pay me any real attention and seemed more interested in his foreign tobacco and his bong. Apart from when i went to get a glass of water and he kissed me a few times then pulled away when he thought his friend might see. He had just finally started holding my hand when my friend announced we should leave. So we did he kissed me and said he'd call. That was Saturday and hes not called. My friend thought he would call me even tho i didnt and apparently his friend had told her that hes a ladies man and doesnt make much effort with girls cos he doesnt have to... im kindof disappointed i know i didnt get to show who i really am - due to tiredness and the fact it wasnt one on one... But id hoped hed call and we could at least go out just the two of us and see how it worked. I know i cant cal him cos ill look desperate and hes obv not interested, but i really liked him.
zara Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 Don’t call him. Use that fabled man tactic of ‘treat em mean keep em keen’, make it clear that you aren’t going to chase him and see what happens. a) he might have to get off his stoned arse and make an effort for a change – start as you mean to go on he doesn’t make the effort – in which case do you really want to get involved with this loser anyway… next!
EC Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 Does he even remember where he put your number after hitting the bong? I smoke I forget things all the time..it fries your brain. lol But on a serious note why wont you call him? Maybe he's been busy or something. You never know? Don't play games and wait you could be missing out. I say call him and say you had a good time and when could you do it again...the worst he could say is no and then you move on.
zara Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 I don't see it as playing games, i see it as not chasing him. I mean, it's just a guy, there are plenty more guys out there who will call her - what's the point of suffering such anxiety over a guy she's just met?
Author diddlgirl Posted November 11, 2004 Author Posted November 11, 2004 Hi Guys, Thanks so much for ur help- Two completely diff view points. He has my home and mobile numbers on his phone... so im thinking at the minute with going with what Zara said - much as i liked him what was worrying me was his actions reminded me of players ive been out with in the past - who are on and off and usually more interested in their bong than me... I know from past experience that it will always end in him going awol... If i dont call him i still have my dignity as for all he knows i might not have been keen to see him again either. If i call him hell prob say no as he had no problem calling me quickly b4, and ill look desperate and ill feel upset... but more view points are definately welcome... i hate it when these good looking guys can be so into u one minute then go awol
zara Posted November 12, 2004 Posted November 12, 2004 i do think it is important to maintain your dignity - too many women just throw it away and end up looking desperate, needy and downright crazy! At least you can look back and say "yep, i handled that with finesse!"
Author diddlgirl Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 Hi Guys! Thanks so much for your advice a few weeks ago it really helped! Just thought i'd give you an update. I took your advice Zara and maintained my dignity and didnt call him, since he was a ladies man i knew from what his friends had said to my friend that he had a lot of girls chasing him... i didnt want to seem desperate. Well he never called unlike what he said, but did i really want to be with some guy whose more interested in what crap he was smoking than his date? The good news is i have a date with a new guy later this week... so we will see how this goes! Hope you guys are doing good and thanks again!
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