jddg5wa Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) There is this girl that I've known for almost a year now, met at college. I didn't know if I'd be back to the school after that semester so before break I brought up being in a relationship. She said not right now because of school. She didn't think she would have time to keep up with a relationship which I thought made sense. I knew she cared because she said that wasn't fair to me. She didn't say but it also wasn't long since the last guy she was getting to know totally ignored her which had that hurt her a lot. After that for not being a relationship we still grew pretty close and kept hanging out. Even after I left the school we did visit during her breaks. Though when we weren't visiting each other I didn't hear from her that often. During the summer I visited her and then she came to my place for a few days. My grandpa lives on our property and when I got back my mom thought I should say "hi" since I'd been gone a while. So her and I went to say "hi" to my grandpa. It was a bit odd since my grandpa assumed that she was my girlfriend. When we were leaving he made it a point to say that she wasn't my girlfriend. I realized now that I didn't even think to ask her why and she actually said it a few times. Though that was forgotten, she stayed for a few more days and we had a great time. Since we visited I've only talked to her but once. Other times I sent her a Facebook message with not much response. A couple of weeks later I sent a text saying "hi" with no response. tl;dr Now I've found out that she is at a new college this year, from a Facebook post her Mom made, and I wanted to text her and see how her new experience is going. The problem is that I don't want to come off as needy and "chasing", especially after no responses from previous messages. I'm wondering should I give her space and wait for her to contact me? The last time I hadn't heard from her she was the one to contact me. But that might have been because I sent her a valentines card. Though she has initiated other times. I just want to contact her but it might come off as needy. Or am I totally over thinking this and should not worry and just giver her the space she needs? Edited August 23, 2013 by jddg5wa
Philosoraptor Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Woah buddy, take a step back. You are really overthinking things. She didn't respond to your last message and has made no effort to get in contact with you over the last couple weeks. If she was bothered by not talking to you she would have responded. Just live your life right now and don't worry about her. There are other available girls around and this one has already rejected your relationship proposal and hasn't made much of an effort at all to contact you. She's just not that into you.
Author jddg5wa Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) Just live your life right now and don't worry about her. There are other available girls around and this one has already rejected your relationship proposal and hasn't made much of an effort at all to contact you. She's just not that into you. Yea, kind of thought I was over thinking things. I agree that I need to just live my life and not worry but I'm not sure she's not into me. At least when we have hung out I get that she's into me. It's just seems that to her a relationship isn't priority, school is, which means I'm not a priority. She's already told me this, surprised it hasn't gotten through my head yet. I know it might seem like nothing but we still hung out and visited a lot after I brought up a relationship which was last Christmas. On our most recent visit she fumbled the word "Your such a dork, I love y..." but caught herself and I wouldn't dare have brought it up. Maybe it's not that I don't know if she likes me but instead not knowing how to deal with the situation. I find it hard to just live my life without wanting to contact her. Even when I know that if she does like me she would contact me at some point. I'm just realizing to be less needy I need to "forget" about her let it be for a while. How can I do that? Edited August 23, 2013 by jddg5wa
Philosoraptor Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 If someone truly wants to be with you they will make it a priority to do so. Even if it's just keeping in contact while away. Honestly, how hard would it have been to respond to either of your last messages? Or to have made any sort of contact since you last saw one another? A text takes less than a minute, and sadly she didn't decide that those minutes were worth taking to respond to you.
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