Urgh, not again....

[Els]

I do want to preface this by saying that the situation I'm going to be complaining about pales in comparison to a real LDR, and I realize that. That being said... I really just want to vent. Do bear with me, please.

 

So, the bf has been stagnating at his job over the past year. We had actually been expecting him to be able to get the customary promotion in his current hospital without any problems, but there's been a recent glut in doctors, it seems, and he hasn't managed to get into a higher position.

 

Recently, an opportunity at a place 2 hours from here opened up. He talked to me about it, and I told him that he should do whatever he felt he needed to do. He applied for it, and today we heard that he got it. Starts late 2013.

 

Initially, I hadn't been too phased about it. We'd planned to keep our current apartment in our city, and he'd rent a small place close to work, and he said he'd come back on the weekends that he didn't work, and perhaps on weekdays sometimes. Didn't sound bad at all, especially given that we'd done MUCH worse for 2 years in the past...

 

But now that he's been confirmed for it, it hit me like a damned bucket of cold water. Realistically, I know he'll be working weekends quite a bit (he currently already does 1/3rd of them), and I'd probably encourage him not to drive back on weekdays after work if he's tired, as I'm worried about the dangers of high-speed highways on a tired driver, and he doesn't exactly get off work at 5. We only have one car, which he needs for work, so me driving to him is out of the question (and he'd probably be more worried about that anyway... ). So I'm estimating that we'll see each other maybe 4x/month on average, give or take.

 

Not so bad, right?

 

Wrong, I'm getting THAT surge of emotions. I'm sure all of you know what I'm talking about - the surge that predictably hits everyone when the end of a visit is nigh and they're going to leave. Or when they've just left. Our last 'visit' was about 3 years , but still. That feeling's back and clinging on tightly, like that annoying old friend that you never wanted to have.

 

I know this is for the better. And it's probably temporary, we estimate being able to live together again after 6 months to a year (although that's not a guarantee). I know he needs this to move forward - and more selfishly, I think that WE probably need this. Because I also know that he, being traditional ole' him, needs to be in a position where he is happy with where he is career-wise to want to settle down and marry. That ain't going to happen anytime in the foreseeable future if he turns this down.

 

It just still bloody sucks. I actually LIKED living together for the past 3 years. It sounds really odd, because you'd think I'd want some personal space and him NOT messing up our place all the time and leaving his socks around after so long, but no... I don't. I don't miss living by myself at all.

 

Sigh. Talk me out of this funk, please?

Edited August 23, 2013 by Elswyth

[Philosoraptor]

Of course it's going to hit you hard, nothing wrong with how you're feeling. It seems as if the two of you have put a pretty good plan in place to make this work.

 

Be patient, keep in contact, make the best of all your time together, and know you're doing the best thing for your future happiness together. These 6 or so months will fly by before you know it.

[Els]

Thanks, raptor. I guess I feel silly about being hit so hard, because, really, we did a LDR of a few thousand miles before, seeing each other every 6 months. This should be a walk in the park with ice cream and candy floss.

 

It just doesn't feel that way...

[Philosoraptor]

Thanks, raptor. I guess I feel silly about being hit so hard, because, really, we did a LDR of a few thousand miles before, seeing each other every 6 months. This should be a walk in the park with ice cream and candy floss.

 

It just doesn't feel that way...

The heart knows not of this logic you speak.

 

Brain: "We did it before. Further apart and seeing each other less often."

Heart: "But I don't wanna!"

[Els]

The heart knows not of this logic you speak.

 

Brain: "We did it before. Further apart and seeing each other less often."

Heart: "But I don't wanna!"

 

 

ROFL. So true....

[FitChick]

How is public transportation between the two cities?

[Els]

Quite bad, compared to driving, it'll take about twice as long. But yeah, I'll probably still consider it, at least during the summer when I have more time.

[miss_jaclynrae]

First of all, HUGE EFFING HUGS. I mean the biggest ones imaginable.

 

 

That news sucks.

I really wish I could help with the suckiness, but at least you have some good things that could come from this.

 

It will be so hard being away, but at the same time, in moments when you really need him, he wont be as far as your heart feels he is.

 

The separation DOES help you see far more clearly so many things about the person you love, even if you always saw them, it is like putting them under a magnifying glass, and it is amazing how much it can strengthen things.

 

Are there any plans later to end it?

[Els]

First of all, HUGE EFFING HUGS. I mean the biggest ones imaginable.

 

 

That news sucks.

I really wish I could help with the suckiness, but at least you have some good things that could come from this.

 

It will be so hard being away, but at the same time, in moments when you really need him, he wont be as far as your heart feels he is.

 

The separation DOES help you see far more clearly so many things about the person you love, even if you always saw them, it is like putting them under a magnifying glass, and it is amazing how much it can strengthen things.

 

Thanks, Jaclyn. Yes, it certainly does.

 

 

Are there any plans later to end it?

He'll hopefully be able to move back after 6 months to a year, but I'm well aware of how things don't always go according to plan.

 

My grad school programme (that is keeping me in the city) ends in the middle of next year, so there might be a possibility of us simply relocating there. Not sure if it's a good idea to do so given that the distance is only 2 hours, though (and the town he'll be working in sucks bigtime, we both prefer our current city immeasurably ).

[miss_jaclynrae]

Thanks, Jaclyn. Yes, it certainly does.

 

 

He'll hopefully be able to move back after 6 months to a year, but I'm well aware of how things don't always go according to plan.

 

My grad school programme (that is keeping me in the city) ends in the middle of next year, so there might be a possibility of us simply relocating there. Not sure if it's a good idea to do so given that the distance is only 2 hours, though (and the town he'll be working in sucks bigtime, we both prefer our current city immeasurably ).

 

 

There is a silver lining at least, once you are done with grad school the windows open for a new adventure. You never know what it will be, but at the least it could involve the two of you back together again.

[Els]

That's a good way of looking at it, I agree.

 

I think the part I'll miss most will be falling asleep in each others' arms every night. Or at least him falling asleep, I usually get up again after that, but still!