FearingTEN Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 (edited) Okay so I am looking advice on what to do here. This is a continuation to my last thread, if you havent read it. I am now in only day 3 of complete no contact with my ex girlfriend. If you havent read my story yet, here it is in a nuttshell: -Dated a girl for 2 and a half years. -All was well until she admitted into having a crush with another guy a year into our relationship -Things went downhill as her talking to this guy made me super protective (which she didnt like ) -Had many arguments but always forgave each other in the mornings -She breaks up with me out of the blue -She dates the other guy 2 weeks later -I begin crying, pleading and begging her back for two months -She said to leave her alone and became VERY harsh and bitter towards me -Decided to stop begging and go no contact (3 days ago) The last text she sentme before I decided to go no contact was : "I'm in a happy relationship. Also you're irritating so STOP." 2 days after I went no contact, she calls me ( I didnt answer ) . So she send me this text: "I have the keychain but I'm almost home so I guess I'll give it to you some other day" The "keychain" she is talking about by the way is our prom picture, which I asked for before I went no contact. I did not reply Earlier today however, she calls again. I have an iphone and when I picked up my ringing phone to see who it was, my thumb accidentally hit the "decline" button as soon as it rang. In other words, it seemed like I ignored it righr away even though it was an accident. She then texts me: "Okay ignore me then. I guess you don't want the keychain or the work from ms Rees' class." & "Do you want the paperwork or not. Because I'm not gonna save it forever. And the keychain" ..what am I supposed to do? I really want her back and im beyond confused on wether or not to reply because she seems like she is getting mad that I am infact, ignoring her.. do I continue no contact? Or do I reply back? Im so confused :/ Please help me! I dont want to screw up! I really love her. And i feel like this NC is making her hate me <\3 Edited August 24, 2013 by FearingTEN
Chi townD Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 (edited) Dude! IGNORE HER!!! She dumped you out of the blue. Less than two weeks later she's with the guy that she confessed that she had a crush on. Which leads me to believe that she was working on this guy WHILE she was with you. Thus, she was cheating on you. You want her back..okay, but I have to ask...WHY?!?!?! Yeah..yeah...you love her. But, aren't you sick and tired of it being one sided? Ignore her and move on, dude. And her hate you? Dude, she made the choice to have you out of her life. You're giving her exactly what she's asking for. So, you're not doing anything wrong. Edited August 24, 2013 by Chi townD 1
Col1 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 The last text she sentme before I decided to go no contact was : "I'm in a happy relationship. Also you're irritating so STOP." She tells you to quit... 2 days after I went no contact, she calls me ( I didnt answer ) . So she send me this text: "I have the keychain but I'm almost home so I guess I'll give it to you some other day" Then she contacts you!! Earlier today however, she calls again. I have an iphone and when I picked up my ringing phone to see who it was, my thumb accidentally hit the "decline" button as soon as it rang. In other words, it seemed like I ignored it righr away even though it was an accident. She then texts me: "Okay ignore me then. I guess you don't want the keychain or the work from ms Rees' class." & "Do you want the paperwork or not. Because I'm not gonna save it forever. And the keychain" Now she's realized you don't care, and she is confused. Your NoContact policy is making her want your attention! 1
Author FearingTEN Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Anyone else??): I really need more advice
affairaddict Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Col1 is spot on. She will prob go a bit more mental the more you ignore. Good.
Salvatore85 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 No you don't. I've gone through this twice with the same girl and the only way to get on with your life and potentially get her back(I have no clue why you would want to) is to ignore her and start having fun. I cannot stress this enough, move on. If you think whining and crying is going to get your ex back then you're being naive. So she moved on, show her you don't care by going out and having a blast with your friends. Do not text or call her back because it doesn't work I promise you. Right now it's eating her alive that you're too busy for her, keep it up.
Author FearingTEN Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) Hello everybody. I know that I have already done numorpus threads on this but one thing I can NEVER get about no contact is this... what if they text you? Now, aside from LoveShack, ive done some outside research on this. Some say reply very friendly then cut the convo short.. other say ignore them to give them a fear of loss. Now, I put myself in my exs shoes & what I feel when somebody ignores my text is that they have moved on & I should just forget about him and move on as well... I don't really see how ignoring will help her miss me? I really love her & want her back. What should I do? My ex texted me saying that she has some stuff to give to me that I left at her house and i didnt reply and she sent me a fustrated text back. I know that you should use NC til they contact you.. but what if its only day 4 of NC? Isnt that too short? Im still not emotionally healed and I know that if I reply, I will get panic attacks if she doesnt reply back and i will resort to me spamming her again and crying... What do I do? I dont want her to hate me. Should I just continue NC no matter what the text is unless its a "I miss you" text? Or should i reply short and sweet to her text and cut it off? I mean, i understand that i shouldnt reply to a text if she is telling me a statement or something like that.. but she sent me a question if I want the stuff back or not.... SO CONFUSED /: I dont wanna screw up!!! Edited August 25, 2013 by FearingTEN
Author FearingTEN Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 Thank everybody. You are really helping me. I think I wont reply
flitzanu Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 DUDE you don't need more advice. NC means no contact. she dumped you and wants you out of her life, so give her what she wants...her life WITHOUT YOU. none of what she is saying qualifies a response. send one of your friends to get your keychain, and find someone else to get your homework.
flitzanu Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Hello everybody. I know that I have already done numorpus threads on this but one thing I can NEVER get about no contact is this... what if they text you? Now, aside from LoveShack, ive done some outside research on this. Some say reply very friendly then cut the convo short.. other say ignore them to give them a fear of loss. Now, I put myself in my exs shoes & what I feel when somebody ignores my text is that they have moved on & I should just forget about him and move on as well... I don't really see how ignoring will help her miss me? I really love her & want her back. What should I do? My ex texted me saying that she has some stuff to give to me that I left at her house and i didnt reply and she sent me a fustrated text back. I know that you should use NC til they contact you.. but what if its only day 4 of NC? Isnt that too short? Im still not emotionally healed and I know that if I reply, I will get panic attacks if she doesnt reply back and i will resort to me spamming her again and crying... What do I do? I dont want her to hate me. Should I just continue NC no matter what the text is unless its a "I miss you" text? Or should i reply short and sweet to her text and cut it off? I mean, i understand that i shouldnt reply to a text if she is telling me a statement or something like that.. but she sent me a question if I want the stuff back or not.... SO CONFUSED /: I dont wanna screw up!!! you totally don't understand NC. it isn't a tool to get your ex back, it's a tool to move on with your life. by all means, no advice is good enough for you, so text her back. right now. do exactly what she wants you to do. she's still with her new boyfriend that she dumped you for, so i don't see why replying to her text is going to help you in any way.
barky2 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Dude, uve asked it 10 different ways. Read my thread Or read yours when I responded and took my time to do so. Barky
Author FearingTEN Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 thank you. Im trying to remain strong. Thank for giving me some of the best advice. I hope one day I can be happy again.
William Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 As a program note, moderation, when alerted, may merge threads on similar topics into one contiguous thread. LoveShack has a policy on cross-posting/duplicate topics which instructs us in this regard. We advise posters to retain as much of their issue as possible in one thread for ease of reading and understanding by potential respondents. As such, this thread has been merged with a relevant similar one. Thanks. 1
shortee Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Do not contact her. Send someone else to get your stuff. If you have to contact her, just text this "Send in mail...thanks"
Col1 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I would let go of all of the stuff she has for you. I wouldn't even reply. Just move on with my life (as hard as that may be) and not arrange for any of it back. Is the stuff she has for you very important?
Chi townD Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I think Daftpunk (the poster, not the musical group) wrote this and I'm stealing it. It hurts just as much to try and hold on to them as it does to let them go. You're trying to do both and compounding your pain. 1
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