Girlfriend told me she needs time and space to think and doesnt know where it stands.

[raider89]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, September 3rd would have been our 1 year.

 

Shes 20 and I am 24, she turns 21 this Friday and we all made plans with her family to go out and buy her first drinks as being able to legally drink.

 

This past Sunday we go to the movies and out to eat, everything was perfect still had our little laughs and giggles and kisses and holding hands and the I love you and long good-byes.

 

Then Monday we both worked didnt see each other, texted a little bit here and there.

 

We do only see each other maybe 2 and sometimes 3 times a week, its mostly one day through the week and a day on the weekend.

 

She grew up with very old fashioned parents, and Ive got to know them pretty well, I've been on weekend family reunions, I've met her whole family, I mean they all like me, even talked about helping her dad with work on the weekends.

 

She believed in waiting til marriage to have sex or until she was with someone she knew she was going to be with forever, I mean after 6 months she realized I was the one and she gave me her virginity and said it was something special and shes going to be with me forever, we had a house to move into in February, we both been buying stuff for it so were ready when we move in, everyday she and I would talk about, I mean her and me was inseparable, everyone knew and everyone seen it, her friends would tell her they wish they had what we did we was what we called perfect, we had marriage figured out and kids.

 

So Tuesday rolls around and you know im asking how work was today and she goes it sucked just been thinking and stuff, I asked what about us?, she said kinda and I asked her what she was thinking about and she said bits and pieces here and there, and I said are you having second thoughts is everything okay?, she says idk, then I said are you wanting to leave and she said idk, basically every question I asked was Idk i really dont know. And then when I told her if shes going to break up with me then just do it, and I got no reply.

 

The next day i waited until around 8 at night to text her and try to get some answers because I was left hanging with not explanation and that just ate at me. Asked her how she was doing she said sick, and work sucked, i told her its almost her birthday cheer up just friday is around the corner and she was like yeah I know, then i asked if the plans were still on for friday cause we had tickets to go to a concert for her birthday and out to eat with her parents. She said a few things have been thrown around and idk whats going on yet, and I asked if I was invited and she said I really dont know I have so much going through my head its ridiculous. And I told her to talk to me I can help with as much as I can. She says: I just dont know what I want, I mean I love you and no matter what I always will, But then i get to thinking and idk. Then I tell her how we can work on it and figure this out you know we been through alot and our relationship is strong if theres things you wanna do then we can do those things. Then she says I just step back and look and at where were at and we are at two different places n our lives and idk how to deal with it. I told her im at the same place in life you are, just because im 24 and your 21 doesnt mean we have to move fast and do the things im ready for, im ready for settling down and what not but I told her im not going to push you on that im going to move with you.

 

She replies I know but I mean idk I just need time. I really dont know at this point where it all stands.

 

I asked her if we are still together like are you still my girlfriend I didnt wanna be left hanging again.

 

She says idk I just need time to think.

 

I tell her i know she needs some time and thats fine weve been through alot I know we can make it through this, we all made so many promises and been through so much and planned so many things out.

 

She replies I just need space and time right now, and im so so so sorry that i do but i do and I cant help that.

 

Then I asked if she could promise me that she will try that she would fight for us.

 

She says Yes, ill try I promise.

 

Then I said Cause I can tell you will want to be together because you wont says its over to me, I tried to get her to tell me she didnt wanna be with me and that she wanted to break up, but she wouldnt she would not tell me its over.

 

and she repied yes to that too.

 

I mean im really lost here, ive been beating myself up for something that hasnt happened yet but to me its over even though she hasnt said it yet and wont.

 

Do I just stop all contact with her, when do I try and contact her or do I wait for her to contact me I mean im lost right now, especially all of a sudden when this comes out of nowhere, everyone i know that knows me and her even her best friend dont understand why.

 

Insight some explanations and motivation or just something to help me understand and get me through this rough time im doing through.

[Philosoraptor]

In regards to keeping her, there is nothing you can do. If you keep bothering her she could say "I said I wanted space", if you don't contact her it could be "I see I never meant anything to you, goodbye". Not saying that is what will happen, but oftentimes in this position you are in a no win situation.

 

If you want to do the best for you I'd say go along with the idea she will never come back and do what it takes to find security within yourself. If she comes back, great. If not, you'll at least be in the process of moving on.

[raider89]

Yeah I understand what you're saying, I could see her saying I just need space if I continued to contact her, she wouldn't ever be mean, she would just be short with me but she would reply when I talk to her. She knows I love her and she knows I know she loves me. She just seems very confused with what she wants, and women never know what they want, but I thought we had it all figured out.