gypsy25 Posted November 10, 2004 Posted November 10, 2004 Hi, I'm sorta new to this forum so bear with me here =) I'm 21 years old and I've been dating this guy for about 5 months now. He's 25 and great, we are so comfortable with one another and we just click. Now here's the problem. I'm one of those girls who has always followed "The Rules" I don't know if everyone here has heard of it but it's a pretty famous book about rules girls should follow in order to attract and keep a man. Alot of girls shun it because they feel it is like manipulating someone into caring about you, but to me it's just going along with the basic natural feelings that attract men to women and the rules show you how to tap into them. It always works, atleast for me, so why give it up? Anyways, one of the rules is to never call the guy, always let him call you. I follow that quite religiously, he's always the one to call me up and ask if I want to go out or get together. But here's the thing, I want to make sure that this isn't hindering our relationship. See, there are times when I REALLY want to call him and ask him to hang out or just to see how his day was, but that would be going gainst the rules and I feel that it would turn him off. I guess I'd like some advice on whether or not a girl calling a guy (my boyfriend now) is a turn off and makes her look desperate or if it's alright once in a while? Thanks for any help you can give me =)
bluechocolate Posted November 10, 2004 Posted November 10, 2004 See, there are times when I REALLY want to call him and ask him to hang out or just to see how his day was, but that would be going gainst the rules and I feel that it would turn him off. I think that's just plain silly. You've been going out with this guy for 5 months!? Pick up the phone & call him. One day the guy is going to figure you're not interested & stop putting in the effort altogether.
Naive Posted November 10, 2004 Posted November 10, 2004 All I can tell you is to do what your heart tells you, not some book. Yeah, maybe what you do has worked, but I am sure it's not because of the book but because of who you are. You are the one that attracks they guys not the book. I know that what I said sounds cheesy, but it's true. Just do what YOU feel is right.
Author gypsy25 Posted November 10, 2004 Author Posted November 10, 2004 So you think it would be alright if I called him up tonight and asked him if I could cook him dinner or something? That wouldn't sound too pushy or needy or anything? I mean we hang out pretty much every night or every other night and I always spend the night but he's always the one to ask me to come over ( I live at home so for him to come over to my place wouldn't work out too well) and he works prettty long days so I don't wanna push it. That would be ok though? I just always thought that guys liked to be the one to "chase" and initiate things. I dunno.
Naive Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 Sometimes it's nice for them to lean back, relax and have you ask him instead.
bluechocolate Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 That would be ok though? That would definitely be OK. I just always thought that guys liked to be the one to "chase" and initiate things. I dunno. After 5 months I think the chasing is over. If he works long days then calling him up to offer to make him dinner would be a nice gesture.
DJ_Dork Posted November 11, 2004 Posted November 11, 2004 If a girl I'm interested in uses 'the rules' or plays mind games with me, I just drop her right away until she plays by MY RULES.
Author gypsy25 Posted November 11, 2004 Author Posted November 11, 2004 And what are "your rules"? I'm honestly curious......Would most guys like it if their GF's called them at say 10:00 PM just to see how their day was and to say goodnight? Or would that just be annoying to them? My BF never calls me to say goodnight or see how my day was so I never to it with him cause I feel like it would be annoying to him......Any thoughts?
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