clairedunham Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 You dumped her so yea. You broke her heart and she has moved on
loversquarrel Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I won't be as harsh with this as others here have. I think your biggest mistake was not handling it different. Instead of breaking up with her, maybe you should have asked for some time to deal with things, especially where you didn't have anyone else in your sights. You obviously care and have feelings for her...you have to forgive yourself, not her. Then you have to think what's more important - the anger you feel at what she did, or missing her forever.
summerlovin Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I just felt that she was the type of girl who'd have more respect for herself because this guy friend of hers just ended up using her and she even admitted that. And she probably thought that you were the type of guy who would have more respect for a woman than to lead her on for 6.5 years and dump her out of the blue with no plausible reason. I don't mean to sound harsh, but your parents' relationship had nothing to do with your relationship at all, and I don't think it was your place to try to interfere in their business. You can't use their problems as an excuse for not wanting to commit to your girlfriend. You have no right to judge her for sleeping with another guy. Being dumped by the person you love most is one of the worst things a human can experience and is a huge blow to your self-esteem. She probably slept with the other guy to fill the void that you left her with or who knows, maybe things with the other guy are serious. If you really truly loved her and wanted her back, you would realize why she slept with another guy and it shouldn't make a difference to you. She's a grown woman and to call her a "slut" for doing what she did is really immature in my opinion. She doesn't have to apologize to you or even explain her actions, because she never would have slept with another guy if you didn't dump her in the first place. 1
PlumPrincess Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I really feel sorry for your girlfriend and I do hope she finds someone better than you. Breaking your girlfriend's heart and then having the gall to question her morals, is pathetic.
PlumPrincess Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Is this normal behavior to engage in 3 months after breakup from a 6.5 year relationship? You should ask yourself if it is normal to break up with someone after 6.5 years, to run away like a coward, to tell the other person very clearly that they should move on and then to judge them when they do.
Author sernewto Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 I do appreciate the honest answers. It definitely gives me perspective on things. Between my parents and I, there was a lot of hurt and pain and the thing was that I lived with them so I felt I was in this emotional prison and I had to get out so I left my gf in TX and went to CA.
loversquarrel Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Look, everyone has their perspective on things. Three months after you ran to the proverbial hills really isn't that bad at all (after all you didn't just break up, you left to another part of the effing country). It could have been 3 days, or less than a week. If that were the case after a serious 6.5 year relationship, I would tend to think that would be a bit quick and I would seriously question how she felt about you in the first place. BUT THAT ISN'T THE CASE.
Author sernewto Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Yeah, I never expected she would get with another 3 months after our breakup. Before me, she only really dated 1 guy and we lost our virginity to each other. She's really not the dating around type- I guess I wouldn't know since we were together from ages 22 to 28 - but I don't think she's the dating around type.
GG3 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Your excuse for dumping her was lame. I think you should be worried about your issues instead of hers. 2
GG3 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I've heard excuses like that from guys before as to why they wouldn't commit. Life always has problems. You can be in a relationship and still deal with things. Tell me...do you know of any married couples that decide "Oh we had a death in the family. We might have to get divorced now." Or "I am just so busy taking these classes. I may have to divorce my wife." No. Because those are not issues that end relationships. The lack of putting in the effort to commit does. Your parents' relationship problems are not your problems. You couldn't commit. 2
hotpotato Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 I've heard excuses like that from guys before as to why they wouldn't commit. Life always has problems. You can be in a relationship and still deal with things. Tell me...do you know of any married couples that decide "Oh we had a death in the family. We might have to get divorced now." Or "I am just so busy taking these classes. I may have to divorce my wife." No. Because those are not issues that end relationships. The lack of putting in the effort to commit does. Your parents' relationship problems are not your problems. You couldn't commit. Exactly. Just be real and admit you didn't want to commit. You let her go for a stupid excuse, and now you are upset that she is dating and sleeping around and not at home crying over you.
Salvatore85 Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 You're complaining about her waiting three months to move on? She deserves to be happy after you broke her heart. And honestly if you think 3 months is bad try 3 weeks after a five-year relationship and to top it off the guy is a friend of yours.
Sugarkane Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Why couldn't you work on your own issues and stay with her? I don't get it.
Author sernewto Posted August 29, 2013 Author Posted August 29, 2013 The thing is I had to get out of my parents house and Texas in order to clear my head. My dad is insane and he affected the way I think being in that environment so I had to get away to think straight and to better myself before I could be mentally fit to marry. I want to get back with my ex because I do love her but I keep thinking about her and this guy and what they did in the back of my head. It's like I kind of lost respect for her after she told me and it's hard to love someone when you kind of lose respect for them.
Philosoraptor Posted August 29, 2013 Posted August 29, 2013 I want to get back with my ex because I do love her but I keep thinking about her and this guy and what they did in the back of my head. It's like I kind of lost respect for her after she told me and it's hard to love someone when you kind of lose respect for them. You lost respect for her? This is nothing but your own ego talking. Someone who had only been with you, has moved on and now is sleeping with someone else. She's no longer "pure" in your eyes. Own the fact that your choice to end the relationship is the reason she isn't "pure" to you anymore. The fact is she could have slept with 10 guys for all you know. If you loved her, you'd accept that your choice to leave is the only thing that opened up her chance to move on to others. What you feel isn't love, it's ego and ownership.
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