Ruby Slippers Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 When I briefly did OLD, about 95% of the contacts I got were sexual in nature, to some degree. Some were milder, some were outright dirty. I ignored any guy who came at me with sex talk of any kind - which eliminated about 95% of them. My response was always to simply ignore. When you ignore a creep, he goes away eventually. Any kind of response is a mistake, though - they seem to take any response as a "yes", no matter what you actually say. 7
mercuryshadow Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I've kept up with some of your dating threads on here, Star, and I must say, I am frustrated FOR you. You seem like a woman who should have no trouble at all finding a great guy. I really don't understand it. But look at it this way. Men who behave that way toward you are making it very easy for you to weed out the creeps. That is a plus for sure. When I was using OLD, there was one instance before I'd even met a dude and he was ambitiously texting me. He wanted to take me out. Okay, great, I was game. He then proceeded to tell me how to dress. (I don't mean he suggested formal attire, but he told me exactly how he wanted my outfit to look, even down to the shoes.) As if I wasn't disgusted enough already, he then proceeded to ask me, "If you were in front of me now, naked and helpless, what would you do?" I told him I'd call the cops. And stopped responding to his texts. It took about a day for him to stop harassing me. Creep to the max. I really hope you have better luck. If I were to give you a word of advice, my FI not only sent me texts, but initiated phone calls when we were first getting to know one another. When we finally met, it was as if we'd known each other for a long time, and the rest fell into place so naturally. 2
xxoo Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 As with a small child, or an internet troll, any attention is good attention. Even negative attention reinforces their behavior. Ignore the pervs. Ignore, ignore, ignore. You can't stop them from existing, using OLD, or messaging you, but you can deny them any interaction. 1
johan Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Tell them you'll be posting any future interactions onto Facebook, using their real names. 3
BradJacobs Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 She's not to blame for the guy wanting to get sexy time from a woman he stopped pursuing two months ago. That's ridiculous. Why she responded is a mystery but ... meh ... it has nothing to do with the initial text. 1
O'Malley Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) Some of my friends have had similar experiences with guys in their thirties; for the losers in question it's an easy way to put out feelers to various women to see if one will actually bite. I'd also guess that for some of them, negative attention gives them as much validation as the positive. You can thank them for revealing their shortcomings early on. If someone can't even bother to make an effort in the initial stages, what could anyone expect of him later on? Edited August 23, 2013 by O'Malley 1
RedRobin Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I went out with a guy in early June; we had great chemistry, all we did was kiss. He was rebounding from a breakup, and disappeared. Fine. No big loss. Last weekend, (so, like...over two months later), I was awoken by a text: "I want to rip your clothes off and kiss your whole body!" (That's a funny/awkward attempt at sexting, but, okay...) I didn't even immediately remember who he was, it's been that long. "Steven who?" I thought. The next morning, I responded: "Nice drunk texting. I think you had the wrong Star!" He says no, it was me, he was thinking of me, wasn't drunk. I laugh it off, and say it's weird to hear from him after he disappeared so long ago. He apologizes for going MIA. I ignore him. He then texts me again tonight, just now, and says he's going out of town this weekend (aren't they all?), but if I send him a sexy pic, he might change his mind. COME ON. I balked, and he told me I'm BORING. I laughed, and said he had some nerve contacting me out of nowhere and asking me for a "sexy pic"! He then told me I was playing games. HUH? SERIOUSLY. WTF is going on here?! WHAT has happened to GENTLEMEN? Cock shots from the last guy? This crap from this one? The guy in between these two regularly asking, "What are you wearing?" and getting all suggestive? OUT OF NOWHERE. Not invited! OUT OF NOWHERE. Like, they've got some sexual version of Asperger's! And NO, I'm not presenting myself as some hoochie to these dudes. And they're all in their late 30's! I either get creeps like this, or guys who are indifferent. I give up. :stompingoff: Welcome to my world... Don't know what to tell you Star... My take on it is this is a rite of passage for these dudes... It is not anything you are doing. Also, don't respond AT ALL when someone sends a request like that. To guys who do that, they are getting validation (even negative validation) by a response of any kind. Just delete and move on... Edited: just read the other posts... (doh!) It looks like I'm in agreement with others here... 3
GorillaTheater Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Depending on the pics you put up you can get those responses. "She posted a pic with cleavage, so she was practically BEGGING me for a portrayal of my Member!" 3
Janesays Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 This is why I didn't give guys from OLD my phone number. I'd set up any meetings/dates strictly through the site and if they asked for my phone number, I'd just tell them I didn't feel comfortable giving that out to someone unless I knew them better. That way, if I 'nexted' them, I didn't have to worry about them calling/texting me months down the line.
tbf Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Men are taught to make a move fast or be fz'd As a guess, this would be the reason. When PUA Internet memes have infested mainstream, guys, especially socially awkward ones, learn this concept but don't have the savvy to know how to flirt and suggest by inference. So they pull out the meat... 3
BluEyeL Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Depending on the pics you put up you can get those responses. Well, with the same pics, I got lots of sexual responses on OKC (e.g. DTF!!) and not even one dirty one on match.
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 "She posted a pic with cleavage, so she was practically BEGGING me for a portrayal of my Member!" Right! Me finishing a marathon, me skiing, me on the top of Half Dome, me at birthday brunch with friends... ...I'm asking for it! I deserve to be treated this way! Thanks, everyone. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 This is why I didn't give guys from OLD my phone number. I'd set up any meetings/dates strictly through the site and if they asked for my phone number, I'd just tell them I didn't feel comfortable giving that out to someone unless I knew them better. That way, if I 'nexted' them, I didn't have to worry about them calling/texting me months down the line. I have never texted someone from OLD after they made it clear they weren't interested. Usually what happens is I keep their phone number in my contacts list and any text messages they sent me, just to reminisce about that time when some woman may have allegedly be interested. At least enough to give me their number. I can't imagine texting someone months down the line, let alone sexting them....
serial muse Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I went out with a guy in early June; we had great chemistry, all we did was kiss. He was rebounding from a breakup, and disappeared. Fine. No big loss. Last weekend, (so, like...over two months later), I was awoken by a text: "I want to rip your clothes off and kiss your whole body!" (That's a funny/awkward attempt at sexting, but, okay...) I didn't even immediately remember who he was, it's been that long. "Steven who?" I thought. The next morning, I responded: "Nice drunk texting. I think you had the wrong Star!" He says no, it was me, he was thinking of me, wasn't drunk. I laugh it off, and say it's weird to hear from him after he disappeared so long ago. He apologizes for going MIA. I ignore him. He then texts me again tonight, just now, and says he's going out of town this weekend (aren't they all?), but if I send him a sexy pic, he might change his mind. COME ON. I balked, and he told me I'm BORING. I laughed, and said he had some nerve contacting me out of nowhere and asking me for a "sexy pic"! He then told me I was playing games. I don't have anything to add except that this made my blood pressure go up. 3
BluEyeL Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 With more severe moderation you learn to hide your intentions. I don't think match moderates emails. You can report them, of course, but after the fact. I did meet a perv on match though, but he didn't email on the site, he became a perv gradually and after I entertained his texting and didn't cut him off at the first sexual innuendo. Next time around I'd know better.
Versacehottie Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 That he said you were "boring" after not wanting to send a pic out of the blue is: NOT HOT on his part. ugh!
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 That he said you were "boring" after not wanting to send a pic out of the blue is: NOT HOT on his part. ugh! He also said that younger girls are much more playful and don't play games. As though I'm an old lady hag who just can't get down and have fun.
mercuryshadow Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 He also said that younger girls are much more playful and don't play games. As though I'm an old lady hag who just can't get down and have fun. This guy doesn't even deserve the satisfaction of a response from you. Ugh.
Keenly Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Yeah, I'd like to have more than a couple margaritas while watching the Giants before your penis shows up on my phone. Is that too much to ask of your average dude? And if I haven't heard from you since our last/second date two months ago, let's not start the conversation by telling me what you want to do to me naked, and then ask for a picture. Is that too much to ask? You fellas should be angry with your bros, because it only takes a few bad apples to give y'all a bad name (and yes, I know, it works both ways). You wonder why I'm single? This is why. This is precisely why. I go from one extreme (unsolicited cock shots) to the other (hug at the end of the second date, with no innuendo ever). I'm hoping the pendulum will eventually settle somewhere in the middle. I most certainly am not mad at the large section of 18 to 30 something's that behave like this, chase it just makes guys like me look five hundred times better. I never have asked for naked pics. My sexual innuendo is subtle, yet perceivable. Its also way more classy. So women see these douches and instantly have a higher opinion of a real gentleman. Besides. Do you know why guys act like this? Because women have shown them that it works on them. So they keep doing it . The death of the gentleman is a direct result of the death of the lady. 2
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 This guy doesn't even deserve the satisfaction of a response from you. Ugh. He got one: "Oh f*ck off." 1
GorillaTheater Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) I figure I can charm my way into a woman's panties without sending her a dick pic or a "hey, show me yer boobz" text, but YMMV. Edited August 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3
Author Star Gazer Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 I figure I can charm my way into a woman's panties without sending her a dick pic or a "hey, show me yer boobz" text, but YMMV. :love: 1
tbf Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) I figure I can charm my way into a woman's panties without sending her a dick pic or a "hey, show me yer boobz" text, but YMMV.It's really not all that difficult to flirt which is automatically by inference, without going bat shyte graphic and crass. Edited August 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3
Versacehottie Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 He also said that younger girls are much more playful and don't play games. As though I'm an old lady hag who just can't get down and have fun. I love how hilarious he is....and completely desperate.... so funny this type of guy who has to throw out an insult when he doesn't easily get what he wants....just keep it MOVIN', play-a if INDEED this is the case....reach out to one of those other girls. I would take this as my comedy dating story of the week rather than the insult he tried to make it. Hilarious! 3
GorillaTheater Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I'm in a weirdly disfunctional marriage where my wife and I screw like rabbits even though we barely tolerate each other, and other than Letsbe I feel like I'm the only sane man on the thread today. Why does pointing out behavior which by any reasonable standard constitutes dambassery get turned into a gender war by some guys? Do you doofi ever get laid? 7
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