2sure Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 "Wish I could make everyone happy " That's the kind of phrase used by a person projecting themselves as a martyr. More true is, " I wish I could have everything I want without conflict or flack from others" 3
Author dustystar Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 I know that I may be behaving foolishly, but is it ok for me to just go on Skype to see if MM sends me messages? So far I haven't responded to his texts. He skyped at midnight last night and said "Sorry for being so junk." (I didn't respond.) Is it evil of me to feel a little bit happy? I'm guessing that most of you will tell me to uninstall Skype. I want to hang on to his breadcrumbs of messages just a little bit more. Is it okay to wean myself off of him like this? I find it impossible for me to shut off all forms of communication just like that.
2sure Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I'm sure it's natural to want to know he feels like you do, misses you . So, you check but don't reply. Then, after awhile, if he doesn't leave a message, you write something to prompt him.... And that's how it goes. Wouldn't it be better if you had left him so positive you didn't want to hear from him that you knew he wouldn't and wouldn't even bother to check? I don't know that's possible now, but it would be easier.
ladydesigner Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Thing is they think they love us. But I think what they call love is very different to what we would define as love. So it is impossible for us to really understand their way of thinking. You can go crazy thinking did he love me or not? In the end I think you have to just try not to think about it, as there will be no answer. Who knows who they love? One thing for sure is that they love themselves the most. Good for you OP, here's hoping NC will stick. NC=No new hurts. 1
Cocochai Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I wouldn't totally rule out he "Doesn't love you". We all have in our own minds what love is suppose to be and feel like. But like the saying goes "What's love got to do with it"? Guys are way better at leaving their emotions at the door but when a man is in love I believe he's worst then a Women... That's why a lot don't let their emotions go there. You did the right thing sweety. At least you were able to tell him face to face how you want to move on with closure.
Feb Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I know that I may be behaving foolishly, but is it ok for me to just go on Skype to see if MM sends me messages? So far I haven't responded to his texts. He skyped at midnight last night and said "Sorry for being so junk." (I didn't respond.) Is it evil of me to feel a little bit happy? I'm guessing that most of you will tell me to uninstall Skype. I want to hang on to his breadcrumbs of messages just a little bit more. Is it okay to wean myself off of him like this? I find it impossible for me to shut off all forms of communication just like that. Going LC, or "weaning off" as you put it, delays the healing process, and there is too much temptation to stay back in contact. LC is damaging because you are not in the right mindset of moving on and getting him out of your life in all respects and that's what needs to happen. Some people have to go LC because they work with each other, but they will acknowledge that LC is painful. You should install Skype and stop all forms of contact if you really want to feel better and get out of the fog. Wanting to hang on to his breadcrumbs is like an alcoholic trying to cure themselves by drinking 6 vodkas a day instead of 12 -- you are addicted and the breadcrumbs keep you in the addiction.
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