Jdogg577 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Hey everybody, I could really use some advice. My girlfriend and I of almost two years recently broke up two weeks ago. We discussed getting back together a week ago and it seemed like it was going happen, but a few days back she wanted to break up on good terms. Essentially, we've only really been with each other. She has another year left at college while I recently graduated. She thought our relationship wasn't really working in the last few months and thinks we could both really benefit from a break to grow and learn if this is really what we want in another person. I think this definitely has validity to it, in two weeks I have changed a lot, and learned a lot more about what she wants from me and what I want from me. She cried and cried over whether or not she was making the right decision. She insists and I know she's being genuine that there isn't anybody else and that she really will use this time to reflect and that if this was really meant to be then we'll find each other again. But moving on has been hard. I told her that I can't move on if I still love her and if we are still friends. She understands but she insists that this isn't really goodbye but like a see you around. The best thing I think for me to do is to sort of move on, heal, date other people and if I find in time that I still have feelings for her then maybe it was meant to be. But I'm scared of moving on in life without her and the thought of us dating other people is definitely hurting. Anyone have any input?
Chi townD Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Yeah, THIS is a classic case of GIGS. She may not have a guy lined up right now, but that's soon to change. She knows that you are not there and won't be there. So, rather than be lonely; break it off and party whiles she's young. But, remember. This is her choice. She doesn't want to come back. and this "maybe in the future" is crap. If you know, ultimately, you're going to be together in the future, then there's absolutely NO REASON TO BREAK UP NOW!!! So, you need to go NC on her. Remember, she made the choice to have you out of her life. So, you give her exactly that. BLOCK HER ON FACEBOOK!!! This will kill you if you don't. It's going to drive you nuts seeing pics of her at a college party having fun while you are busted up inside. Time to let her go. Time to heal and move on.
Emma1234 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Hey, my ex of two and a half years left me for the same reason: 'to find himself' I made the mistake of begging at the beginning before implementing no contact for a month in the hope of winning him back. I then reached out to him thinking that being friends would win him back but eventually I realised I was worth more than that. Time and focusing on myself has shown me his flaws and how cruel he actually was at the end of the relationship and so around about 40 days ago I went no contact, I've finally gone no social media contact as well after seeing him and another girl. It's liberating but hard. He messaged me a few days ago but it was something that wasn't even worth reading and so I continued with my no contact. It was the first time he reached out to me but I think it was just a mistake. I finally feel free from him although I miss what we used to have. Don't make my mistakes by staying in contact until you learn the hard way. I never thought I'd say this as I thought that my situation was unique but no contact truly is the only way. I really feel for you as you have a long journey ahead but you'll be fine soon. It's 3 months 3 weeks post break up for me and already I can honestly say I will never want him back, not only because of what he put me through for his own selfish reasons of finding himself, but because I've realised that we wouldn't have lasted in the long run anyway. We were too different and his ability to hurt me for himself has shown that he could not love me unconditionally which is the sort of love that I want to find. Good luck, stick to strict no contact. Trust me you'll know it's the right thing to do one day.
Author Jdogg577 Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Is this girl in her late teens early 20's? early 20s. Also our relationship was definitely not harmful in anyway, it really was great. But i kind of agree with her in that it is early for us to make a long commitment to each other without being certain that we are perfect for each other.
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