Jump to content

Nervous Nervous Nervous I Think This Is It

Leigh 87

By Leigh 87
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
I read it because I can't believe this is real :lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

And you wonder why I said your posts aren't helpful and attacking? This mocking is not in compliance with the spirit of LS, nor the T&S.

  • Like 1
Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

Posted
Posted (edited)
And you wonder why I said your posts aren't helpful and attacking? This mocking is not in compliance with the spirit of LS, nor the T&S.

 

Oh, please, get off your high horse. You have made some condescending comments on this very thread. You know it and I know it.

 

When Leigh said she was going to have wait in future to have sex with a guy, you said:

 

"For how long? 3 minutes? :p "

 

How about a little of practice what you preach.

Edited by Bluebelle38
  • Like 3
almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted

Taking anonymous pot shots at easy targets on the internet just reeks of ignorance and insecurity.

 

Very unflattering.

  • Like 2
Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
Oh, please, get off your high horse. You have made some condescending comments on this very thread. You know it and I know it.

 

When Leigh said she was going to have wait in future to have sex with a guy, you said:

 

"For how long? 3 minutes? :p "

 

How about a little of practice what you preach.

 

The tongue was there for a reason. It was tongue in cheek.

 

You're ATTACKING her. Anyone with half a brain can see that.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
Lol, I like to live on the edge ;)

 

With very thoughtful posts. I'd like to give you my personal thanks. :)

  • Like 1
Janesays Established Member

Janesays

Posted
Posted
The tongue was there for a reason. It was tongue in cheek.

 

You're ATTACKING her. Anyone with half a brain can see that.

 

Personally, I think you BOTH have made some nasty comments about Leigh. Now you're minimizing and playing innocent.

 

But at least you've backed off.

 

Hey, how about you back off as well Bluebelle?

Babolat Established Member

Babolat

Posted
Posted

Leigh, one common theme from you is "I am not looking for a LTR" and "It just happened".

 

I have a very good female friend, she is 45, and has been in many LTRs. 6+ months ago she made a decision to stop, take a break, focus on other parts of her life, her job, her hobbies, her friends (her and I became best friends right after this).

 

I have been out with her when men have hit on her. I have male friends that have expressed an interest in her, that I have shared with her. She says no though and she knows her boundary. She does not want a LTR right now so she will not let it happen.

 

Both of us have been talking lately about how we feel alone, yet we know we are not ready for a LTR and that we are forcing ourselves to just be, to have fun, without the drama of a LTR.

 

If you do not want a LTR, then don't let it happen. You have a choice. A lot of your comments about this boy, really this kid, suggest he controls your choices. No, you do.

 

You even have a choice right now. What will you do IF he does text you and wants to see you? Do you really want to go thru all of this drama with him?

 

I bolded boundary on purpose..I am not sure you know what your boundaries are right now.

  • Like 1
almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted
With very thoughtful posts. I'd like to give you my personal thanks. :)

 

Thanks. I always take the time to read your posts thoroughly, so the compliment is appreciated even more so :)

  • Like 1
Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

Posted
Posted
The tongue was there for a reason. It was tongue in cheek.

 

You're ATTACKING her. Anyone with half a brain can see that.

 

Attacking her, hardly. I gave some very clear and thought out advice.

 

I then asked her to clarify what she meant by 'this is it'. I said sleeping with the guy more than once as what else did it mean as she claimed it did notmean she meant he was THE ONE? I suppose I should have put in the :p after it, as apparently that makes those sorts of comments alright.

 

I suggested she see a counsellor (not realising she already does), I recommended a fantastic book 'women who love too much', I also told her to consider the impact she allows men to have in her life and that it would be a good idea for her to step back from relationships.

 

You can call it attacking, I call it reasoned advice. :cool:

Divasu Established Member

Divasu

Posted
Posted

Duuun dun duuun BOM BOM.........

  • Like 2
Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

Posted
Posted
I had self esteem issues in my 20s/early 30s and would jump from relationship to relationship. I was so desperate to not be 'alone' that I would literally ignore every red flag a relationship presented me with. As a result I ended up with serial cheaters, alcoholics and a physical abuser. They were not obviously so, most of my friends thought they were great guys.

 

The thing is, until I stopped and broke this pattern nothing in my life changed. it was a horrible cycle that I just kept repeating.

 

One day I had enough and I decided to be single, I cut off contact with an ex I had seen on/off for 10 years (FWB situation), I quit drinking, I learnt that I am fabulous without a man (and looking back I was a disastrous, insecure mess with all the exes)

 

I got myself back into college (am starting year 2 of my degree next month) and for the first time in my life I truly love myself. I know that sounds as cheesy as a stuffed crust four-cheese pizza, but it is true.

 

What I have found since is that any rejection is water off a duck's back because I know I am great single anyway. I don't dwell over what was and the mistakes I made (I am thankful I never married any of them).

 

I realise that everyone is different and one bad experience doesn't mean all men are the same. I still make mistakes, I am far from perfect, but I stopped making a man and a relationship the centre of my existence and realised how much happier I am being in control of my emotions and my life.

 

A relationship is great, but when they cause so much pain, we have to look at ourselves and ask why we are allowing ourselves to be put through them. We are hurting and in pain and we need to be healed before we can ever be truly happy in any relationship.

 

Leigh, go get counselling. I can't recommend enough the healing that came with mine. xx

 

I posted this earlier on for Leigh's benefit and was told by her almost immediately 'I don't care about your issues Bluebelle'.

 

I posted it to try and help Leigh, not to take a stab at her.

  • Like 1
Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
I read it because I can't believe this is real :lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

This is not "reasoned advice."

 

Clearly, your posts are not resonating with Leigh, and that's because of the manner in which you're delivering your so-called "reasoned advice."

 

The fact that you're continuing to post stuff like this to her in light of that says a lot more about you than it does about Leigh.

 

In fact, that she's stopped responding to you shows she's not getting some of the credit she deserves.

 

:)

  • Like 2
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

I think just about everyone here has good intentions.

 

Sometimes people reject advice because they can't process it at that time. They aren't ready to.

 

I think it's lovely how everyone here cares enough to want to help Leigh.

  • Like 2
Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

Posted
Posted

I didn't post what I did -very personal and private stuff about myself for it to be thrown back in my face and be told 'I don't care about your issues'.

 

Leah laughs herself at the level of interest in this thread and admits the madness of it all. I hardly think pointing that out is shocking. :D

almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted

Leah laughs herself at the level of interest in this thread and admits the madness of it all. I hardly think pointing that out is shocking. :D

 

You and I both know that she was laughing at something different.

 

I posted this earlier on for Leigh's benefit and was told by her almost immediately 'I don't care about your issues Bluebelle'.

 

I posted it to try and help Leigh, not to take a stab at her.

 

I don't mean to antagonize, but I feel that you alienated the poster and rendered any previously well-intended advice useless when you posted:

 

Sorry, what did he say you were? Great or fantastic?

 

That is important.

 

It's easy when posting on a forum to forget the impact your words may have on the person on the other side of the screen. It's even easier when there is an opportunity to be humorous - everyone likes to laugh. Admttedly, I am not above the occasional pot shot myself.

 

There's a time and place for everything though, and I try to remind myself of that, especially when communicating with someone that may be vulnerable.

  • Like 4
Babolat Established Member

Babolat

Posted
Posted
I think just about everyone here has good intentions.

 

Sometimes people reject advice because they can't process it at that time. They aren't ready to.

 

I think it's lovely how everyone here cares enough to want to help Leigh.

 

BINGO! And we all get frustrated when we see someone doing what she is doing to herself...as we have been there before.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
BINGO! And we all get frustrated when we see someone doing what she is doing to herself...as we have been there before.

 

I have a permanent case of headdesk on my forehead from some of the threads today. :(

  • Like 3
Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

Posted
Posted
You and I both know that she was laughing at something different.

 

 

 

I don't mean to antagonize, but I feel that you alienated the poster and rendered any previously well-intended advice useless when you posted:

 

 

 

It's easy when posting on a forum to forget the impact your words may have on the person on the other side of the screen. It's even easier when there is an opportunity to be humorous - everyone likes to laugh. Admttedly, I am not above the occasional pot shot myself.

 

There's a time and place for everything though, and I try to remind myself of that, especially when communicating with someone that may be vulnerable.

 

Maybe she antagonised me when she threw my advice back in my face. Leah was not very nice to me. I should have been the bigger person, but I did try and help her. I was not expecting the reaction she gave me, probably said in anger because I suggested she needed help.

  • Like 1
almond Established Member

almond

Posted
Posted
Maybe she antagonised me when she threw my advice back in my face. Leah was not very nice to me. I should have been the bigger person, but I did try and help her. I was not expecting the reaction she gave me, probably said in anger because I suggested she needed help.

 

I agree with this :)

  • Like 2
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted

It's really hard to be the bigger person sometimes. I get it. Even at my most mature I occasionally fail on that front. Just keep in mind that the person lashing out is probably really hurting.

  • Like 1
Bluebelle38 Established Member

Bluebelle38

Posted
Posted
It's really hard to be the bigger person sometimes. I get it. Even at my most mature I occasionally fail on that front. Just keep in mind that the person lashing out is probably really hurting.

 

I understand that. But it can be pretty painful to put your whole personal story out there to try and help someone to have it be totally dismissed (and in a nasty way). And under those circumstances it can be very hard to be the bigger person and just say no probs Leigh, there there.

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
It's really hard to be the bigger person sometimes. I get it. Even at my most mature I occasionally fail on that front. Just keep in mind that the person lashing out is probably really hurting.

 

 

 

Okay then

 

I can assure you. I'm not hurting. I met a boy once.....for a few days in a row.......

 

I just got out of a relationship and I have not seen the 4 dogs since. I don't sit and cry about that anymore. To say I care about a guy I do not know is not getting how I REALLY feel. But I do invite you to LISTEN to me rather than make assumptions.

 

I lash out at posters when they try to tell me that it was all sex to him and he felt nothing for me. I disagreed.

 

Some posters attacked my character and flat out told me " well I don't think your awesome" and then expected me to LISTEN to their advice:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

I simply tell people how I really feel. Which is that I am a great girl and I doubt he lied when he said repeatedly he liked me.

 

He texted by the way but not sure where to go from here.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
I understand that. But it can be pretty painful to put your whole personal story out there to try and help someone to have it be totally dismissed (and in a nasty way). And under those circumstances it can be very hard to be the bigger person and just say no probs Leigh, there there.

 

I understand that. I think you gave some great advice. Just keep in mind that the recipient may not want to or be ready to hear it. That's the chance we take when we post here.

  • Like 1
Treasa Established Member

Treasa

Posted
Posted
Okay then

 

I can assure you. I'm not hurting. I met a boy once.....for a few days in a row.......

 

I just got out of a relationship and I have not seen the 4 dogs since. I don't sit and cry about that anymore. To say I care about a guy I do not know is not getting how I REALLY feel. But I do invite you to LISTEN to me rather than make assumptions.

 

I lash out at posters when they try to tell me that it was all sex to him and he felt nothing for me. I disagreed.

 

Some posters attacked my character and flat out told me " well I don't think your awesome" and then expected me to LISTEN to their advice:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

I simply tell people how I really feel. Which is that I am a great girl and I doubt he lied when he said repeatedly he liked me.

 

He texted by the way but not sure where to go from here.

 

I really honestly didn't see a single person say you weren't awesome. MY point is that it shouldn't matter even if they do. Someone else in another thread said something ridiculous about me and my relationship, and it was so ludicrous that it made me laugh and didn't offend me in the slightest. If you know the truth, who the f cares?

 

Anyway, what did he text you?

  • Author
Leigh 87 Established Member

Leigh 87

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I understand that. But it can be pretty painful to put your whole personal story out there to try and help someone to have it be totally dismissed (and in a nasty way). And under those circumstances it can be very hard to be the bigger person and just say no probs Leigh, there there.

 

 

 

Ugh fine I will address you ONE last time.

 

I generally really appreciate advice.

 

However. You came on here and told me " hey. I don't think you're that awesome". WELL there ya go! That is perhaps why I don't want to talk to you or forgetmenot poster.

 

You also said I was desperate and that I have to hang on to any make attention I get - was that you or another poster? I believe it was you?

 

Social skills 101: if a person tells you that they don't really think you're that great of a person, along with you being desperate, you generally do not fancy talking to them again. Since their opinion is not valid to you.

 

I hope that explains it for you:)

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...