StrangeDays Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 (edited) My ex broke up with me over a year ago and it always hurts. Often I am fine with it but on some days it really hurts. It really hurts so much makes me want to drink. I have been sober now for 4 months so I don't drink anymore. Why do I still want to hold his hand? Or cuddle him? Why do I miss him so much? I have been able to get over previous ex's without problems. In fact it got so painful for me that eventually I had to sever all contact with my ex after 11 months of breaking up. Whilst he barely talked to me we both still did want to remain in our lives. I think we both sort of hoped we would grow as people and be more suitable for each other one day...Maybe he even hoped I would turn my life around. I should have moved on and forgotten him by now. I have done everything like tell him I loved him. Apologized and asked for a second chance for the both of us etc. He didn't want too and that should have been that. There is no logical explanation why I am feeling like this. The man doesn't want me anymore so just move on! That is what I tell myself. Doesn't seem to help me move on though?! Anyway eventually I just needed to cut all forms of contact and vanish. I thought it would help. It hasn't. I used to be such a romantic. I used to think if you just told them you loved them everything would be fine. But love is not enough in the real world. If you showed up 6 months later on their doorstep you would look way more like a stalker than a romantic gentleman fighting to win your soul mate back. I am just getting so fed up with thinking about him now. Yes we both did love each other but this was a year ago. It happened but all good things come to an end. Time to find a new love and believe me I do look which is a good thing. I am not locked up in the house thinking about him and doing nothing else. Am I just emotionally weak? Edited August 24, 2013 by StrangeDays
Soat Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 No, it's likely something about him is feeding into a psychological need of yours. What it is I have no idea given i don't know you. Perhaps keep thinking about why or what this could be? And don't resort to answers like "oh he's the one" or "love like never before." Have you tried dating other people yet?
oldshirt Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Am I just emotionally weak? No probably not weak but you do seem to be having some coping issues and it may be helpful for you to seek some assistance in developing some more effective coping skills. (I'm subtly suggesting you seek a grief counselor in case you didn't pick up that LOL) Now I am not saying you are crazy or psycho or anything like that but just like a physical wound, some heal quickly and efficiently and others get infected and fester and it requires some antibiotics and some additional treatments. You have a little infection and some festering going on there that is delaying the healing process and some additional therapy and treatments will help it heal and clear up.
Kitchen Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Also, you said you broke up 14 months ago, but only cut contact 11 months ago, right? So it's only been 3 months of NC. You should give yourself some more time, and it will get better.
Author StrangeDays Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Well we did not have much contact when we had lines of communication open. We both wanted to be friends. I think he was stronger and could of just been friends or at least dealt with his emotions/feelings sufficiently. I on the other hand could not. I would of liked to have remained friends or become just friends. I want him to be happy and would of liked to have had him still be a part of my life. Unfortunately I just could not cope with him not being anything but my boyfriend. Yes I have started dating again. I also do the occassional fling.
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