miss_jaclynrae Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Who here keeps in touch with an ex whom you had a significant relationship with?
Silly_Girl Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Only the one I share a son with. I've never been interested in maintaining friendships with exes.
todreaminblue Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Who here keeps in touch with an ex whom you had a significant relationship with? i am friends with both........the most recent ex is phone contact and email only.......but we actually have the closer friendship...that is mutually supportive.......i have children to both exes.....no i am not a slut...... 15 years for the last relationship and three for the one before......takes me back to nineteen years of age and very naive....and trusting.......still havent changed much.....unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it
hotpotato Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I do! Previous ex and I were together about 3 years, and we have been friends for nearly 4 years. We were in nc for a few months after the break up. 1
serial muse Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I'm "in touch" in that a couple of them requested friendship on FB, and I accepted. But we don't really communicate personally. That's probably my decision more than theirs; I guess I'm just not really interested enough. It's hard enough staying in touch with close friends!
AMusing Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I'm in intermittent touch with only one ex (broke up ~5 years ago). We live across the country, so texting/emailing is our only contact. After we broke up, we stopped talking for maybe half a year. He called me out of the blue when he was having a real mental health crisis and didn't know who else he could turn to. I helped him through it. Since then we've checked in every so often. There are zero romantic feelings anymore; he was genuinely happy for me when I found my current boyfriend, and expects me to be happy for him when he starts dating someone (which I am).
Simon Phoenix Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I have several that are Facebook friends, but I talk to them sporadically. There will be an occasional checkup and it's usually friendly, but there's only one of them who I'd seek out if she lived closer. My current ex have been off-and-on on communicating, currently off. She says she wants to be friends, but also seems stuck on the reason we broke, so even if we tried to be friends (I'm not against the idea, but I'm very against being in a awkward rehashing situation) I'm really not sure how well it would go.
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I'm friendly with my exes but not friends- not in real life or Facebook. I think a couple if them are on my LinkedIn but I'd have to check to be sure. I don't really see the point in being friends. Catching up every few years- ok. Being happy for them if they get married or have a baby or something? Of course. I'd love to hear those updates. Being close friends? No.
Els Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I do, but quite minimally. Perhaps the occasional online banter once a month or so. I think a close friendship with an ex would be crossing boundaries, but acquaintanceship is okay.
Phoe Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I maintain no contact with all of my exes. Not even facebook friends. One is quite specifically blocked in every way possible due to stalker-ish tendencies. Cheated on me and left me for another girl 7 years ago, she dumped him after a month and he immediately tried to crawl back. 7 years later and he still stalks me. He's showed up at my work twice in the past month. A very strange truck was on my street when I came home last night. As I pulled onto my street it had it's headlights facing me, and proceeded to drive backwards the whole way up the road in front of me, headlights blinding me. As I reached my house and stopped in the driveway, the truck suddenly stopped, turned perpendicular to the street and shined it's lights right up my driveway and straight at me. I completely freaked out and called my dad. I sat in my car for a few minutes on the phone with my dad before the truck pulled up RIGHT BEHIND ME and blinded me with the lights, then it backed away again, pulled up a few houses away and shut off completely. I immediately bolted inside the house and made sure every door and window was locked. My dad decided he's getting me a gun and shooting lessons. I don't feel safe. Pretty sure it was him. Moral of the story - NOPE. Absolutely no contact with exes 1
salparadise Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I have one that I dated more than a year, we broke up eight months ago. We went NC a few months and have been talking on the phone once a month. She's knows me better than anyone, is caring and supportive. We share our feelings almost the same way as when we were together. I guess it will have to stop when one of us gets into a relationship with someone new, but for now I appreciate having her as a friend and confidant.
MrTurk Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 My ex wife and I used to chat on a regular basis about her kids, work, just regular stuff. But once she got serious with a new guy that has stopped. I think we've only talked once or twice this year. The woman I dated before her committed suicide so..... And a few gf's from way back have contacted me via facebook....but they dont really care, they are just nosy and want to see where I'm at in life and compare themselves to me.
MissBee Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 (edited) Who here keeps in touch with an ex whom you had a significant relationship with? I only have one ex with whom I keep in contact with...and it ebbs and flows. The rest, not really. A few are my FB friends and stuff like that where we may exchange casual conversation once in a while but nothing significant. If I see them out and about I can exchange pleasantries but we're not friends in the sense that we speak often or I keep abreast of their lives. I have one whom I do not speak with at all, that breakup in 2009 led me to LS in fact (with a diff user name) and I haven't spoken to him since 2010 and cannot imagine speaking to him ever again....it would just be very awkward. Edited August 23, 2013 by MissBee
CarrieT Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 With the exception of my most recent Ex (reportedly now living in an alcoholic rehab half-way house) and my ExH (cheated on me with other men and is probably dead from AIDS), I am good friends with all my Ex's. I even had my Ex from 20 years ago over for dinner -- with my fiancé -- last week. We all got along famously!
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 My ex wife and I used to chat on a regular basis about her kids, work, just regular stuff. But once she got serious with a new guy that has stopped. I think we've only talked once or twice this year. The woman I dated before her committed suicide so..... And a few gf's from way back have contacted me via facebook....but they dont really care, they are just nosy and want to see where I'm at in life and compare themselves to me. Now you make more sense. I'm really sorry you have been through what you have been through. I've had 2 bf's die over the course of my life. Not from suicide- one from a car accident. One from a stroke. I'm still not ok from either one. Not sure if I ever can be. 2
Emilia Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I do. I talk to and see my ex husband on a very regular basis, I also know his girlfriend and we get on just fine. We still have a lot friends in common and weren't going to ruin that for each other. I also keep in touch with a couple of ex boyfriends sporadically, especially one who serves in the army as I prefer to keep an eye out for his well being. Most I don't have an issue with really, there is one I dated a couple of years ago who annoyed me a fair bit and I cut contact with him but the others are welcome to call or text or whatever.
AMusing Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 [...] One is quite specifically blocked in every way possible due to stalker-ish tendencies. [...] I don't feel safe. Christ. I'm sorry you're going through this. Stalkers are serious ****. An ex stalked me last year for several months; I can't imagine dealing with it for several years. The anxiety surrounding it made me sick, literally. I feel for you. Have you looked into a restraining order?
mercuryshadow Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Several have reached out to me over the years. Even the ones who did quite wrong by me, and as for those, I forgive them but did not wish to speak with them. I've spoken with casual ones from hs sporadically, but nothing more. The only ex I am forced to maintain contact with is my son's father. We're cordial, but I wouldn't say we are friends. If my most recent ex were to reach out to me, I'd tell him to never contact me again.
acrosstheuniverse Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Neither of the two men I had long term 2-4 year relationships with. The guy who had the affair with me is still a friend, but although we do have to see each other from time to time we don't make an effort to hang out, we just have the occasional text. Other than that, yeah sure! Depends on what you class as an ex. I'm still friends with all of the friends that I've slept with (not as many as that sounds but still... a handful over my lifetime maybe?) and have a very good close relationship with a couple of them. My boyfriend isn't bothered by it at all and I'm sure at some point will be introduced to the ones I'm still good friends with. Possibly this Sunday for one of them.
firemanq Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Christ. I'm sorry you're going through this. Stalkers are serious ****. An ex stalked me last year for several months; I can't imagine dealing with it for several years. The anxiety surrounding it made me sick, literally. I feel for you. Have you looked into a restraining order? Yeah, call the cops and tell them he is violating the restraining order. You need to listen to your Dad. Ask Dad's opinion on a LCP .380.
mea_M Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Who here keeps in touch with an ex whom you had a significant relationship with? I will say this. That is not a good idea. Especially if relationship was one of long ago. The past is the past for a reason. Mea:) 1
Divasu Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 None really. One from 20 years ago will reach out to me every few years or so just to say hi and catch up. We were pretty close and remained platonic friends afterwards.
adelia Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I do but not on a regular basis and purely friendship. I have zero attraction for him and we have been over for years nut we do care for one another as friends.
edgygirl Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 I keep in touch with my most important ex, but it's because he is the one who initiated and behaves "normally" with me. We have occasional conflicts as my ex-girlfriend told him all the things I did on a vacation (I was in a slump, crazy and fooled around with someone else while he wanted to get back with me but it was a confusing time for me). She did it to win him. And she did, they are together now. I refuse to talk with her for obvious reasons as I consider her a traitor. Anyway, I still chat with him from time to time. I have a feeling he still loves me but it's too late for us. I think it all depends on how the former couple interacts in the present, even if it was a bad breakup.
Antenna_Of_Destiny Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 NEVER! I make a point to change my phone numbers, email addresses, and block exes on any platform where I am even remotely mentioned. I don't have any social media accounts for them to peer through though. I've even considered moving to a new address on a few occasions, especially when an ex threatened to burn down a house. I've always been interested on how the ex social dynamic works out if you have children and such old enough to know what is going on, and if the movie portrayals of such families are accurate.
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