Chris715 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I don't know why I do this to myself. Tried to go out and have fun tonight, maybe meet some new people. Hung out with my friends at a hookah bar. Waited around for awhile to meet a girl my friend wants to set me up with but she was taking forever and l wasn't feeling it so I went home. Hung out alone at my computer, went on Facebook, and before I know it I'm pouring over the chat log between my ex and I from the last year. It was like a perfect little summary of our relationship, from when we met and started casually talking on Facebook to serious, in depth conversations we had when we were close, to all the ****ing fights and drama between us over the last 6 months. It feels good seeing the messages of her telling me she loves me and what I great boyfriend I am, or the ones from when we were just casual acquaintances and I had no idea what she would mean to me. And then I close out of Facebook and realize I'm living in the past, if even for just those 10 minutes. And here I'm sitting now, longing for something that's over and done, unable to accept it. People keep telling me things will get better, that I'll meet someone new and be happy again, but I don't see it. Been losing hope more and more over the past month and I'm starting to despair. Trapped with nowhere to go.
Author Chris715 Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Honestly I had forgotten it was all on there until I noticed it while I was online. But you're right, I need to get rid of it or I'll probably end up torturing myself more with it.
Soat Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Honestly I had forgotten it was all on there until I noticed it while I was online. But you're right, I need to get rid of it or I'll probably end up torturing myself more with it. So you deleted the facebook messages? (Don't just use archive, DELETE)
Petunia20 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I'm 47 days NC lol and I do the same. I look back at our vacation photos and the text messages he sent me while he was already with someone else (i didnt know). The pictures help in the sense that I realize we had a good thing at one point and did a lot together. I deleted my Facebook and Twitter to stop myself from looking at his updates. I also live in the past at moments. Its get easier not to tho. I've came to think of his messages as all of them being sweet little lies. So i have stopped looking at them. I suggest you save all the messages, pictures, etc to your laptop or a USB key and delete it from your phone or anything you often go to. When you' re ready you can go back and delete it all. I've done that and havent been tempted to open up my laptop to retrieve all that. 1
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