I want to tell him "Don't sign a lease" but wonder if it's too soon (5 day's) help!

[lifestyle1]

We lived together for 3 yrs (with my 3 kids) and together 4. We bith have been angry with each other for the last year. I'm in therapy he is not. We both conributed to the downfll and couldnt seem to overcome it without THE BIG blowup. He got mad at me and yelled get the f*ck out. I have heard it before. He has also threatened to leave. He doesnt mean it. He claims he wants to shake me up to get my attention, but I had warned, do no threaten or one day I will take you seriously - and then I did.

 

He left on Saturday (5 days) we have spoken every day. each day away the anger lessens and the realization sets in about what we each did.

 

I was so mad, I chnged the locks on the house. He was taking the new wash/dryer he bought, so I replaced it with the exact same and had it delivered 2 days later. He commented, you moved so quickly, I already changed things around in the house. (I let my 6yr old move into the empty 4th bdrm).

 

We talked and exchanged. I said I wish I could start over with him with a clean slate and no history. We both know each others X-'s (although his divorce is still not finalized)

I told him I don't feel OVER him, but I would need him to get a divorce to go forward. He said nothing.

 

He asked if I was staying in this community (I moved 40 mi to be closer to his workshp/his kids), and I said yes.

 

He said he'll knw this week if he's getting a rental house and if so, come for his other things.

He told me how bad he felt with the holidays coming up, how he has no home.

I cried, "why did you tell me to leave? if you didn't mean it?"

 

I want to call him and tell him don't sign a lease.

your feedback.

PS he does have some VA issues, but I wonder if our situations (both leaving our spouses for each other) contributed.

 

Most affairs don't make it in the real world. and we lasted 4 years and still feel it for each other. I am committed. should I tell him? or try the NC to get more perspective? afraid of his signing that lease. HELP

[tattoomytoe]

can he sign as month to month tenancy...at least he would have an out if need be. but some places do not offer that option.

in most cases, landlords and tenants can sign a lease for as long or as short as the other agrees to.....