Jump to content

Should I send my ex boyfriend this letter through facebook?

clairedunham

By clairedunham
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
Posted

Dear (ex-bf name):

 

Forgive me for everything I did. I'll leave you in peace. Thank you for always being a good boyfriend even though things changed. You know that you'll always have a friend in me and neighbor. I wish you well and I hope everything with your music career works out. I know you'll make it.

mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

No!!!!!!!!

 

Please no. Leave him be. Focus on you and on healing and becoming a stronger and better version of yourself.

  • Like 2
  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted

why not?..........................

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I need more advice

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted

What do you expect to come from it?

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted
What do you expect to come from it?

 

That he'll realize he might lose me. I know its a bit manipulative but he told me he didn't love me anymore so what's there to lose?

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted
That he'll realize he might lose me. I know its a bit manipulative but he told me he didn't love me anymore so what's there to lose?

 

Your dignity?

Your sense of self worth?

 

He's told you he doesn't love you, there are no clearer signs than that.

Let him go, and move on with your life. For you.

  • Like 2
BrokenHeartedSavior Established Member

BrokenHeartedSavior

Posted
Posted

Whats to lose? Your self respect, self worth. He's the one dumping you, not the other way around, and he knows full well that he's losing you, he just doesn't care.

 

Do yourself the favor and as others have said: let him walk. Then shut him out! Don't give him the ego trip by saying he'll always have you as a friend and neighbor, as it devalues YOU. you are worth more than that.

  • Like 2
  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I cant lose him. He is the love of my life. He is frustrated with my behavior and is also going through family and financial issues. He says I have to change. Maybe he told me he didn't love me because he wants me to change.

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted
I cant lose him. He is the love of my life. He is frustrated with my behavior and is also going through family and financial issues. He says I have to change. Maybe he told me he didn't love me because he wants me to change.

 

But don't you see? You've already lost him.

He doesn't love you.

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted

He has done this before. Tells me he doesn't love me because of my behavior and I need to change only to tell me he still does love me but if he says he loves me he knows I'm not gonna change.

 

One time he was really mad at me and wouldn't speak to me for a week. I went crazy and I went to the gym he works out at and well he wasn't at the gym but I bumped into him in the supermarket. He asked me to go with him as he shops. I did. Then I had to run home as it was raining so hard I didn't have a key to the house but a remote control for the garage and in my house the light always goes out when it is raining hard and if the light went out I didn't have a way to get in. He tells me "No don't leave " with a sad face but I left.

 

Things like this confuse me

Lani Established Member

Lani

Posted
Posted

Things like that post confuse me.

 

Anyway, if he's done this before, then he'll do it again.

I can't give you any other advice than to let it go. Leave him. Stop embarrassing yourself by going back to a guy that is playing games and doesn't love you.

 

That's my advice. The end.

  • Like 3
  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Things like that post confuse me.

 

Anyway, if he's done this before, then he'll do it again.

I can't give you any other advice than to let it go. Leave him. Stop embarrassing yourself by going back to a guy that is playing games and doesn't love you.

 

That's my advice. The end.

 

But I'm telling you something legit. He has done this before because he is frustrated with my mood swings and paranoia and accusing him of cheating and liking other girls. He has told me "You have me" This man would crawl on his knees for me, tell me he was going to have kids with me, live with me till we are old etc etc. There has to be a chance for us. Anyways, I will not send that letter. It is stupid and transparent.

Knoxpwns Established Member

Knoxpwns

Posted
Posted
Things like that post confuse me.

 

Anyway, if he's done this before, then he'll do it again.

I can't give you any other advice than to let it go. Leave him. Stop embarrassing yourself by going back to a guy that is playing games and doesn't love you.

 

That's my advice. The end.

 

As hard as it is, Lani's advice is wise beyond your understanding.

 

I can tell you this because I was in the same shoes as you. My girlfriend left me, letting me know she doesn't love me anymore.

 

Why didn't I fight? because I already fought long and hard, just as you said you have. you have tried. perhaps you feel like you didn't do good enough, but in the end the only thing that held you back from changing anything was he didn't feel the same way you felt about him.

 

It hurts to realize that. It hurts a ****ing ton. I felt empty for weeks following. I still sometimes wonder what my purpose is without her.

 

 

But when it all comes down to brass tax, he doesn't love you anymore. Begging, pleading, trying to change, all those things only push him further away. he does not want to see you, he does not care that you're changing.

 

BUT. The only thing that can make him realize that he messed up by letting you go, is allowing it to happen. HE CANNOT MISS WHAT HE STILL HAS.

 

Does this mean he will eventually come crawling back? probably not. I'd probably put more money on "absolutely not" for your own sanity.

 

 

Trust Lani, Trust me, Trust all the people here who have been down the same road you are going down countless times. We have walked in your shoes more than you know. spend some time reading through other peoples stories and you will realize you aren't even KIND OF alone here.

 

Move on (as impossibly hard as this seems) work on making yourself happy without him (also seems impossibly hard right now) and maybe someday down the line he will see that you came out stronger, and perhaps he will be a stronger person as well.

 

At the end of the day, though, the only option that makes any sense is just realizing when you already fought the battle, and be willing to stand down when you finally lost the war.

 

It's going to hurt more than anything you realize. I have felt this pain myself. But in the end, I promise you, you will find a new guy. And he will love you more than you realized someone could love you. and you will feel the same about him. and you will forget about your ex who stopped loving you. you will finally realize that someone who can't love you isn't worth your time.

 

You will get better, I promise. the road is long and painful, but there is happiness to be had at the end.

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted

No. He and I are meant to be. I gave up on other exes. But not this one. I will still NC though. When I tell you we are meant to be its because we are. We are two peas in a pod and have the same values and deeply we think alike. I don't care what I have to do but I will not lose him. His birthday is coming up and I will get him a birthday present and if he accepts it that's great and if he doesn't. oh well. I deserve to be dumped. I did wrong and I know deep down he still deeply cares.

ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

Posted
Posted

Didnt read what you wrote.....didnt need to.

 

You send that letter, you will regret it....it wont get him back....it wont make him realize he needs you....

 

Thats it.

  • Like 1
  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I can promise you, as a veteran of heartbreak, this will not end well if you do it.

 

Do you know what happens when you send something like this to an ex? It is an amazing ego boost. They read it, they giggle, and they think to themselves "Wow, I'm amazing, they can't get enough of me!" They do not think "OMG, I have to get them back, look at this emotional plea!"

 

My advice is, don't do it. But I say that being a person who has done all of this before, and come out the other side.

 

If he doesn't love you, he's not worth it. Just leave it.

 

I'm not gonna send the letter. I will though get him a present. Now that I have a job I can pay for stuff. He spent so much money on me. SOOOO much money and only to make me happy but I didn't ask for it. He shows it like this. He was an angel with me. A great guy. My parents adored him and so do my friends.

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You were paranoid and accused him of cheating? Yikes. Maybe you do have some things to work on..

 

I do ........

jesse93 Established Member

jesse93

Posted
Posted

You seem insecure, did he flirt with other girls or something that made you feel such things? I had problems with my ex flirting with guys which made me very insecure thinking she was secretly cheating on me, there must be a reason behind why you believe hes talking to other girls and such, but you can't say that you know its meant to be thats what you want to believe, this guy could just be a phase of your life, a part time thing not a long term thing. Like you said though he always ends up coming back so why does it make you so worried this time? I feel like no matter what advice any of us give you'll have the mind set that you two are meant to be together. I think eventually you will realize you two aren't meant to be, though so you can either prolong your pain or take action while you can.

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You seem insecure, did he flirt with other girls or something that made you feel such things? I had problems with my ex flirting with guys which made me very insecure thinking she was secretly cheating on me, there must be a reason behind why you believe hes talking to other girls and such, but you can't say that you know its meant to be thats what you want to believe, this guy could just be a phase of your life, a part time thing not a long term thing. Like you said though he always ends up coming back so why does it make you so worried this time? I feel like no matter what advice any of us give you'll have the mind set that you two are meant to be together. I think eventually you will realize you two aren't meant to be, though so you can either prolong your pain or take action while you can.

 

It is a really complicated situation but yea I am insecure. Why can it be that you are meant to be with a person? Then why are you all here apart from letting it all out? Even though you say some people aren't meant to be you will always want to find somebody who is and stick with them so all you are doing is contradicting yourself. I am in love with this man.

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Anyways. I will stick to NC but I will get him a birthday present cause he is my best friend and he deserves it. I dont expect him to get back with me because of it

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted

But it's hard :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

  • Author
clairedunham Established Member

clairedunham

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I believe we have multiple soul mates. Some are sexual, some are not. Some are temporary, some are lifelong fixtures. I don't believe in one perfect person and that's it. Otherwise, you are all screwed. The chance of meeting that 1 in 7 billion? You all might as well all give up now...

 

You are wrong. I'm not religious but the fact that you said we have sexual partners is stupid. Sex is a great thing but it only matter with the person you truly love. I do not care for sex unless its with the person I love and care about. If I have a sexual attraction and sleep with someone I probably would but they are not my soul mates.

BigGirlPantiesOn Established Member

BigGirlPantiesOn

Posted
Posted

There is no human power that will talk you out of doing what you want to do. I say you give in to your manipulative thoughts, experience the horrible pain that will result from them and hopefully that pain will serve as your teacher.

 

I only learn through the 2 by 4 that beats my ass into submission and surrender. Humiliating rejection does that.

  • Like 1
Soat Established Member

Soat

Posted
Posted
I cant lose him. He is the love of my life. He is frustrated with my behavior and is also going through family and financial issues. He says I have to change. Maybe he told me he didn't love me because he wants me to change.

 

Please read my guide in my signature. This person told you to buzz off, and you're running back makes you look pathetic. Get some pride!

As for the insecurities, well maybe he was doing something you picked up on which made you insecure...

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...