PinkDotsXOXO Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 So I started seeing this guy and we eventually both agreed that neither of us are completely ready for a relationship at the moment for various reasons. We first only saw each other maybe once a week which has now progressed to the entire weekend. We have a friends with benefits relationship going on for sure and we barley ever leave his house when i come over. Were constantly trying to keep things fun but doing new things that neither of us or one of us have never done. However, I just recently realized according to him that there are some parameters for us to follow which I obviously was not aware of. First of all, he gets angry when I even MENTION another guy no matter in what context (which I don't bring up a guy in a romantic context to him ever). He gets all mad & jealous when I do being up a guy friend (because in his mind if me and a guy or friends than I have OBVIOUSLY hooked up with him at one point or another- not true might i add). If I'm with him and I get a text he automatically assumes its from another dude and gets annoyed that my friends text me late at night. Were not allowed to be seeing other people or dating or kissing or messing around with anyone else. We've known each other for a little over a month, and hes a very guarded person so he's not straightforward with all of his feelings. We have however of course established that were not together or dating. My question is not only am I confused but how is this really any different from a relationship besides that we don't really leave his house? We talk everyday and its not always sexual in nature. I don't know if these are the normal characteristics of a FWB relationship or not. There are a number of reasons why we would NOT work out but for now its working...Thanks in advance for any advice!!
MrTurk Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 So basically you are living under his rules, even though you arent dating him. Can someone tell me where I can find these gullible women????????
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 Is FWB the type of relationship you want in general? What do you hope will happen in this relationship? To me "FWB" means friends with benefits- I am not sure why you wouldn't be able to talk to a friend about guys you are dating? I've also heard the term "F Buddies"- to me tht means 2 people who aren't really interested in being friends or bf/gf or anything but are just using each other for sex. I don't think FWB or FB is a good strategy for anyone who wants a real relationship- it just sucks up your time, and prevents you from being available to meet someone else that might turn out to be a good partner- but if you really want to do this FWB thing for some reason, I'm not judging you or trying to make you feel bad for your choice. Grown adults can do whatever they want. I'm just wondering if this is what you really want?
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 So basically you are living under his rules, even though you arent dating him. Can someone tell me where I can find these gullible women???????? Why do you want a "gullible" woman? I don't think she is gullible. Why do your comments seem so judgemental and rude? 1
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 I can't really help you here because I've basically found myself in the exact same situation word for word including the texting "jealousy" only nothing has been established in terms of ruling out an actual relationship. Like you, it's currently working for me as well. Go figure . If it works, just go with it IMO. Wow that's really interesting. (I'm not being sarcastic) So you are in a FWB and it is working for you? Ill bet you could help this girl by explaining why it's working for you. So she can see if she feels the same. I'm really curious (but I understand if you don't want to answer, these Q's are personal) Why do you want a FWB? Why does he? How is it different from a "normal" relationship? 1
BradJacobs Posted August 22, 2013 Posted August 22, 2013 My question is not only am I confused but how is this really any different from a relationship besides that we don't really leave his house? We talk everyday and its not always sexual in nature. I don't know if these are the normal characteristics of a FWB relationship or not. They are and have been for my FWBs ... up to but not including the jealousy bit. Exclusive FWBs are still FWBs but not open arrangements like booty calls or f--- buddies. It's not a true relationship but bumps right up against it in a lot of ways. I'll never hang out with a FB for more than just sex. I will hang out with a FWB for more than just sex but sex usually happens when we hang out. I will never fall in love with a FWB. I can fall in love with a relationship partner. It keeps things nice and tidy.
MrTurk Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 Wow that's really interesting. (I'm not being sarcastic) So you are in a FWB and it is working for you? Ill bet you could help this girl by explaining why it's working for you. So she can see if she feels the same. I'm really curious (but I understand if you don't want to answer, these Q's are personal) Why do you want a FWB? Why does he? How is it different from a "normal" relationship? I firmly beleive that 99% of the time.....FWB = one person just wants sex and the other person wants more, but is willing to conform just to be accepted .
ascendotum Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I firmly beleive that 99% of the time.....FWB = one person just wants sex and the other person wants more, but is willing to conform just to be accepted . To me the OPs situation is more just a f-buddy scenario. I still like to think FWBs do activities together that have them together outside the house, but I realize people have their own interpretations. Were constantly trying to keep things fun but doing new things that neither of us or one of us have never done. I guess this doesn't involve seeing new sites or new activities/past times. lol. Funny that you need to 'constantly try'. Shyte, regular sex with a new sexy girl (especially if she looked like the one in your avatar' would keep a lot of guys happy for quite sometime. As for his jealousy, don't be made to feel bad by it, and let him know it is taking the fun out this for you and this is the nature of FB/FWB. If he can't stow his jealousy then maybe he needs to find someone less desirable or find a girlfriend who is committed and answerable to him. The jealousy aspect happens a far bit in this situations I gather especially for the one who has stronger feelings naturally.
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 23, 2013 Posted August 23, 2013 I firmly beleive that 99% of the time.....FWB = one person just wants sex and the other person wants more, but is willing to conform just to be accepted . That's actually a pretty fair assumption. I'm pleasantly surprised at your logical reasoning this time Mr Turk. But----Assuming isnt reality---Maybe both people really want to be in a FWB. Who are we to judge? It's possible. I'm pretty sure I don't want to be in a FWB situation. It sounds really stressful. But maybe some people like it? Is that out of the question?
Author PinkDotsXOXO Posted August 23, 2013 Author Posted August 23, 2013 Thanks everyone for all of your feedback! I have to say, I think there are definitely times in someone's life when this situation is ideal. Almost 5 months ago my ex of 7 years broke up with me out of the blue. Rushing into a relationship right now wouldn't be exactly fair to the new guy or myself. I'm unsure how I feel about the new guy I'm FWB with but I have to agree with Contre here and I'm happy to see how things unfold. 2
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