miss_jaclynrae Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I have no idea what has gotten into her, I always knew she wasn't the misters biggest fan, but I never thought she would be like this as soon as he left. She has always been so supportive, but last night I hung out with her and it was a totally different person. She went off on this rant about how he is a huge ******* for leaving me, how I am letting my senses get the best of me. She keeps telling me to "keep my options open" and when I started talking about school, literally the only thing she talked about was all the guys I could meet. WTF. I love her to death, but I have an inkling her unhappiness in her own life is making her want to affect mine. She honestly thinks that he isn't good for me for the most ridiculous reasons, such as the fact that we DON'T want to live here forever [she got so upset when I said I can't wait for us to be done with school so we can start a life somewhere new and exciting] and because god forbid, I am with a man who doesn't drink. A bald older man at that. [Yep, she went there] This just sucks dude, not because I think any of that, but because I know that if she keeps it up, I honestly wouldn't be able to tolerate her anymore. I obviously can't talk to the mister about this [i don't want him to think any worse of her] and I just don't know how to tell her to knock it off. I don't want to have to defend my relationship to her, I don't sit there and talk about her POS boyfriend. Bleh. Bitter taste in my mouth and all it makes me honestly sad, because with the mister gone, she is the only other person I have other than family. She has always been there, but her pushing me to date and keep my mind open to meeting someone while he is away is pissing me off to no end. Not only is it not going to happen, but there really is no reason. I have my dream man, sure, I could meet someone who does drink, who has hair, but why would I ever trade that in when I seriously have a man who not only loves me deeply but has taken me for everything I am. Even when I am a crazy bitch, he is amazing. And guess what? I have a man who actually has goals in his life, and I have some in mine... that is more that I can say for her and her man... Anyone else ever had to deal with this **** before?
Els Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I think that there are people who just don't understand the concept of LDRs. I have a few friends like that. Nothing wrong with that - though I think the way your friend is expressing herself is just crass and tactless. Can you not just sit her down and tell her you love her and all that, but you'd rather just not talk about that? You do seem to have a pretty alarming animosity towards her bf, though...? Any particular reason for that? 1
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 I think that there are people who just don't understand the concept of LDRs. I have a few friends like that. Nothing wrong with that - though I think the way your friend is expressing herself is just crass and tactless. Can you not just sit her down and tell her you love her and all that, but you'd rather just not talk about that? You do seem to have a pretty alarming animosity towards her bf, though...? Any particular reason for that? I don't care for him one bit. She can barely stand him. They just... I don't know how to put it, but they are the most irresponsible people I know. He is so lazy too, and they have an 8 month old. I love her, but we have always had very different lifestyles, hers consists of lots of losers, working odd jobs here and there, losing apartments, relying on family to support her, smoking a ton of pot... Thank god she has a good head on her shoulders with the little one, but her boyfriend... nope. I listen to the things she tells me and I am supportive. Granted, I think he is the worst person for her to be with, if she is happy I could care less. It is there life, doesn't affect me much. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it, she got pretty upset at that. Did her usual "well I am just being honest" line. Luckily school starts soon so I won't be able to see her too much.
Faith13/2 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I have no idea what has gotten into her, I always knew she wasn't the misters biggest fan, but I never thought she would be like this as soon as he left. She has always been so supportive, but last night I hung out with her and it was a totally different person. She went off on this rant about how he is a huge ******* for leaving me, how I am letting my senses get the best of me. She keeps telling me to "keep my options open" and when I started talking about school, literally the only thing she talked about was all the guys I could meet. WTF. I love her to death, but I have an inkling her unhappiness in her own life is making her want to affect mine. She honestly thinks that he isn't good for me for the most ridiculous reasons, such as the fact that we DON'T want to live here forever [she got so upset when I said I can't wait for us to be done with school so we can start a life somewhere new and exciting] and because god forbid, I am with a man who doesn't drink. A bald older man at that. [Yep, she went there] This just sucks dude, not because I think any of that, but because I know that if she keeps it up, I honestly wouldn't be able to tolerate her anymore. I obviously can't talk to the mister about this [i don't want him to think any worse of her] and I just don't know how to tell her to knock it off. I don't want to have to defend my relationship to her, I don't sit there and talk about her POS boyfriend. Bleh. Bitter taste in my mouth and all it makes me honestly sad, because with the mister gone, she is the only other person I have other than family. She has always been there, but her pushing me to date and keep my mind open to meeting someone while he is away is pissing me off to no end. Not only is it not going to happen, but there really is no reason. I have my dream man, sure, I could meet someone who does drink, who has hair, but why would I ever trade that in when I seriously have a man who not only loves me deeply but has taken me for everything I am. Even when I am a crazy bitch, he is amazing. And guess what? I have a man who actually has goals in his life, and I have some in mine... that is more that I can say for her and her man... Anyone else ever had to deal with this **** before? When I first went to meet my SO(we met online)my best friend was completely supportive. Even after my LDR started she was supportive, went to see him on three occasions and she always seemed so happy for me. Shortly after she found out I'd be moving with him abroad things changed. She would constantly point out all the negative things she could think of, tell me that maybe things wouldn't be so great once I moved. I soon started feeling as if she just didn't want me to leave for her own selfish reasons. As she was my only person to talk to besides my family I tried telling myself she was just looking out for me until one day enough was enough. I finally told her that no matter what her opinion was, I was going to continue my relationship whether people liked it or not. That didn't go so well. Sad to say I ended up ending the friendship, just couldn't deal with negativity anymore. Things are hard enough when you're in an LDR. Since I've ended the friendship I've actually been relieved to my surprise, even though I don't really have anyone to talk to anymore. It's nice being able to focus on the positive things without having someone try to change how you're feeling. I've found that removing the extra negativity from my life has been the best move I've made. If there's anyway for you to just tell her how she's making you feel without sugarcoating, I'd say do so. The way she reacts from there says a lot. Good luck 1
sweetkiwi Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Do not let her in anymore on your romantic life. Some people want to see others fail. Then laugh behind your back while "comforting" you. Sad but true. Sounds like you have her figured out. Now distance yourself.
xxoo Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 "This topic isn't open for discussion." Then change the subject. Rinse and repeat as needed. Get up and leave if she persists. Is this the friend you vented to about your bf?
Recommended Posts