should i trust my ex? future reconciliation??

[Dez]

if you read my past threads you may know my story.. but anyways my mistakes during the post break up was that i would bother her, get on her case about things she did, had trust issues, and begged her to come back. she told me this "i really don't want to be with you again, you can't even give me space, how can i trust you on other things?"

 

i've been in NC for 9 days. she told me before that she needs space to make her miss me. that her and her sister use to fight and they took time off now they are talking and on good terms. says that could be us if i listened to her. she said "look i hella care about you, but theres no chance for us right now, you can't even give me space." says once i let her go, then she'll know i'm ready. once i give her space, then she'll know i'm ready.

 

says this time is for her to forgive and heal. she needs to let me go completely to do it. i said "you got your wish, i'm out of your life forever." she replied "don't be dramatic, if we mean something, we won't be gone forever."

 

so i'm going to continue with NC. i'm hoping giving her space will build the trust i lost between us, hope this proves it. i hoping for the best and for a second chance..

[Philosoraptor]

You shouldn't hang your hopes on getting back together at any point.

 

You're only allowing yourself to be led on rather than actually healing and becoming more secure with yourself.

[Dez]

she told me that she wants to hang out in the future.. that we should build a friendship first...

[Philosoraptor]

she told me that she wants to hang out in the future.. that we should build a friendship first...

Read the rest of the breakup threads here. Many many ex's say things like that. Only for the dumpee to find out a short time later that the dumper is in a new relationship or sleeping with someone else.

[barky2]

Hate to say this, but when I posted almost the same stuff on Ls awhile back, someone told me she had someone else.

 

I was like no not my girl.

 

Found out she did.

 

May not be the case in yours.

 

Id focus on letting her go and moving on right now so if it is true, it will deaden the pain.

 

 

 

Barky

[lovesucks76]

I understand where you're coming from. You care about her so you're staying NC in hopes she'll respect you again and take you back eventually. While I understand the logic I can tell that it's important for you do this NC thing for YOU not HER. I feel empowered every time I don't pick up the phone to text or call her. I think about it every day and try to find excuses to contact her but I won't because I will only be hurting myself and pushing her further away. I need space right now to figure things out and think about our RS without prejudice. Sometimes you're in too deep to realize what's really going on. Space is a great thing for both sides. If she cares about you she will come around but you need to play it cool for a while. My ex texted me yesterday and while I was happy about it I was also not holding any hope of getting back together. I'm also not ready to discuss what went wrong with us because I'm still feeling a bit hurt by her. I want to be in full control before I get back to dating again.

[Dez]

she does care about me still. because out of all her boyfriends and ppl she dated. she cut them all off without explanation. she told me that i'm still in her life because i'm different... i'm a good person. that i need time to grow and learn from my mistakes.

[barky2]

she does care about me still. because out of all her boyfriends and ppl she dated. she cut them all off without explanation. she told me that i'm still in her life because i'm different... i'm a good person. that i need time to grow and learn from my mistakes.

 

 

No dude.

 

Hate to be harsh but I want your eyes open.

 

Backburner.

 

Just in case if the plans she has doesn't go her way, ull be there.

 

You might say Nono, but most would agree with me unfortunately.

 

For your sake I hope I'm wrong.

 

 

 

 

Barky

[lovesucks76]

i'm a good person. that i need time to grow and learn from my mistakes.

Seriously??? She just called you immature dude. Learn from your mistakes??What?? Is she punishing you now? Is she your master? I would be pissed, have some pride and step back!

[Dez]

Seriously??? She just called you immature dude. Learn from your mistakes??What?? Is she punishing you now? Is she your master? I would be pissed, have some pride and step back!

 

yeah, i made mistakes.. by pleading and begging. not giving her space. not listening. i agree with her, she was a psychology major in college. i'm giving her space and learning.

[Coping Vortex]

No dude.

 

Hate to be harsh but I want your eyes open.

 

Backburner.

 

Just in case if the plans she has doesn't go her way, ull be there.

 

You might say Nono, but most would agree with me unfortunately.

 

For your sake I hope I'm wrong.

 

 

 

 

Barky

 

I totally agree with Barky. I was back burner too. You can't believe they would be like that but so are when they pull the "back burner" stuff.

[lovesucks76]

yeah, i made mistakes.. by pleading and begging. not giving her space. not listening. i agree with her, she was a psychology major in college. i'm giving her space and learning.

 

 

Good! But don't do it for her, do it for you! I don't care if she's a psychology major. I've dated a Psych major before and she happened to be one of the most crazy people I've ever met. Whatever you do DON'T idolize her or put her on a pedestal. She's human just like you and I. I bet she makes lots of mistakes too....this is for YOU not her!! I know is tough but please grab your balls back man!

[barky2]

And just for the record...you asked should I trust her?

 

 

No.

 

 

She's not the same person now, as who she was when you guys were together.

 

 

#Fact.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Barky