thejazzynator Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I have been talking to this girl for over a month in a half before she finally went silent on me. First before the date we were talking, video chatting, calling, texting each other all the time. Then the first time we met I met and had dinner with her and her mom which was nerve wrecking but went well. We had sex in her car and afterwards the subject of seeing other people was brought up. She said that just because I went and saw other people doesn't mean that she would. I told her I would just focus on her. I noticed after that she became a little more distant with talking and texting. I would keep saying how much I liked her and she would act like she couldn't believe and say stuff like "aaaww really?" all the time it and it almost got annoying, like how many times must I say it for you to believe me? Then on our second date she said she likes to test people, and made one person date her for nearly 4 months and even then they still used and hurt her. She is used to being used, cheated on, and hurt. She is an incredibly pretty girl and gets used for her looks. I told her that I would not have sex with her again until we got into a relationship. She brought up seeing other people again and said the reason was because most of the people who date her for a while end up not really liking her after they get past looks, they still hurt her, and that she would feel more special if we chose each other even though we dated other people. I still told her that I just didn't do things like that, I have always dated on person at a time. She said we could play the third date by ear and I admit I was still nervous on the second date because I really liked her. She got even more distant on me and I noticed a bit of attitude with her on the phone, like she had gotten meaner. We were talking about my moms new car and she kept asking what year it was and was kind and when I told her she acted like she was expecting something more expensive. I did catch that from her the first few weeks we spoke that she liked the more expensive things in life and I caught it from her mom too. They pay out of pocket for her to go to private college. She is rather judgmental at times. She is smart, 4.0 student, 4 scholarships, gorgeous, but she smokes weed and parties when she cans. I don't smoke weed and was supposed to try it with her but we ended up having sex the first time we met. So after the second date I told her I would stick by her and treat her right and she keeps saying we will see, all the while getting more distant. One night we spoke on the phone and before she went to bed I told her that I cared about her more than she thought. She asked me to explain and I tried to let her know what I meant but I really wasn't saying much that I had before so she went to bed. Finally I got scared, I realized I really liked this girl and I wasn't paying anybody else any kind of attention and at first I was going to back off and start calling other girls as back ups. Then I realized that's exactly the kind of behavior she may have been looking for. I had the idea that she may have been looking for me to say how much I cared about her over the phone that night, and I texted her and told her that I really liked her, was slowly starting to fall, was not trying to rush things but I just really liked her it was true. My friends told me I came on to strong and blew it but surprisingly she kept talking to me, she said she was just shocked because she wasn't there with her feelings yet. I told her I just had a big crush on her. Overall I think I just had a crush on her because things got so rushed with us and we reacted differently, she pulled away and I tried to pull her in because I thought that was what she wanted. I also noticed she has some jealousy issues, I posted a photo of a very pretty female friend of mine on instagram and she hadn't been responding to my texts much, usually doesn't like any of my photos on instagram but she liked that one minutes after it was posted and was talking to me much more the next day. She kept talking to me, all day, even while at work. We kept it platonic. I didn't get to see her before she left for college again this fall but said it wasn't a goodbye but more of a see you later. We continued talking and I told her that I just wanted to focus on her, I wasn't wishy washy, that I knew what I could handle, and I was confident in myself enough that even if things didn't work out I would be ok knowing I focused on somebody I liked. I figured she would appreciate this because she is used to people not focusing on her and treating her like crap. She hasn't spoken to me in 3 days since and hasn't had much activity on her instagram either, although I have been making more posts about my female friend because she is one of my best friends and I get to see her next week. Is she playing mind games? Has she moved on? At this point I don't care if she has I have other options but if she still does care I don't want to hurt her or get hurt. Should I contact her or let her hit me up? I am still trying to be considerate but I am starting to push myself further away from her each day. I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out what she wants, chasing her and I am tired of it. I have been told I am too nice, but I am not about to change how kind I am because of how she acts because somebody will appreciate it one day. Or should I put my foot down and tell her to respect me more? Is she worth it? I don't mind waiting for her if she is actually interested but her flakiness and attitude are not going well with me and as time goes by, even with these few days I am starting to question if she is worth it. I have plenty of other options but I can't deny I liked her a lot, and I don't want to do the wrong thing if all I needed to do was wait for her but for how long? My friend that's coming next week is willing to date me, she knows how sweet I am we have a long history and and never hooked up for one reason or another. She said she would've gotten with me had I been more aggressive and that I was too nice and she kind of liked being told what to do and that if I were more aggressive with the girl I was dating now she would be talking to me now and that I need to stop letting girls run me over. However, she still says she wants to be with me but I know I still need to toughen up. At the same time, I am the one they all come running back to for one reason or another, or stalk me. What should I do about this girl?
Philosoraptor Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Are you out of your mind? This one seems like a nutter. Full of games and everything else. Do you really want to go through this mental journey for someone who is taking out her past frustrations out on you? She even honestly said she likes to test guys. Wonder why after 4 months of tests her past guy didn't work out? It was the 4 months of tests and games. Find someone who is mature with what she wants and much more stable both mentally and emotionally. Again... are you out of your mind? 2
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