millerband86 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I'm looking for insight from people who have gone through having trust/anxiety issues themselves because i'm having them and its affecting my relationship. Quick backstory, my g/f has a job where she has to meet with a lady after work (about 10pm) to exchange a laptop for the next day. She usually calls me while waiting, and calls me back right after they exchange, like 2 or 3 mins later. Last night she calls while waiting, we are talking for about 15 mins and she says "oh she just pulled in i'll call you back" About 15 mins go by still no call, and i'm starting to get anxious. I get up to use the bathroom and when I come back i see she called. I try calling back, no answer. Try again a minute later and she picks up. She goes on to say that the car she saw wasn't actually the woman's and she tried calling me back numerous time but it wasn't going through. Then when it finally did I didn't pick and the lady showed up at that instant and they exchanged quickly because it was raining. In my crazy little mind i'm confused so i ask "What do you mean it didnt go through?" and she says "I dont know it just wasn't going through, I dont control phones" What got me irritated was that the call wasn't going through for a solid 15 mins in a spot where we were just talking fine, no break in service 15 mins prior. I started to inquire then I stopped myself realizing I was just being paranoid and calmed myself and she went on to ask all about it and we discussed my anxiety etc. because i've been cheated on multiple times in the past and its almost like my mind is trained to assume the worst. I'm also wondering why didnt she just shoot a text in that timeframe? At the same token i'm thinking what could she really have been doing in that 15 mins that was so bad? My anxiety gets the best of me when situations like this crop up and I feel like her story wasn't adding up and that things were just too convenient like the phone "not going through" and the lady showing up just after she finally did call me back. But I also recognize that I was being paranoid because she has never given me reason not to trust her and she is a sweetheart. My questions: 1. Was I wrong to be a little skeptical? 2. Has anyone else had to deal with anxiety/trust issues themselves and how do you work through it? I love this girl and I dont want it to keep affecting our relationship. I want to also add i'm NOT constantly asking where she is or grilling her about every detail. This is an isolated situation.
Philosoraptor Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 i've been cheated on multiple times in the past and its almost like my mind is trained to assume the worst You can't hold her responsible for the mistakes of others in the past. Has she cheated on you? If not, she needs a clean slate. Yes you were wrong to be skeptical. If she hasn't broken your trust you need to give her your faith. Phones have issues at times, networks have lapses, and her trying to call you back didn't mean she called every 10 seconds. 2
forgetmenot75 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Yes, you are behaving like a freak. Poor girl You need to calm down, or you'll push her away. Ps. I've deal with anxiety and trust issues in the past. All because of my insecurities. 1
GI_Joy Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I've dealt with anxiety/trust issues in my current relationship thanks to my cheater-douchebag ex from my last one, the issues used to really be bad in the beginning but over time and thanks to my current bf's patience and overall AWESOMENESS the anxiety has gone down a lot. If you've been cheated on before or your past exes have broken your trust, you are sorta primed to react a certain way to certain "triggers" when really they are just innocent situations. You have to view your anxiety/trust issues from an outside perspective and remind yourself you're reacting to a personal insecurity, not an actual break in trust.
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