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An Update


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Posted (edited)

One of the last posts I made here was about how I broke NC and felt good about it. I stand by that. I don't miss my ex very much anymore, I've learned to accept what happened and I'm doing everything I can to move forward.

 

But the last couple of days have been difficult. I moved from my hometown to be with this woman, and when we broke up I didn't feel like staying where we were so I moved back home. I thought being back among my closest friends and my family would do me some good to help me get through the trauma.

 

Since then however, things aren't quite what I expected. My family is gone half the time due to work (I've been struggling to find a job since I came home so I don't really have something to occupy my time). My friends have all moved away or are in the process of doing so. I lost my best friend when she cheated and dumped me. Basically I just feel completely disconnected from everything and everybody right now.

 

I'm continuing to do things for myself. I work out, I continue my drawing and graphic design projects, I'm going out as much as I can without blowing money since I still don't have a job. I'm not saying I feel like a loser (which is a HUGE step up from the kind of person I was like years ago, when I verbally self-abused myself all the time), but man... I just feel completely alone right now. I've had a couple dates and I just don't feel the spark.

 

It's a weird feeling. I don't feel depressed or miserable. I just kind of feel... blah. Anyone know what I mean? Does this have something to do with my break up even if I don't see it?

Edited by thishatteredsymphony
Posted

It means that you are still sad, and bored. And being bored is the biggest problem we all have, I am afraid. Better times will come but now try to enjoy your family even in that little time they have... I wish I could do the same.

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Posted

Yeah, this is true. I do feel bored half the time. I was happy for the first month or so doing all my projects and working out, it was all really new for me. But now it's like it's all I do.

 

I need to find ways to meet new people.

Posted

online dating (even just for friendship)? Meet up? Couchsurfing? These are the places where I found people, whenever I needed to

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