Ninjainpajamas Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 LOL. Two supposed men over the age of 35 fighting over a teenage girl who just graduated high school a year or two ago. Cupcakes ain't no big thing. But when he starts buying her the Hello Kitty stuff, then you can worry. Personally I'm old school and still go shirley temple instead of cupcakes...plus that cherry gives off that "I'm too old but not too old" sexual innuendo. Then you just tell them how pretty/cute they are, because that never fails. If you're really around the same age....this is pretty funny. 2
oldskl Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Actually, I'm oldskl, and here's the simple problem: 1) If you continue to act in any way jealous by questioning her, this 'little sweetie' is going to see you as an annoyingly obsessive and untrusting boyfriend. I already have an image of you in my head from the way you describe her and what you'd do if she would stray. Not great. 2) With that, Mr Old Beardy Boss Balls is suddenly going to look a lot more attractive compared to you. And then what will happen? Who knows. Play it cool. Very cool. Girls as young as 19 don't and won't be controlled. Heck, no girl wants or should be controlled. It's about trust. Only you can do that, so sit and ride it out. If she doesn't do a thing, you're ok. And if she does stray? Then she's too naive and a cheat, and you don't want someone like that. Easy.
Maleficent Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I'm just kind of wondering...what does a teenage girl call a 36 year old grownup man? Her oldfriend? Her manfriend? Her daddyfriend? 'Boyfriend' just seems so silly in this case. Sugar daddy... 2
Babolat Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I'm just pointing out the facts as I see them. And when I got off the phone with her a few minutes ago, she revealed that her boss told her how cute she is and bought her cupcakes. Now please tell me that his intentions are pure and honest, with no desire to try and seduce her? I am questioning why she is sharing this with you... 2
DresdenKing Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I am questioning why she is sharing this with you... Exactly. I have a bad feeling about it. I'd say there is an attraction to her boss, and she's letting her man know about it because she's feeling guilty about her thoughts or something. Stirring the pot and subtly (perhaps even subconsciously) conveying to him he might have some competition... Hope you haven't fallen too hard for this girl OP, a teenager's love is often fickle and ephemeral.
henderson14 Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Bringing her cupcakes is creepy. Don't listen to the people on there. If this happened to their SO they would be all up in arms about it. That isn't normal. Calling her cute is also right on that line and maybe slightly over of inappropriate. 2
Divasu Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 MY girlfriend is having lunch with her boss What a w*ore.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Amen. Let's cut the BS. As guys, we know exactly what it means when we call a girl cute. It means before even forming the words and expressing it to her, we already know this guy would definitely get in her pants given the opportunity, to put it plainly. May not necessarily mean he'll make a play for her, but still. Men and women can't be platonic friends for a reason... your suspicions are not unfounded. Does that make him a direct threat, though? Not necessarily, because if that's all it takes to become one then EVERY guy in the world who finds your girl physically attractive is a threat to you. And they are, technically speaking, but it's not up to you. If she wants to cheat, she'll cheat. By trusting her to not do so, she won't feel the need to rebel against your controlling attitude. Don't punch him or exude jealousy for showing interest in your gal, it's human nature to want what we can't have and she's only then going to see him as the desirable forbidden fruit. Learn from Eve's disobedience. On the other hand, do keep informing her and calmly making her aware of the nature of men, and how our minds work. Young women her age are usually incredibly naive when it comes to the lengths guys can and will go. Women don't value physical beauty as top priority like we do, so we can't just walk into a bar and flaunt our junk. We have developed other means to get laid. This boss of hers knows what he's doing. If he's smart, he might not make any explicit plays (this way your girl won't even know what's happening), he might use other tactics like reverse psychology and let HER come to him. Something to think about. "You're really cute, ya know that? Here, let me buy you some cupcakes." Pffffft. This is so obvious... You speak the truth. Anyone wanting to deal with reality knows what I'm talking about ain't bull****; that's for sure! Here's a brief update. I picked her up from work yesterday and didn't get a chance to meet the guy but she took a picture with him which she wasted no time in displaying to me. I pretended nonchalance because I sensed she was testing me in her own youthful way to see if I got jealous but I refused to buy into it. While we were out and about the City Hall area of NYC plenty of guys kept staring at her which I'm happy she ignored, but then she'll get very insecure if a good-looking girl came around trying to get my attention; something that happened more than several times yesterday. There was even an instant where a young girl, maybe early 20s sat directly in front of us at the pizza shop, checking me out directly. It just seems like different people are trying to come between us, and I don't know why, especially that boss of hers by offering to buy her lunch again next week, which she has yet to decline.
FitChick Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Who are her other coworkers? Does the boss take them out, too? Maybe he doesn't want to eat lunch alone. You can educate her about sexual harrassment in the workplace and how her job and her boss's job could be in jeopardy, just to plant a seed in her head. She will be more alert to possible signs. However, I wouldn't assume the worst immediately. My boss has bought his staff cupcakes, doughnuts, bagels. Gee, maybe he wants to have an orgy.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Who are her other coworkers? Does the boss take them out, too? Maybe he doesn't want to eat lunch alone. You can educate her about sexual harrassment in the workplace and how her job and her boss's job could be in jeopardy, just to plant a seed in her head. She will be more alert to possible signs. However, I wouldn't assume the worst immediately. My boss has bought his staff cupcakes, doughnuts, bagels. Gee, maybe he wants to have an orgy. She claims that the boss is going to have a colleague present so that them two can go over some extra stuff for her to learn on the job. For some reason I just don't believe this. It feels suspicious because she had no business taking pictures with him; let alone showing it to me. If that picture would've showed his arm around her I would've went off on her right then and there, terminating the relationship, hands down. However, I will mention that people are watching them and how they know he's the boss and her just an employee to mess with her mind, since she's simple like that sometimes.
DresdenKing Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) From the mighty clash of two stags rutting to the dawn raid of a chimpanzee, much violence in nature is perpetrated by males fighting each other in competition for female mates. And yet it's always more work than its worth in retrospect. Don't let your emotions get the best of you. This is a train wreck waiting to happen. At the end of the whole ordeal you'll be left exhausted and upset and she'll be the one with a devilish grin loving all the attention she's received... and from two older men to boot, how perfect. Plus she'll get easy pickings when the smoke clears; whomever gets most frustrated of the drama and gives up first, she'll simply go to the other. Practically forcing you to compete with each other to the figurative or literal bloody end. Anyone who goes out their way to make you jealous like she's doing is not mature and emotionally stable enough to be in a steady relationship with. So many red flags in this scenario. If she was truly naive and innocent about everything like a devil's advocate could suggest she is, she wouldn't have even thought to tell you about the cupcakes/cute comment/photo alone with him (which I still don't understand the reason for)... she WILL however neglect to tell you the little details like noticing this guy checking her out, and she DOES know whether or not he has at this point, women excel at reading body language. And yet she keeps seeing him. Because she secretly enjoys it and wants to see how far she can take this before you go bonkers. Imagine the roles were reversed, how would she react? Anyway, I'd say your best chess move throughout would be to never give her the satisfaction of showing her it's bothering you. Edited August 25, 2013 by DresdenKing
aliveagain Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Do you really want this drama in your life? Tell her she is free to date who ever she wants, just not as your girlfriend. 2
DresdenKing Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 $20 she ends up here: http://www.thejrexperiment.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/casting-couch.jpg
mesmerized Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 $20 she ends up here: http://www.thejrexperiment.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/casting-couch.jpg :lmao::lmao: 2
kaylan Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 $20 she ends up here: http://www.thejrexperiment.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/casting-couch.jpg :lmao::lmao: I used to watch those videos a lot. 2
coffeebean201 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Sounds like her not taking your fears seriously has already hurt you. Who cares about him. It is just someone she works with and hopefully she likes and keeps her job Maybe she isn't sure about you and is sorta keeping her options open. Nothing you can do about that. If a woman really likes you, she will sometimes still flirt with others, but there won't be any question of where her loyalty and emotions rest (with you). There are good days/bad days, but she keeps coming back to you.
yankees51988 Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 Wow this topic can't be serious, lol. I don't blame her for laughing that you got upset over something like that.
xorro Posted August 27, 2013 Posted August 27, 2013 This does sound creepy, especially with the cupcake + cute + lunch next week + photo. She's definitely trying to get a rise out of you. I used to give men the benefit of the doubt- if they said they wanted to meet up 'just for lunch' or 'as friends', I would take them at their word. Now I don't. I've been shocked at older men making passes at me. Not because I have anything against them, just the amount of deception they use. They definitely try to build up a safe, platonic rapport. Then they make a move. And at that point, it's uncomfortable, overwhelming, and could be difficult for a teenager to avoid. Oh and if you call them on it, they'll deny that their intentions are anything but pure. So how naive is she? Unless she's confident and assertive, I would worry. Either she really likes him, and wants a relationship with him, in which case you're best getting out of the way. OR she's flattered by his attention, trying to make you a little jealous, and is totally walking into his trap. With this scenario, it would be very easy for her to end up in a relationship with him that she doesn't really want. If you think she's just flattered, and not serious about him, you need to calmly warn her. This isn't really about your relationship- I hate to see an older man in a position of power trying to worm his way in with a teenager. They aren't equals, and he knows it's not right. Tell her that if you're right, it's only a matter of time before he makes a pass at her. She needs to think about how she will react when that happens, and reflect on who she wants to be with. Also, dating the boss is a terrible idea. Is he married? If so, she needs to avoid him like the plague- it will not end well for her. If she continues to try to make you jealous, end it. But try to warn her.
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