Hopeless80 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I wanted to get your take on if it's ok to date your cousin's ex or not. Said cousin and I were never close. In fact, we never saw eye to eye and never went out of our way to be friends. To me, she is everything I'm not. I'm friendly and down to earth, she's snobby and makes things about her all the time. Many years ago she was in a serious relationship with this guy for several years. When they split up he and I got closer and he did ask me out, but even though I wasn't friends with my cousin I didn't feel right accepting and said no. We then lost touch for several years. Now, we've recently reconnected and are in the process of getting to know each other again. I'm really starting to like him romantically, I'm not sure if he feels the same, neither one of us has made a move. My cousin has moved on with her life. She got married, had children, got divorced, and recently just re-married again. I don't know what she would think, or anyone else in my family for that matter, if I started dating this guy now. I mean it's been many years so I think they'd all be ok with it although my cousin might be a bit resentful, but really I don't care. As I said, we're not friends AND as I said she's married now so I don't feel like I'd be betraying her. What do you think?
Philosoraptor Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 It's been years. She's been married twice and has kids. I'd say the coast is clear. If she's still hung up over something after this long then I feel bad for her current husband.
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Convince yourself enough yet? Kind of distasteful if you ask me, with all the people in the world there's just gotta be a better option than that IMO It's your call though, you mainly seem concerned with how the impressions of other people, including family may feel...but family has seen weirder things I'm sure. I just think that he was talking to you less because he was interested but likely just someone he could talk to at the time, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't even have went there in the first place...it's just not a smart/desirable move for me, plus you don't even know how interested the guy is, he might not even want anything serious in the first place...which is likely.
Author Hopeless80 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Posted August 24, 2013 Convince yourself enough yet? Kind of distasteful if you ask me, with all the people in the world there's just gotta be a better option than that IMO It's your call though, you mainly seem concerned with how the impressions of other people, including family may feel...but family has seen weirder things I'm sure. I just think that he was talking to you less because he was interested but likely just someone he could talk to at the time, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't even have went there in the first place...it's just not a smart/desirable move for me, plus you don't even know how interested the guy is, he might not even want anything serious in the first place...which is likely. Well... aren't you just a big ol ray of sunshine!! I'm not trying to "convince myself on anything". I was asking for other people's opinion on this situation. Last I knew that's what this forum was for. I did say in my original post that I was developing feelings for him, but that I wasn't sure if he felt the same so I'm not sure why you're pointing that out. Back when he originally asked me out years ago we were very good friends! We spoke on the phone frequently and we hung out just about ever weekend. We were very close, but then life happened and we lost touch with each other. If I'm developing feelings for him, there is a possibility he's developing feelings for me too. I personally think that since their relationship didn't work out and she moved on, than she should be ok with me dating her ex. Not every relationship will work. If we're compatible now, why shouldn't we be able to give it a go? That's all I was wondering and looking for advice on.
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