to contact or not to contact?

[DianaS]

Hey guys! A bit of help is needed...So this guy and I had the perfect connection. We got very attached very fast (mostly him) and everything was perfect up to a certain point where abruptly things changed. So, for a while he would push me away then beg me to stay in his life. One moment he loved me, the next he wasn't sure he wanted to be with me. One moment he smothered me and the next he urged me to find someone who will be more deserving of me. This phase did not last long, it was a few weeks of really bad ups and downs. He is going through a very tough situation and while I was understanding at first I got fed up and broke up with him.

He wanted to at least stay friends but as I am in love with him this is not something I am prepared to do. We met one last time 2 weeks after the break and he was changed, he said he missed me and was willing to work on his issues. He also said he was afraid of the intensity of his feelings. I told him I needed time and perhaps we could talk some time in the future. I then went on to a humanitarian project in Africa for a month as planned to volunteer. He knew when I was leaving and sent me the sweetest text moments before boarding.

That was a month ago. In the mean time I maintained radio silence but for one text when something happened I really had to share (again I got a very sweet text back). Now I am back. I am sure he knows that but he has made no attempt to contact me since his text on my departure (I am not counting his reply). I am not sure how to go about things. I still love him. I mean I don't want him back unless he wants me and even then we need to work our issues out. It is just that the way he behaved on our last meeting and the text gave me hope and now I feel he has forgotten about me. But if I contact him wouldn't that send the wrong message?

I don't know what to do and any help will be appreciated. This was not some fling. This was the man I was going to marry and have children with. I will always wonder what could have been and if I did everything I could

[theonlyjuan]

Yeah, he has you right where he wants you. He's left you hanging and is now probably expecting you to make contact first, then it's self esteem boost time for him when you do. He's left you with a bit of hope and with him on your mind.

 

I dunno, maybe I am reading too much into it. Just don't contact him

[Soat]

Sounds like a huge pain in the butt. NOthing like living with someone whose opinion changes of you like riding a seesaw. And you're not all that keen on him either. Move on.