MontyCarlo Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 First time post. So, 3 days ago I had to end the relationship with my girlfriend of almost 5 years. It was perhaps one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I love this girl to pieces but had to admit to myself first that I do not think it would be the "happy ever after" type thing I once thought it was. I wont go into details about why I ended the relationship but its what to do next. We are still friends on facebook, still linked as in a relationship and we both work in the same company. I know she is hoping I will change my mind, during the talk we had I did make it clear that this was the end. It wasn't going to be a 'break' or any such thing it would be a split. (I didn't tell her that I still have doubts over breaking up and that I may end up having to beg forgiveness from her, if she'd take me back). I have already hurt her enough just by ending it now. When we are both due back in work next week. People will be asking both of us how each other are. So I would like to talk to her to decide how we handle that. We work in different departments so are not in close contact all the time, but will still see each other as our roles coincide. I'm not bothered to be made out 'the bad guy'. I'll do whatever I can to help her situation at the expense of my own. Question is, how do I approach this with her? I'm 32, she is 26.
flitzanu Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 well, firstly you remove her from facebook, even block her. she doesn't need to see what you're up to, and you don't need to see what she is up to. as for work...everyone is likely going to be nosy, and you don't have to go into details, all you have to say is that you are no longer together. if you want, say you dumped her, or just say you split up.
Author MontyCarlo Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 I see what your saying about people in work, think I will just say we split up, if they want more information, I'll ask them what bra size they have, or what size condom they use. That info is none of my business like how we split up is none of theirs. Regarding facebook, I'll leave it the way it is. I don't use it at all, last post was months ago and only for news stories that really irritated me. Facebook was one of the reasons for the split, constantly on facebook rather than us two talking. If she wants to remove me and remove the relationship tie, I'll expect it (as I'll likely get an email about that). If I don't see it in a few months time, I'll log in and remove it myself. It won't affect me or future relationships that i have, as I don't intend to do anything like that for a long time. As I said, I still love her. I don't want to cause her more heartache, let her call the shots on how things proceed.
flitzanu Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 yeah, it's not often we get "the other side" of breakups, it's usually those that have been dumped. the dumpees -- very often love to stalk the facebook of the dumper to look for hints and clues and such, but if you don't log in and use it then maybe it won't be a big deal. just be prepared for anything you post on there to be picked apart piece by piece by your ex when she sees it
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